Page 85 of The Celtic Resolution
My rescue passes in a blur.One minute, I’m screaming and sobbing over Bruno’s motionless body, the next, I’m being dragged away by voices too blurred to recognize, and nothing I do brings me back to Bruno. A sea of darkness gives way to a sea of light and I’m wrestling against doctors and nurses all telling me to calm down, that they’re here to help me and I’m safe.
I don’t feel safe.
And then my contractions reach my peak and it feels like my body is being ripped in two. It matches the agony of my broken heart as Bruno’s pale, blood-stained face doesn’t leave my thoughts even as my adrenaline-drained, exhausted body somehow pushes my baby boy into the world. I see him through tears only for a second before he’s rushed away and Cormac’s face appears.
He grips my hand and his mouth moves, but I can’t work out when the hell he even got here. I try to ask him, but it’s finally too much. I have nothing left to give and I sink into a turbulent darkness.
I wake several days later with a pounding, dull headache and throbbing limbs as if I just ran ten marathons back to back. It takes me a few long, silent minutes to gather myself and process the white ceiling above me, the slatted blinds on the window blocking out the evening sun, and the surrounding machines detailing every aspect of my body and its functions.
I blink slowly. My eyelids feel impossibly heavy, and while the urge to sink back into sleep is strong, I can’t because I’m missing something.
My baby. My twin. My lover.
Pain lances through my heart and I gasp, which makes the head of the man next to me jolt up lightning fast.
“Saoirse?” Cormac half rises out of his seat and hovers over me, his brow twisted in concern. “You’re awake, thank God. Are you okay? Are you in pain? I should go get the doctor?—”
“No.” My rough voice sounds alien to my ears as I dart out a hand and grasp his wrist. “D–Don’t leave me… please.”
His face crumples slightly like he’s fighting back tears and he nods repeatedly. “I’m here. I’m right here.”
I nod once and close my eyes, trying to orient myself within my own body and work out what I feel. Other than the headache, a burning throat, and distantly aching limbs, I’m numb. And everything is slowly coming back to me.
Opening my eyes, tears fill them once more and I no longer have the energy to fight them.
“Look at you,” Cormac murmurs. “To think I went years without seeing you cry.”
“I—” I have so much to ask but the words don’t come. Each time I try, a sob rises in my chest and drowns out my speech.
Cormac takes my hand between both of his and lifts it to his mouth, kissing my knuckles. “I can imagine what you’re trying to ask me so instead of telling you to take your time, I’m just going to tell you what I know and you can decide whether I miss anything, okay?”
I nod quickly and blink furiously through the tears.
“You had a baby boy, Saoirse. He’s in the NICU because he’s premature, but he’s doing great. He’s as strong as his mother.”
Oh, thank God.
As undecided as I was over that child, and how often I feared he would be born directly into captivity, knowing he’s alive fills me with so much relief that I can barely breathe. I have a child. A baby boy. He’s mine and he’s alive.
I can’t hold back the sobbing after that and Cormac’s grip tightens on my hand.
“We found Cian in the lighthouse. He’s recovering. He had to have quite a few surgeries on his leg and his elbow because of what they did to him. He’s lost a lot of blood, malnourished and weak, but he’s recovering. He’s a fighter. He’s okay, Saoirse. He’s going to make it just like you.”
Cian. Oh, God.
I thought the guilt of leaving him in that stairwell was going to kill me, but they have him and he’s alive.
Thank fucking God.
“Bruno…” Cormac pauses and it feels like my heart is about to give out. “He scraped by. Just. Had a bunch of surgeries to save his life and he hasn’t woken up yet, but the doctors are optimistic.”
It’s the last straw. I clutch at Cormac, openly sobbing out all my pain and exhaustion andreliefthat somehow, everyone I care about is okay. I fell into darkness thinking I’d lost and failed everyone I loved, but somehow, they made it.
Somehow, I made it.
“I–I’m sorry,” I gasp through pouring tears and a runny nose. “I f–fucked up. I ruined e–everything.”
“Saoirse, don’t you dare.” Cormac moves from his chair to my bedside and pulls me into his burly arms. “Don’t youfuckingdare think like that. You ruined nothing, you hear me? Not a damn thing.”
