Page 65 of The Celtic Resolution
“Saoirse, no?—”
“Kill me!” I scream, surging forward. “You better kill me because I swear I won’t stop trying to kill you until you do. Kill me, motherfucker. Finish what you started!”
Bruno looks utterly horrified. “I?—”
“Kill! Me!”
28
BRUNO
Securing medical care for Saoirse is my first goal, and it’s surprisingly easy. Turns out when you buy a person, no one questions your intentions with them and most assume I want Saoirse treated so I can have my way with her.
The thought sickens me but it gets her medical care without question and that’s all I care about. After her furious attack on me the first time I visited her, I expected the same with the doctor but the cameras showed a completely different story. Saoirse was quiet and docile. She barely even reacted to the doctor’s presence as he cleaned her up, tended to her wounds and wrapped a few of the more serious ones in gauze. She didn’t speak to him at all either. It was like she completely checked out.
And I don’t blame her.
How the fuck am I going to fix this? On one hand, I had to purchase the woman I love to save her from going overseas and protect her from a situation that she’s in because of me. On the other, one wrong move and my father will do God knows what to my sister, and then likely turn on Saoirse. I have no one and nothing to help me.
But there has to be a way.
I will find a way.
That mantra plays through my head every time I visit Saoirse to bring her food and water, and clear away the untouched plates. It repeats like a song in each meeting I attend with my father while doing everything I can to maintain his trust in me. It’s a thought as common as breathing while pouring over every document and bank account I get access to for a hint toward who the mysterious third pillar of power is in this organization. And through it all, keeping Saoirse safe is my priority.
Difficult when she’s imprisoned and I’m her jailer, but it’s all I can do to make sure no one hurts her ever again.
That mantra lasts until I’m alone in the shower with nothing but the pounding, scalding water for company. It’s then that the despair comes. The panic and guilt that I was so blinded by my desire to get approval for my father that I couldn’t see what he was really like, and walked right into his fucking trap. A few words and I was ten years old again, believing everything he told me like it was law and betraying the only person in the world who truly cared about me.
Saoirse.
How did I fuck this up so completely?
The world continues to turn while Saoirse remains my prisoner, and, after giving her a few days to calm herself down, I return to her cell in the basement of the lighthouse. Domenico insists on keeping her there because it’s close to the shipments he leaves me in charge of. I try not to think about the people buried in those shipments but I keep a record of every single shipping container, ship, and Captain. I tell myself I’ll redeem myself by somehow saving everyone I have a hand in condemning but deep down I know how impossible that will be.
Knocking softly on the door, I balance a tray of food in one hand and let myself in. The only thing Saoirse has ever accepted from me since arriving here is clothing to cover herself up, anda duvet and pillows for the bed. She’s created a nest for herself, and I’d bring her more, but I’m terrified that anything I give her will be used to take her own life.
Her anger toward me seems topped only by her own heartbreaking desire to die. I caused this and I need to fix it.
“I brought soup today. The doctor says it will be easy on your stomach but you really need to start eating something or you’ll reach a stage where even water will be rejected.”
She doesn’t look at me. Doesn’t speak.
Earlier’s lunch remains untouched at my feet on another tray but the water cup is empty. She’s drinking, just not eating. Maybe the soup will be easier on her then. Crouching, I swap the trays around and I’m about to leave as usual when she shifts subtly under the covers and peeks out. Her eyes darken the second she glimpses me though, and she immediately rolls over.
“Saoirse… please, talk to me.” It’s pathetic of me to ask and even worse for me to hope, but I need her to know I’m trying to help her. That I care. And that I’m so fucking sorry. Hell, once I get her out of her and back to her family I’ll happily let her kill me. I just want her totalkto me.
She remains silent with only a few strands of auburn hair poking out from the duvet.
Setting the tray down, I approach the mattress and drop down to my haunches. “It would be so much easier for me to tell you everything if you would just look at me.”
Nothing but silence.
“Saoirse, please. The longer this goes on, the harder it will be for me to fix this and I know, itshouldbe hard but is there no?—”
“Fuck! Off!” Saoirse bolts upward and spits directly in my face. “I’m not going to make anything easy for you, you fucking slimy piece of shit. I hope you break your neck walking out of here and I— what the fuck, getoffme!”
I react more than I think and part of my soul cracks hearing howscaredshe sounds when I shove her back down onto the mattress and climb over the top of her. To the camera’s it’ll look like I’ve finally had enough and that’s what I need.
