Page 64 of Fire and Ice
“You’re right.” He fisted his hand on the tablecloth before relaxing it. “I shouldn’t make light of something that matters so much to you.” He studied her. “What can I do to make you feel better about it?”
“Become a dentist or a pharmacist?” She gave a sad laugh. “Anything that doesn’t require you being in a dangerous situation.” She shook her head. “No, I’d never ask you to leave what you love to do.”
He wasn’t sure what to say. What could he say?
“There’s something else.” She closed her eyes tightly before she opened them. “I don’t know that I can handle that and you being a recovering alcoholic.” She shook her head. “After George…”
Grady pinched the corners of his eyes with his thumb and forefinger before opening them again. “I’m not George.” He said the words quietly. “I take it one day at a time, you know that. But I’m not him.”
“I know you’re not.” She said the words almost harshly. “But what are we looking at? Dangerous job? Recovering alcoholic?”
Grady just looked at her before saying quietly. “You said you trust me, Chelsea, that you believe in me. What happened to that trust and that belief?”
“I’m sorry.” More tears rolled down her cheeks. “I know what I said, and I know you’re not him, but I can’t go through all of that again.”
“I’ll leave.” Grady had never felt the kind of emotion that choked him now, crowding his throat and burning his eyes. “I can find a place to stay.”
She looked horrified. “No. I don’t want you to leave.”
“Then what do you want, Chelsea?” he asked.
She put her hand over her mouth for a long moment, as if holding something back. When she finally lowered her hand and spoke, all she got out was, “I don’t know.”
Grady was gone.
Tears rolled down Chelsea’s face as she stared at the note again. She’d been gone most of the day at the dress shop and came home to find all signs of Grady had been taken away, as if he hadn’t spent the past month in her home.
Where was he? Panic clenched her heart so tightly it felt like a rock landed on her chest. She gripped the paper so tightly it crumpled. Was he all right?
She forced herself to calm down. It would have been impossible for Grady to move out on his own, so he’d had to get help. No doubt one or more of the firefighters he worked with.
A sick feeling weighed heavily in her belly, like a huge concrete block had settled there. She went from room to room to see if he had left something behind. Anything. It was like she needed a piece of his life to be with her.
In the guest bedroom, she found one sock. She sat on the edge of the bed as she laid the sock on her lap and stared at the crumpled note. She smoothed the paper so that it was as close to flat as she could get it and read the message again.
* * *
Chelsea,
* * *
I’m not giving up on us. You mean far too much to me. Please take time to think it through. I want to work with you on it and talk whenever you’re ready.
* * *
Grady
* * *
Chelsea squeezed her eyes shut but tears still escaped. She shouldn’t have told him yet. He needed someone to help him out until he was able to move around on his own.
A sob escaped her and then another. No, that’s not true. She put her face in her hands.
Grady made the right decision to leave, but that didn’t make it easy. She did need time to figure this whole thing out and decide whether or not she could live with Grady’s chosen career and addiction.
21
Chelsea went through the sale rack, putting sizes in the correct order, and even organizing everything by color, something she had just started after Grady left.
