Page 39 of Tangled With the Wrong Guy
But then he smiled. ‘And now, my angel …’ his hand found its way between her legs again, ‘let me send you back to heaven.’
‘No.’ She stopped his hand. ‘I’m not doing that. I want you properly. Tell me the truth – is it because you don’t like doing it with women? As in, having full sex with women. What I mean is, because you prefer …’ She stopped and screwed up her face. This was hard; he might be in denial.
He raked his hand through his hair, looking baffled. ‘Preferwhat?’
‘Because you’re gay? Or bi? What in actual fact are you?’
‘GAY?What the fuck?’ He looked down at his cock, still standing proud and pretty. ‘Do I look like I’m gay?’
‘Bi?’
‘No!’
‘You don’t fancy men?’ Nowshewas properly confused. ‘Are you sure you’re not in denial?’
‘I do not fancy men, no.’
‘Not at all?’
He shook his head, looking even more bewildered. ‘I once snogged a guy at uni, because he said he was in love with me and I thought I’d see how it felt, but it did nothing for me.’ He looked at her again, then down at his cock, which after that conversation was suddenly less reinforced steel and more one of those sea cucumbers she’d seen on a snorkelling trip. ‘Why onearthwould you think that?’
‘Oscar Wilde? The love that dare not speak its name? The Sound of Music? Joel – you organised your whole stag round a visit to Oscar Wilde’s tomb! What was I supposed to think?’
For a moment he was speechless, blinking in surprise. Then he lay back and began to laugh. And laugh and laugh. His eyes were glassy with tears.
‘Oh shit, I’m dying. Chloe, you absolute doofus; you gorgeous idiot.’
‘You’re not …’
‘No,I’mnot gay. I’m very boringly straight. And believe me when I tell you, I’ve never fancied anyone as much as I fancy you right now.’ He shook his head, and chuckled some more, wiping his eyes, then finally his face grew serious. ‘Maybe that’s because it’s my last moment of freedom, or maybe it’s just because you’re so bloody adorable. But please believe me when I say, I have my reasons for holding back, and talking about them won’t benefit either of us.’
He stopped, and then the silence started to feel heavy. She had so many questions, but she stayed quiet.Stillhe didn’t want to talk.
‘Or … dammit,’ he said finally, ‘maybe Ishould…’ His hand moved to her breast; he began to stroke it. ‘She’ll never know. And like you said, it’s pretty much splitting hairs. After all, I licked cream out of your–’
No,’ she interrupted, having made up her mind even while wanting him this much. ‘No proper sex unless you tell me the truth, Joel. I can’t spend tonight with you and then say goodbye for ever, never knowing what it was all about. Why did you need to see Oscar so badly if you’re not gay? Anddoing the right thing. Why don’t you just support her financially? Being a single mum’s not shameful these days, and if her family disapproves, she can just ignore them, right?’
If Joel had looked confused before, he now looked dumbfounded. ‘Single mum? What?’
‘Doing the right thing? And why Oscar?’
He let out an enormous sigh. ‘Oh Chloe. What on earth has been going on in your beautiful head? A baby? I’m gay?’ He buried his face in her neck, and she felt his breath on her skin as he sighed again. Then he went still, before beginning to shake with laughter.
‘It’s not funny!’ she said.
But … what the heck? Was hecrying?
‘Joel?’ she said, turning her head, trying to look at him, but he kept his face hidden.
‘I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, Chloe.’
Oh god. He really was crying. The laughter had turned to tears.
‘I’ve fucked up. Everything’s fucked. I thought it might make things better, doing the right thing. Saving her. Her for him. Like … atoning. But …’ he sucked in a breath, trying to stop the tears. ‘Meeting you; you making me think about things, I’ve been trying not to think about things, just do, don’t think. Maybe I’ve only made everything worse.’
The words all ran together in his distress, and she couldn’t make head nor tale of them. A lump formed in her throat as she stroked his hair.
‘Start at the beginning,’ she said. ‘I’m not going anywhere, neither are you, and we’ve got all night. What did you mean,her for him? No, just tell me, first of all. Do you love her?’
