Page 41 of Tangled With the Wrong Guy
He swallowed a laugh. ‘Fuck’s sake, I’m trying to be serious here. You’re making that difficult. Which is probably why I love you.’
Her eyes widened.
‘As in, I love your craziness,’ he blustered. ‘The way you can’t just take what I say at face value. You have to chew it over,take it apart, turn it upside down and inside out – and then come up with entirely the wrong conclusion.’
‘Oscar Wilde, Joel. You were saying?’
He sighed again and went quiet. ‘Okay. I’m going to get emotional now – I won’t be able to help it. See, you’re not the only one here with a broken heart. So I need you to hold me.’
What on earth was he about to reveal?
He shuffled down again and put his head on her chest, his arm across her waist. She rested her hand on his head. ‘I got you.’
‘I had an older brother.’ He paused and swallowed. ‘Monty. Dad named him after a World War Two hero, General Montgomery. It kind of set the tone for what was expected of him. Let’s just say, Monty didn’t come anywhere close to those expectations.’
His use of the past tense made Chloe’s heart drop like stone. She braced herself against what was to come, holding him tight with her free arm, clasping his shackled hand with hers.
‘When we were kids, Monty loved dressing up, like, walking around the house in Mum’s shoes and so on. He was loud and funny and a total drama queen. That was okay when Dad was away, but when we were all home, Dad didn’t respond at all well to Monty’s theatrics.’
‘How much older than you was Monty?’ she asked.
‘Two years. I idolised him. He made me laugh so much; he was so over the top, and he was the kindest big brother imaginable. He was very clever with words, too, brilliant at English. Just like Oscar Wilde, in fact. He was in a school production ofThe Importance of Being Earnest, and that was what set him off on his enduring obsession with Oscar.’
‘Oh, I get it now.’ Chloe’s heart was hurting for so many reasons.
‘We all knew he was gay, of course, but Mum and Dad refused to acknowledge it. Rather than talk to him about it, they pretended it wasn’t happening; made out he was just this flamboyant person who loved the theatre. They’re pretty religious; to them being gay is a sin. All his friends knew –everyoneknew – I mean, it was obvious. But nobody dared speak the truth in front of Mum and Dad for fear of offending them. As long as Monty didn’t bring up his sexuality or talk about his relationships, or do anything gay in public, they turned a blind eye. Or they were just in denial.’
‘The love that dare not speak its name,’ she said. ‘Even now.’
‘Yes. We tiptoed round it, and when he left home I thought everything would be fine. At last he could come out, be openly gay. He went to drama school, had a brilliant time and did well there. But there was a problem, ’cause Mum and Dad disapproved of his career choice. Mum was easier on him; she persuaded Dad they should continue to support him financially, but when he left RADA he was on his own.’
‘I guess it’s not the steadiest of jobs, acting?’
‘Nope. He was a waiter when he was resting, but then Covid hit.’
‘God, of course. What a disaster.’
‘He had no job, no money, so he went home. I was in Sheffield by then, but Monty told me how things were; said the house was like a tinderbox. Eventually, after an argument, he confronted them about their attitude, told them about his boyfriend, all of it.’
‘I’m guessing they weren’t supportive?’
‘Dad chucked him out. Told him never to darken their door again. Mum tried to change Dad’s mind – she was always easier on Monty than he was, even though she hated how he’dturned out, but Dad’s a very domineering man. He wouldn’t listen to her.’
Chloe sucked in a breath. ‘Butwhy? Why would he be like that?’
‘Dad hated Monty’s whole way of being. His sexuality, his personality; he was the polar opposite to Dad, who’s that cliché buttoned-up, repressed Englishman. Monty was highly strung, over-emotional; he looked like a girl, flounced about the place.’ Joel smiled. ‘He loved scarves. He really was an Oscar.’
‘I’m sure I’d have adored him,’ said Chloe. ‘Then what happened?’
‘I hated my parents for what they did, the things they said to him. They even told him to seek conversion therapy. He’d always known what they thought, but it still crushed him when Dad disowned him, he was so sensitive. I told him to come stay with me in Sheffield. I had a one-bed flat, there was just enough room for two and fuck lockdown. But he wanted to stay down south to be near his boyfriend. Luke.’ His expression darkened. ‘Bloody Luke.’
‘You didn’t like him?’
‘Never met him. But it was a pretty one-sided relationship; Luke messed him about, slept with other guys. He didn’t want Monty moving in; Luke wasn’t nice. So Monty got a room in a hostel. He wouldn’t ask any of his other friends to put him up because of lockdown. It must’ve been so miserable for him, stuck in a London hostel. We messaged every day. But then …’ He trailed off and squeezed Chloe harder.
She kissed his head, stroked his hair. ‘What happened?’
‘He stopped messaging; wasn’t answering his phone. I was worried, so I contacted Luke. It turned out they’d had a proper bust up; Luke said Monty was “too needy” and had finished with him. And Monty had run out of money. He was too proud to askme for more; I’d already bunged him a few hundred. He spent quite a lot on … well. He liked to get high.’
