Page 1 of Ocean's Lost Octopus
Chapter One
Ocean
It had been the world’s longest day. Between international Zoom calls beginning at four in the morning, a board meeting that took three hours, and closing up with yet more international Zoom calls, I wasput a fork in medone.
Most days, I enjoyed being vice president of my division. I was able to lead the company forward and make the hard decisions instead of crossing my fingers others would make the right call. Leading my division was my strength, and I leaned into it.
But then there were days like today when it was just meeting after meeting after meeting, and I was so exhausted I wanted to go home and go to sleep…which was easier said than done.
When I was this worked up, what I really wanted was to go home, have my daddy take care of me, and fall asleep in his arms as he read me a bedtime story. But my daddy had left a long time ago. He wanted someone to stay home to take care of the cooking and the cleaning, and then, when he got back, fall into their “little” space and let him be the caregiver. Basically, he wanted a stay-at-home husband by day and little by night. I wasn’t opposed to that kind of lifestyle, if that’s what someone wanted, but it wasn’t what I longed for. It would have been nice if he had told me before we were two years into the relationship and he already had someone else waiting in the wings. In the three years since he got married and created his perfect family, I’d been daddy-less.
At first, I thought it would be fine. I could be little at home and, when the right daddy came along, we could give things a go. Only no daddy came, and the pressure at work kept on growing. I needed time to pass all my stress on to someone else and totrust them completely to take care of me. That was a need that wasn’t being met.
Out of desperation, I tried a daddy app to see if I could find someone compatible. I didn’t. Most of the daddies I’d been paired with weren’t even really interested in the lifestyle…they were just bored. I wasn’t sure what I did on my profile to attract the men who liked the idea of role-playing online but not real-life meetups. But I sure drew a lot of them to me.
I didn’t have time for that, not with my career exploding and being promoted to the position I now had. And honestly, I wasn’t there to train someone to be my daddy. Open communication, letting the person I was interested in know my preferences? I was there for that. I’d even be willing to be with a first-time daddy if we felt like we had a chance at something real. But training someone who just thought it sounded kind of cool after they went down a rabbit hole on the internet? Yeah, that wasn’t for me.
Computer shut down, I locked up my corner office door and headed down to the parking garage. Normally, when I left, I’d say goodbye to everyone, but not today because there was no one here. There hadn’t been for hours. Unlike me, they all went home or to dinner with friends or the gym or whatever they felt like doing, while I was here, tied to my own commitments and kept pretty grouchy about it.
What I needed was a “little” night, one complete with my best jams, Tennie, my stuffed octopus, and a tubby with lots and lots of bubbles.
I pulled up my schedule for the morning, and in theory, I didn’t need to be in the physical office until ten. If I stayed up too late being little, I could come in late easy peasy. It was better to go that route than to come in just as grumpy as I was now. No one likes a grumpy Ocean, especially me.
On the way home, I drove through a fast-food place to get a kid’s meal. It wasn’t my favorite restaurant. Not even close. But they had the best toys, and today, they featured some from one of my favorite cartoons. Getting the sweet bear doll felt more important than whether or not I had the best chicken nuggies in my belly.
A half an hour later, I pulled into my parking spot, glad to be home. I went straight to the elevator and headed up to my apartment. I was so close to getting exactly what I needed for the night…or at least as good as I could get.
Once upon a time, I dreamed of living in a place this nice and fancy, and in that regard, I was living my dream. But as a child, wanting that “big apartment,” as I called it, was about the place. Now, as an adult, I understood the place meant so much less than the people who lived in it. And this apartment’s occupants included me and no one else.
I set my keys on the counter and took off my suit jacket and tie, trying to figure out if it was better to eat cold food and have a nice tubby before dinner or to eat first. I opted to allow the hot sudsy water to help me sink into little space first and stuck the bag of food in the microwave.
“Hey, Tennie.” I grabbed my stuffed octopus off the counter.
I’d had him since I was so small that I named him Tennie, thinking he had ten tentacles. He did not, but I counted them incorrectly and went with it. My uncle who gave him to me thought Tennie was for tentacle and never corrected me. Now, I used it as a reminder that while I was little, I didn’t need to be right about anything. I could leave my perfectionism at work and just be.
“Wanna watch me take my tubby, Tennie?” I asked. I moved him back and forth for his version of a nod.
My bathroom was fabulous. It was one of the best parts of this place. I set him on the counter and turned on the hot water,already starting to relax. I had a huge soaking tub that allowed me to sit completely submerged up to my armpits in the water, bubbles up to my shoulders. I loved it.
I took my favorite bubble bath from the counter basket and poured some inside then got my clothes laid out on my bed for when I came out. Tonight, I was wearing my favorite jam-jams. They were covered with teeny tiny sea turtles and had a huge pocket on the left side. Why not on both? I never knew, but it was enough for me to keep Tennie in when I wanted to, and I adored that.
That was one of my favorite things about Tennie. He fit in most pockets. Not overly well in many but enough that when I needed to, I could bring him in my coat. I saved that for really bad days. It was much safer for him to stay at home.
I took off my clothes and sank inside the warm water, closing my eyes and enjoying the hug it gave. Most days, I’d play with either a sailboat or some of the rubber monsters that I’d picked up on a random business trip, but today, I just needed to relax and let the day go away. It didn’t matter that Germany wanted us to rewrite an entire contract or that the company we were working with in China decided that our bid needed to be redone in order to compete. They didn’t say who we were competing with, but they made it clear that right now, we were not going to get the next bid without those changes. All of that stress floated away with the steam, encapsulated in the bubbles. They floated to the ceiling, or I blew them off my hands…same difference.
Finally, I was good and relaxed. I climbed out, wrapped myself in my warm bathrobe, and grabbed my hairdryer. I wasn’t sure how long I’d be awake, but I wanted my hair to be dry before it hit my pillow. There was something soothing about the sound of the hairdryer as the warm air blew on my head.
I was just about ready to get my pj’s on when the alarm went off.
A responsible person would just run right out in their bathrobe. But we’d been having some issues with the alarms lately, and I knew there was a good chance I’d be outside for a while with no real issue at hand. So instead of being responsible, I grabbed a pair of pajama pants, and a T-shirt and threw them on. I shoved Tennie in my pocket and left the building, my shoes barely on as I clumped down the stairs, one flight after another after another.
At least going up, I’d be able to use the elevator, or so I told myself as I made it outside to find the entire building out there and multiple fire trucks. This was going to be a long night.
Chapter Two
Duncan
When my apartment lease was ending, I faced a quandary. Stay and pay the large increase, or try to find something anywhere near as comfortable for less than the management company was asking. So far, none of the places I’d toured were habitable, and my salary would simply not support the new monthly rental. The only other possibility was a roommate, and I had sworn not to do that ever again after the last one a few years before had been a total slob who lived like life was one long party.
