Page 75 of Keeping Guard
He was going on two nights without sleep now, and he was tired. So fucking tired.
As the sun rose over the buildings, he returned to the loft, showered, dressed, and then made another pot of coffee. Like he needed more caffeine after all he’d already consumed.
It would be another hour before Peyton stumbled out searching for coffee, and he didn’t know what to do with himself until then. The ants had stopped biting, but they were still crawling under his skin, regrouping for another attack.
Coffee in hand, and with Lucky at his heels, he went to the guest room, closing and locking the door behind him. He set the cup on the nightstand, then stood in front of the closet door for a good five minutes, his heart beating double time. He lifted his hand and opened the door.
The black guitar case mocked him as he stared at it. “You’re a coward,” the case said, or was that Dr. Meadows messing with his head?
It was his second guitar, the first a cheap one his aunt and uncle gave him the Christmas he was eleven. It was the only thing he’d asked for. This one he’d bought when he was sixteen with money he’d earned mowing yards in the summer and shoveling sidewalks in the winter. The one he’d set his sights on hadn’t been cheap. It had taken him three years to save enough to buy it. The instrument was a part of him...or it had been.
“I’m not a coward,” he murmured. Then he said it louder. “I’m not a coward.”
He picked up the case and took it to the bed, setting it next to him. Then he stared at it some more. His fingers itched to touch it, to slide over the strings, to make music. If he opened the case, would it make him happy to see the guitar, to play it, or would it send him two steps back from the little progress he’d made? He flipped the latch open, then closed.
Open. Close. Open. Close.
Lucky sat at his feet, watching him.
Open. Close. Open. Close.
The dog stood and put his paws on the bed, then put one paw over Noah’s hand.
“I’m not ready, am I?” Was that what Lucky was telling him? If he opened the case and saw death, he’d never open it again. He didn’t think he could live with that. He returned the case to the closet.
“Noah?” Peyton knocked on the door. “Are you up?”
“Yeah. I’ll be out in a minute.” He took a minute to clear his head, then walked out.
“Good morning.” She eyed him over the top of her coffee cup. “You never came to bed. Did you sleep at all?”
Not wanting to lie to her, but not wanting to admit he’d roamed the sidewalks all night, he grunted. Let her make of that what she wanted. He glanced at his watch. “You ready to go?”
“Yeah, just give me a minute. Are you okay?”
“I’m fine, Peyton. Do you have the tracker on you and still have the other one in your purse?”
She grinned. “Yep to both. I feel like I should be in a Bond movie.”
“This is serious business. You won’t be joking if your ex pulls something.”
“Well, excuse me for daring to see the amusing side of this, Mr. Grumpy Pants.” She set her half-full cup in the sink. “I’ll just get my lazy butt in gear. You know, I can walk to the brewery. It’s daylight and there are people out and about. Dalton wouldn’t pull—” she made air quotes “—somethingin broad daylight with people watching. That way, I won’t be an inconvenience.”
She kneeled in front of Lucky. “Good morning, sweet boy. You’re way more fun to talk to.”
“You’re not walking to work alone. Let’s go.” He was being an ass, but existing on too much coffee and no sleep didn’t make for a good mood. Still... “Look, I’m sorry. I just have a lot on my mind this morning. Why don’t we plan to go out tonight?”
“You mean like a date?”
“If that’s what you want to call it, sure.” He’d come back early and try to grab some sleep before picking her up.
“That’s what I want to call it. But work on your attitude before tonight, okay?”
He almost smiled. “Yes, ma’am.” It was hard to be a jerk to a princess.
Noah forced himself not to squirm in his seat while Dr. Meadows read his assignment. He’d resented having to write it, but sitting here, waiting for her verdict, all he wanted was her stamp of approval so they could either move on or he could walk out if it wasn’t good enough for her. He wasn’t sure which he was hoping for.
She glanced up at him while she was somewhere in the middle of reading it, then continued. What part was she reading, and what was that look for? He rolled his pair of dice around in the palm of his hand.
