Page 18 of Keeping Guard
“If you’re calling Dalton to come in here, I’ll leave,” she said when he picked up the desk phone receiver. This needed to be a conversation between the two of them, nor did she want him and Dalton to gang up on her.
He dropped the receiver. “Don’t you think he’s owed an explanation?”
“Yes.” She sat in the chair across from his desk. “But you and I need to talk first.” It shouldn’t hurt that he didn’t ask how she was, since he rarely did, but there it was. Would that longing to believe that he cared about her enough to show concern, even if it was only a hint that he loved her, ever go away?
From the time she’d come to live with him, she had told herself that he loved her. Of course he did. She was his daughter. She’d always made excuses for him. He hadn’t expected to have a young child dumped on him without notice, and he could have refused to take her in. Because he did, she’d always felt grateful that he’d given her a home, but there was resentment she tried to keep buried that a child shouldn’t have to feel grateful to a parent for doing the right thing.
It was a hard pill to swallow, but it was time to accept that she was simply an obligation, that he didn’t love her. Maybe he didn’t know how. She’d often wondered why he’d never married, but that wasn’t the kind of thing he would discuss with her. He was a good-looking man, and she knew he dated, but he never stayed with one woman for very long, never brought anyone home to meet his daughter.
“Explain why you ran out on your wedding, leaving Dalton standing at the alter in front of your guests. Do you know how embarrassing that was for him? For me?”
“I’m sure it was, and I’m sorry.” That wasn’t true. “You know what, I’m not sorry. I’m not in love with Dalton, but I liked him well enough. Although I think I would have eventually regretted it, I would have gone through with the wedding because it would have pleased you.”
“And the reason you didn’t?”
“I overheard him telling Ron that you promised him shares in the brewery if he married me. Those were my shares, Dad. You promised me.” The hurt that he would do that to her was still as painful as when she’d heard Dalton telling his best man why he was marrying her. How could her father do that to her?
“And the problem is? The shares will stay in the family when you and Dalton marry.”
She counted to ten, then to twenty before replying. He’d skipped right over the fact that she wasn’t in love with Dalton. Why didn’t he want her to be happy? Why did he think it was okay to promise her something, and then betray her?
“The problem is you promised me shares in the brewery, and now you want me to marry a man I don’t love and give him my shares.” Tears burned her eyes, and she willed them away. She would not cry.
“Why don’t you love me?” She hadn’t meant to ask that question even though she’d wondered all her life why she didn’t have her father’s love. The only answer she could think of was that he resented having a child dumped on him.
“Where’s all this coming from, Peyton?”
So, he wasn’t going to answer, not that she was surprised. She swallowed past the lump in her throat, and needing to leave before she cried, she stood. “I’m done here.”
As she walked to the door, she tried not to hope that he would stop her, maybe tell her that he did love her, but all she heard behind her was silence. She told herself not to look back, but she couldn’t help it.
When she was twelve, she’d walked into his home office, and he’d been staring at a photo with the saddest eyes she’d ever seen. As soon as he noticed her, he’d put the picture face down on his desk. She’d asked what he was looking at, wanting to know what was making him sad, but he’d refused to answer. Several times after that, she’d searched for the photo, never finding it.
That hurt, whatever caused it, was in his eyes now. She took a step toward him. “Dad?”
He blinked, then shifted his gaze to her. “Just go, Peyton.”
So be it. She would go because her heart couldn’t take any more of his rejections.
Noah wasn’t sure why he ended up back at the waterfall and with the dog in tow. Jack must have let go of the leash, because the damn thing had raced after him, jumping in the car when he’d opened the door.
“I met the prettiest princess, sitting right up there on top of that boulder,” he told Lucky. Had that been only yesterday? Seemed like years ago. “She was something else.” And now he was talking to a dog. Maybe he should see a therapist.
Lucky pulled against the leash, trying to get to the water. It was probably against the dog training rules to let him do what he pleased, but since for all intents and purposes, Noah was officially AWOL, what did rules matter?
He followed Lucky to the edge of the water, and both of them stared at the wedding gown still floating in the pool. Lucky growled. It did look like a ghost, just floating there, so he didn’t blame the dog for being suspicious.
Seeing the gown led his thoughts to Peyton. Was she okay? When he’d put his number in her phone, he purposely hadn’t sent it to his phone so he wouldn’t be tempted to call her. Because he knew he would be. Now he was sorry. He just wanted to know that she was all right.
Since he knew where she lived, he could stop by, tell her he was checking on her. Although, if Jack had reported him as being AWOL, the navy would soon find him, and he’d go to prison, never knowing if Peyton was safe. He didn’t even know if she was worried about being safe.
“We need to go,” he told Lucky. He had to stick around and make sure Peyton didn’t need to make a desperate phone call. Unless karma had decided not to give him a break, Jack would wait a day or two before reporting him missing. If going back meant he had to learn how to train Lucky for a brother in need—that wasn’t at all a bad thing—and if he had to haul his sorry ass to a therapist he’d refuse to talk to, then that’s what he’d do.
Why had he used that word, almost guaranteeing she wouldn’t admit she was desperate and call him, no matter how much she needed to?
He doubled-timed it up the trail with Lucky at his heels. The first place he had to go was back to Operation K-9 Brothers. He was as certain as he could be that Jack wouldn’t report him. At least, not yet, but he had to make sure.
As soon as Noah opened the door, Lucky jumped into the car, parking his butt on the passenger seat. “I guess you’re stuck with me, dog. Not sure how lucky that makes you.” Noah heard Peyton’s voice in his head admonishing him for not using the dog’s name and sighed. “I mean Lucky.”
