Page 39 of All Autumn
Yeah, it seemed that I wanted to have my cake and eat it, too, and that was kind of a surprise. Nothing was secret in Blue Ridge Valley, and if Connor was messing around with me and others, everyone would know it. After the mess with Brian I wouldn’t be able to handle being talked about again. I was going to have to address that with Connor. And it wasn’t jealousy I was feeling at the thought of him with another woman. Okay, maybe a little.
My phone buzzed with a text. Connor? I smiled as I picked it up from the nightstand, but it was Jenn wanting to know if I was free for lunch tomorrow. “And the third degree starts,” I muttered as I texted her back, agreeing to meet her.
I gave Beau his nighttime treat and then climbed into bed. By myself. What fun was that? Just as I was dozing off, my phone buzzed again. This time it was Connor texting me.
What time R U giving Sam a bath?
I laughed. Funny man. Sorry. U must have the wrong #. No Sam here.
Bummer. U need help with your bath then?
Now there was an interesting thought. R U sexting me?
Want me to?
Strangely, Brian and I had never sex texted. I wondered why. The thought of sexting with Connor sent a little thrill though me, but I wasn’t ready for that with him yet.
Put that on your wish list
It’s #1 now
Not surprised
Ha ha! See U tomorrow. Sweet dreams
Nite
It was really nice that he’d texted me, but Connor had always been thoughtful like that. I fell asleep thinking of Connor, specifically how good he kissed.
“So what’s goingon with you and Connor?”
I peered at Jenn over my menu. “Wondered how long it was going to take you to ask that.” I glanced at my watch. “Exactly forty seconds from the time we sat down.”
“You’re lucky I didn’t show up on your doorstep last night. Would have if I wasn’t sure Connor was there. Was he?”
“For a while.”
She scowled at me. “Am I going to have to drag it out of you? Start talking.”
The waitress came and took our orders, giving me a minute to consider how much to tell her. Who was I kidding? Jenn was my best friend. I’d always told her everything, and would end up doing that anyway before lunch was over.
“After making out like teenagers, he said that I needed to decide whether I still felt weird about him before we went any further,” I said after telling her everything, starting with that first kiss over a year ago.
“And do you?”
“Believe me, he kissed any feelings of weirdness right out of me.” I grinned at her. “The man can kiss.” I played with my Greek salad, moving around the little bit of lettuce still on my plate with my fork. “I . . .” I shrugged, not sure what I was trying to say.
Jenn pushed her empty plate to the side. “I hear a but.”
“He’s been my friend, our friend, since elementary school. I never thought of him that way until he kissed me the first time. Before that, Connor and Adam were like our adopted brothers.”
“So, did it feel like you were kissing your brother?”
“God, no. I’ve never been kissed like that.”
“Then what’s the problem?”
That was Jenn, digging until she got to the bottom of something, which was why I’d told her everything. Maybe she could help me understand what was holding me back. As long as Connor was kissing me, I had no reservations. I’d fallen asleep thinking about him, and I’m pretty sure there was a smile on my face as I drifted off. In the light of day, though, the doubts were there.
