Page 52 of All Autumn
Whatever had given me pause was gone, and the only thing in my mind was Autumn. All Autumn.
Much later wesprawled in my bed, me leaning on the headboard and her using my chest to pillow her back, eating macadamia nuts out of the jar and sharing a bottle of root beer.
“Can I ask you a personal question?”
Autumn handed me the jar after dumping a half dozen or so nuts into her hand. “I guess. Might not answer.”
“Fair enough.” I shook some macadamias into my palm, then set the jar on the nightstand. Maybe I shouldn’t pry into her sex life with Brian, but I wanted to know if I’d read her right. “You and Brian, your sex life was pretty vanilla, right?”
She leaned forward and peered over her shoulder at me. “Wasn’t expecting that question.”
“You don’t have to answer.” Although I wanted to know the answer. It would make a difference in how I went forward with her.
She popped the last macadamia into her mouth and then brushed the salt from her hands. I stayed quiet, listening to the crunch of the nut she was eating, waiting for her to speak. She had the sheet pulled up over her breasts, and I made it one of my goals to get her to stop hiding from me. She was gorgeous, and she shouldn’t feel shy about letting me see her. All of her.
“What made you ask that?”
After a short debate with myself, I decided to answer truthfully. “Because even though you were with Brian for a little over two years, and before that there was Paul— I assume you slept with him?”
“It that a problem for you?”
“Not at all. I’d be a hypocrite if I thought that.” She was hugging her knees now, giving me the back of her head. I put my hands on her shoulders and pulled her back against me, then wrapped my arms around her chest. “It just surprised me a little that you’re shy in bed, because in all other parts of your life you’re fearless. I guess I wondered if that’s something else I can blame on your douchebag ex.”
She shook her head, then said, “I’m sorry.”
“For what?”
“For being a lousy lay.”
“Hush. You are not a lousy lay, and that’s not even close to what I’m saying.” I was saying this all wrong if that was all she was getting out of it. “Believe me, beautiful, I’m going to thoroughly enjoy teaching you how to have fun in bed. I’m a little confused, though. The day you drove off the mountain—which took about ten years off my life, by the way—you had gone to Brian’s dealership wearing nothing but a raincoat. Did you do that for him or yourself?”
“I don’t know. At the time I thought I was doing it for him. When we were dating, before we got serious, he made a comment in passing that he’d like to bend me over his desk and . . .” She waved a hand in the air. “You know.”
What I knew was that Brian was a class A ass, and I wasn’t sure why I’d even brought him up. Or maybe I was. I was pissed that for whatever his reasons were, he’d taught Autumn that she had to hide her sexuality. “You’re a sensual woman, Autumn. Be proud of that.”
“Yeah?” She twisted to face me, keeping the sheet pulled over her breasts.
“Oh yeah.” I’d had enough of her hiding herself, so I yanked the sheet from her clutches. “You don’t need that. You’re too beautiful to be hiding yourself.” Her blush was adorable, but she didn’t try to cover herself again. Since she didn’t seem to know what to do with her hands, I linked our fingers before she decided to cross her arms over her breasts.
She stared down at our joined hands, then lifted her eyes to mine. “Maybe I wasn’t lacking something to hold his interest?”
I hadn’t planned to tell her what Brian had said to Dylan, but her thinking she was lacking anything was ridiculous. Hearing the douchebag’s opinion on fidelity might help her put those doubts to rest.
“Brian said something to Dylan shortly after you caught him cheating. I didn’t tell you before because I didn’t think you were ready to hear it, but it’s time you did.” She looked over her shoulder at me, and honest to God, I could drown in those blue eyes hanging on my every word. “I don’t remember his exact quote, but it was something along the lines of it being different for men, that a little pussy on the side didn’t mean anything.” And there was the fire I loved seeing in her eyes.
“The rat bastard. He never planned to be true to our vows despite all the things he said claiming otherwise?”
“I think that’s pretty obvious. You’re not lacking one damn thing, beautiful girl, nor are you the reason he’s a sorry excuse for a man. And before you storm off to knock down his door and beat him senseless, let me prove it to you.” I put my hands on her waist, turning her and pulling her up to straddle me. “Only one rule this time around. You’re in charge.”
There wasn’t another woman I knew or had been with who I would have pushed this hard to see for herself how desirable she was, and it was only because Autumn had been close to a lifelong friend that I cared enough to put this much effort into restoring her faith in herself.
“To hell with Brian,” she said. “I’ve got something much better right here.”
“Have at me,” I said, laughing at the unholy glee lighting up her eyes. I thought I might have created a sex-loving monster. I hoped so.
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~ Autumn ~
