Page 41 of Queen of Diamonds
“They’re a lovely couple,” Deidre said after his parents wandered away.
Rand almost snorted. “Aren’t they, though?” His parents, especially his mother, were very good at acting the loving couple when in public.
His gaze drifted back to Kinsey. She wore a black dress that hugged every delicious curve, but unlike the other women in the ballroom who were draped in diamonds and jewels, her only jewelry was a pair of silver dangling earrings and a silver comb holding one side of her hair above her ear. She was by far the most beautiful woman in the room, and she took his breath away.
It had been almost a week since he’d left her to think about them, if there was a them, and she hadn’t called. He took that to be her answer. As much as it hurt—and the thought of not seeing her hurt a lot—he couldn’t blame her.
The man she was with caught Rand watching them. Recognition flashed in his eyes, and he smirked. Holding Rand’s gaze, the man trailed his fingers down Kinsey’s arm. More than anything, Rand wanted to break those fingers.
“You should probably stop staring at them,” Deidre whispered in his ear. “You’re only encouraging him to piss you off.”
Rand sputtered a laugh. He tore his gaze away from Kinsey. “Did you just say ‘piss’?” Women of their world did not say words likepiss.
She slyly smiled. “I know even naughtier words, Rand. You’ve pegged me as a clone of women like your ex-wife, and yes, I know Olivia. I was always a little rebel, much to my parents’ chagrin.” She darted a glance at Kinsey. “If she hadn’t already stolen your heart, I think you and I could have rebelled together and had a shitload of fun doing it. But she has, and I don’t settle for second best.”
He didn’t know what to say to that, but he decided he liked her, which he hadn’t expected.
“Left you at a loss for words?” she said, amusement in her eyes. At his nod, she smirked. “I seem to have that effect on people. So, since we’re not going to burn up the sheets together after our duty here is done, what can I do to help?”
“Help?” He was starting to sound like an idiot.
“Yep. I do love happy endings, and because I believe you’re a good man, Rand Stevens, I think you should have yours. What’s the problem? It’s not that she doesn’t want you. She can’t stop sneaking peeks at you, and she doesn’t like seeing you with me. So the reason the two of you are miserable because you’re not together is…?”
“She wants children, and I don’t.” And why was he telling Deidre his personal problems?
“Ah, I see.” She slipped her arm around his and pulled him over to a side wall, away from other people. “That’s a hard problem to fix.” Sympathy softened her eyes. “I have a tendency to stick my nose in other people’s business, so forgive me if I’m stepping in where you don’t want me.”
When she paused, seeming to wait for him to tell her to either continue or shut up, he said, “And?” He wasn’t sure why or even if he wanted to hear what she had to say, but he was curious enough to listen. If he’d met her before Olivia, he thought his life might have turned out entirely different.
“I hope I’m doing the right thing here.” She glanced away, as if reconsidering, then met his gaze. “Okay, here it is. I met Olivia shortly after your divorce. A friend of mine who knew her invited her to have a girls’ night out with us. After a few apple martinis Olivia got chatty, telling us about her divorce. She blamed it on you. She told us how your daughter died, said you couldn’t get over it to the point that it was just too depressing to be around you.”
Even though he knew Olivia blamed him for that very reason, anger heated his blood. How was he supposed to get over losing his baby girl? And how had it been so easy for Olivia to do just that?
“I had to about bite my tongue off to keep from calling her a cold bitch.” She put her hand on his arm. “I’m going to share something very personal with you. I can’t have children. The reason why isn’t important, but if that gorgeous woman over there shooting daggers at me with her eyes because we’re over here in the corner and I’m touching you hadn’t already won your heart, I’d be the perfect woman for you.” She chuckled. “That was an aside, not the message I’m trying to get across.”
He couldn’t help darting a glance at Kinsey. As soon as their eyes connected, she turned her back to him. He shifted his attention back to Deidre. “I’m not connecting the dots. Are you telling me to go after her or to forget her and choose you?”
She shook her head, wrinkling her nose at him. “I already told you I don’t do second best. My point is, you knew the kind of love, a parent for a child, that I’ll never get to experience. How can you deny yourself having that kind of love and joy in your life again? Is that what your daughter would want for you?”
“I don’t—”
“I’m not finished. Quite honestly, I think you’re being selfish. To her”—she tilted her head toward Kinsey—“and to the children you’re not going to have because you’re too afraid. Stop being a coward, Rand, and go yank your woman away from that asshole. As for me, I’m going to go talk to that cute bartender.”
Stunned, Rand watched Deidre glide away. He wasn’t being selfish, and he wasn’t a coward. Was he? He slipped his hand into his pocket and touched Zoe’s necklace. For a year he hadn’t left the house without it in his pocket, as if it was a link to her. But it wasn’t. It was just a necklace, a present he hadn’t had a chance to give her.
Stop being a coward. Deidre’s accusation echoed off the walls of his brain, growing louder with each bounce. “I’ll always miss you, baby girl,” he whispered, then let go of the necklace. As his gift for Zoe fell back into his pocket, a weight lifted, from his heart and from his soul. It was the first time he believed, really and truly believed, that he wouldn’t betray his little girl by loving another child.
His gaze sought out Kinsey. She said something to the woman he’d left Kinsey’s apartment keys with, and then she walked out of the ballroom. The man Kinsey had told him was the boss’s son, the one Rand had the urge to kill, watched her leave. When she was out of sight, a look that was too cunning for Rand’s comfort crossed his face as he eased away from his group and followed her.
Kinsey puther hands on the counter and closed her eyes. It had taken every ounce of her willpower and acting ability to stay in the ballroom and pretend she wasn’t dying inside when she’d seen Rand with that woman. Whoever she was, she was stunning and everything that Kinsey wasn’t. Willowy, blonde, blue-eyed, and a flawless creamy complexion. What her mother had always called peaches and cream. When her eyes refused to stop seeking him out, she’d fled to the restroom.
Considering his date tonight and the picture she’d seen of his wife, that was obviously the type of woman he preferred. She lifted her eyes to the mirror and studied her tan skin and body that definitely wasn’t willowy. Had he only been toying with her, wanting a little taste of something different before he went back to the type of woman he preferred?
Every day for the past week she’d picked up her phone at least once an hour to call him, to tell him she wanted him no matter his conditions. Yet each time she’d paused, thinking of the children she’d never have if their relationship progressed to the point of marriage.
Seeing him tonight with another woman brought a revelation. She was in love with him. But in love enough to never hold her child in her arms? She could have him but no children or have children but not him. How was she supposed to choose between those two things?
It was too late, though, wasn’t it? As hard as she’d tried not to watch him with the woman, her eyes ignored her wishes. They’d been cozy off by themselves, touching, their heads close together while deep in conversation. It hurt to see them together like that.
