Page 11 of Queen of Diamonds
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That afternoon Randroamed around his penthouse apartment overlooking Biscayne Bay. He and Olivia had both fallen in love with the place the minute their realtor had walked them inside. They’d made an offer that same day and had moved in a month later.
He’d lived here alone for the past year and had welcomed the solitude. It was his place to hide and miss Zoe. Where he shut out the world, avoiding anyone who wanted to offer him comfort or sympathy. He didn’t want their awkward words or hugs or pats on the back. There was no comfort to be found in a world without his little girl.
But something was different today. The space felt too cold, too big for the emptiness inside him. For the first time he was lonely. He didn’t want to be lonely, much less thinking of a black-haired, smoky-eyed woman who made him want to join the living again.
For months after Zoe had died and his wife left him, he would come back to this place each night and drink himself into oblivion. At first he was able to hide the extent of his drinking, but eventually it started to affect his performance. The day Rothmire, his boss at the time, called him out on it and gave him an ultimatum—clean up his act or get out—he’d quit cold turkey. As far as his fellow agents knew, he’d dealt with his daughter’s death. It was an act, one he’d perfected. He’d never be over it.
He went into Zoe’s bedroom, something he used to do every day when he was drinking. Because being in this room—looking at her toys, the bed she’d slept in—sent an instant craving for alcohol straight to his gut, he’d avoided coming in here since getting sober. But today he needed to be close to her.
He sat heavily on her bed and buried his face in his hands. Tears burned hot in his eyes, the ache in his heart a bottomless black hole that would never heal. When the tears dried up, he lifted his head and scanned the room, his gaze pausing on Baby Belle sitting on the dresser. He stood and picked up the doll he’d given his daughter after she’d fallen in love withBeauty and the Beastand had watched it endlessly.
“You’re the best daddy in the world,” his three-year-old daughter had squealed at seeing the doll, and then she had smothered his face in kisses. He’d sat on this very bed at night, reading her stories to lull her to sleep. Olivia never had the patience to answer their daughter’s endless questions about the stories, but he’d loved that special time with Zoe. He smiled, remembering how inquisitive her mind was.
Did Piglet and Tigger live with Pooh, Daddy? Pigeons can’t really drive a bus, can they, Daddy? Can I have a cat so he can wear a hat, Daddy?
Realizing he was smiling, he reached up and touched his mouth, confirming his lips were curved up. It was the first time he’d smiled when remembering his little girl since her death.
That evening, restless in his too quiet home, he picked up his phone, and before he could talk himself out of it, he sent Kinsey a text.
R U home
He only had to wait a minute for an answer.
Yes
Can I call you
Sure
“Hey,” he said when she answered.
“Hey, yourself.”
“I was thinking about you, and …” What did he want to say? That he’d smiled for the first time when remembering Zoe and wanted to share what a miracle that was? She didn’t even know he’d had a daughter. “Just that. Have a nice evening, Kinsey.”
“Are you okay?”
It wasn’t like him to let his emotions show in his voice. “I’m fine. I shouldn’t have—”
“If you told me you had a loaded pizza . . . well, excluding olives, I might invite you over.”
He smiled. “You have something against olives?”
“Yes. And I don’t know anyone who likes anchovies, so it should be a given that those are a no, too.”
His smile grew wider. “No anchovies. I don’t get your aversion to olives, but I’m with you on the stinky fish things.”
“So, are you saying you have a loaded pizza?”
“I absolutely am.”
“Then bring that thing over. It beats the frozen dinner I was going to nuke in the microwave.”
That brought on a grimace. He’d never eaten one of those in his life. They couldn’t possibly taste much better than eating cardboard. “Text me your address. I’ll be there in an hour.” He congratulated himself on thinking to ask for her address even though he knew it.
After hanging up, he called his favorite pizza restaurant and placed an order, then took a quick shower. Dressed in cargo pants and a Polo shirt, he headed out to pick up the pizza. He also brought a bottle of wine from home. Although he no longer drank, he kept wine and beer on hand, mostly for the Gentry brothers and their wives on the occasions when they stopped by.
