Page 126 of The Last Inch Of Ice
That’s what he tells himself later, anyway. That he saw it coming and chose not to resist because Kai’s eyes were sparkling and the grass looks soft and—
They land in a heap, Kai half on top of him, both of them laughing like idiots.
“You tripped me,” Nazar accuses.
“You let me.” Kai rolls off him but stays close, lying on his back in the grass. “That was purely voluntary.”
“Was not.”
“Was too.”
They lie there for a moment, shoulder to shoulder, the sounds of the garden settling around them. Birds. The distant hum of traffic. His grandmother’s voice carrying through the open kitchen window, bossing someone about proper hand-washing technique.
“What’s wrong?” Kai asks quietly. “What are you thinking about?”
“What? Nothing. Why?”
“You didn’t have to say anything. I can tell. I know you.”
The words land with unexpected weight.I know you.Said so casually, like it’s the most obvious thing in the world.
Nazar turns on his side, propping himself up on one elbow so he can look at Kai properly. The slight upturn of his mouth. The scar on his cheekbone that Nazar has traced with his fingers so many times he could draw it from memory.
He’ll never get tired of looking at him.
“I don’t want you to go to him,” he says. The words come out low, almost a whisper. “To see him. To be alone with him, even in prison.”
Kai’s expression doesn’t change, but something shifts in his eyes. “How did you—”
“I know you were there. Last week.” Nazar swallows. “Do I want to be a controlling boyfriend? No. But I can’t help it. I don’t want you anywhere near him.”
The silence stretches. Kai keeps looking at the sky, but his hand finds Nazar’s, fingers tracing patterns across his knuckles. Gentle. Soothing.
Nazar squeezes his hand.
“I wish I didn’t go either,” Kai says finally. His voice is soft, almost lost in the garden sounds. “But he’s still my father. He always will be. It’s… complicated.”
It’s not complicated for Nazar. It’s simple. Doyle Callahan is a monster who hurt his own son and destroyed countless others. He belongs in prison, and Kai belongs as far away from him as possible.
But Nazar has to understand. Wants to understand.
“I hope you don’t listen to the nonsense he says.”
“I always listen to what other people say.” Kai’s mouth curves slightly. “That doesn’t stop me from doing the opposite later.” A pause. “I didn’t think you’d find out I went. But I wasn’t going to hide it from you. I wanted to tell you on the trip.”
Nazar’s chest tightens. The trip. Their vacation to the islands that he spent three weeks planning because he wanted to do something for Kai. Wanted to prove he could organizesomething nice, something thoughtful, something that didn’t involve hockey or violence or any of his usual methods of problem-solving.
He’s nervous about it. More nervous than he wants to admit.
Because what does Kai really see in him?
Kai, who’s colorful and complicated and has dozens of people who crave his attention. What does someone like that want with Nazar, who barely talks, who—
“Hey.” Kai finally turns to face him, propping his head on his hand. A few blades of grass stick to his cheek. “Stop spiraling. I can hear you thinking from here.”
“I’m not spiraling.”
“You absolutely are. You get this look.” Kai brushes the grass off his face. “What are you worried about?”
