Page 118 of The Last Inch Of Ice
Derek.
The name unlocks a flood of memories he’d buried so deep he’d almost forgotten they existed. A kind man at the rink when Kai was seven or eight. Sad eyes but a gentle smile. The only adult at his father’s stadium who’d treated him like a person instead of an asset.
Who’d shown him how to tape a stick properly. Who’d snuck him hot chocolate from the staff room when his father left him waiting for hours in the cold.
The one who’d just… disappeared one day. And when little Kai had asked where Derek went, his father had said “he doesn’t work here anymore” in a tone that made it clear the subject was closed.
Kai takes Nazar’s face in his hands now, his thumbs tracing the hard lines of his jaw. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t know—I never knew what happened to him. My father never told me anything. I was just a kid and suddenly Derek was gone and no one would explain why.”
“It’s not your fault.” Nazar’s voice is firm. “None of it was your fault. You were a child.”
“But if he was teaching me—”
“Then he made that choice. Knowing the risks. Because that’s who Derek was.” Nazar’s eyes are bright with unshed tears. “He couldn’t stand by and watch someone get hurt. Especially not a kid.”
They stand there in Kai’s messy living room, holding each other’s faces, sharing grief that’s a decade old and also brand new.
“Nazar.” Kai swallows hard. “You can’t imagine what you’ve become to me. Not just in my life, but inside of me. Like you’re written into my DNA now.”
He takes a shaky breath, the words tumbling out before he can stop them. “And I’ve loved you for a long time. Because I’m apathetic, stupid romantic who falls in love with people who hate him.”
Nazar lets out a sound that’s half laugh and half sob. “Stupid romantic? Yes. One hundred percent. You hide it behind all that sarcasm and deflection, but I saw it. I always saw it.” He shakes his head. “But pathetic? Absolutely not. You’re Kaisyn Callahan. You stood up to entire stadiums. To the press. To your own father. You didn’t back down or apologize or make yourself smaller. You’re like if the Terminator had anxiety and a better fashion sense.”
A smile touches Kai’s lips, but then he scowls.
“I’m significantly more attractive than the Terminator.”
“Yeah.” A real smile breaks across Nazar’s face—rare and beautiful and transformative. “So beautiful you made me lose my goddamn mind. Fuckingcute. Made me climb a building. Made me assault my own teammate on national television.”
“That was really stupid, by the way.”
“I know.” Nazar leans in and presses a soft, lingering kiss to Kai’s neck. Right over his pulse point. “Worth it though.”
They stand there for a long moment, just breathing each other in. The anxiety that’s been eating at Kai for days dissolves.
“So,” Kai says eventually. “A serious relationship. What does that look like exactly?”
“I don’t know.” Nazar pulls back enough to look at him. “I’ve never done this before. The serious part, I mean. But I want to figure it out. With you.”
“My father—”
“Is my problem now,” Nazar repeats. “I’m working on it.”
“That’s dangerous.”
“So is loving you. I’m doing it anyway.” Nazar’s expression turns serious. “But you need to trust me. Can you do that?”
Kai thinks about it. About trust. About risk. About the fact that loving Nazar Rykov has been the most terrifying and necessary thing he’s ever done.
“Yes,” he says finally. “I can trust you.”
“Good.” Nazar kisses him again, softer this time. “Because I’m not going anywhere. You’re stuck with me now.”
“Stuck with you,” Kai repeats, testing out the words. They feel foreign and wonderful. “Like… permanently?”
“Like permanently.”
Bonifazio chooses that moment to yowl from his cat tree.
