Page 134 of Fresh Canvas
“Wait here.” Val’s fading footsteps echoed, indicating that whatever room we were in, it was large. A familiar scent accosted me, though I couldn’t place it. I heard a metallic door squeak, followed by loud, industrial-sounding switches.
The room suddenly hummed to life, mechanical machines whirring. Rows of overhead lights burned my retinae between blinks. My jaw dropped.
“A bowling alley? Youowna bowling alley?”
Val slowly approached me with his hands in his pockets and an unreadable expression. I took in the aisles of polished hardwood. Return channels vibrated, belts and pulleys in motion below the casings. I walked past Val, running my hand along the cashier’s counter, then turned back to him.
My hand flew to my mouth.
Val was standing in front of a huge, buzzing neon sign scrawled across the white brick wall behind him.
“Stella’s?” I whispered. His late wife’s name was looped in an elegant script, glowing a vibrant blue.
My mind replayed the image of Val’s bowling shoes in the back seat of his car. That first night we kissed, he had mentioned how he hadn’t played in a while and that he missed it. The recollection now took on an entirely new meaning.
My eyes grew as Val’s misted over.
He cleared his throat, hands trembling as he gestured to the bar stools lining the concession stand.
“Let’s sit over there. I’ll get you a drink.”
I watched as Val rounded the counter to an industrial sodadispenser, filling two cups with ice. He didn’t even ask before he filled mine with Diet Coke. I sat on the barstool and sipped quietly, my mind reeling like the machines in the background.
Val filled his own cup and pulled up the barstool next to me.
“I bought the place after Stel passed away.” He stared into his cup. “This is actually where we met. She was with a bunch of her friends, goofing off and being incredibly loud like always. That was Stella, alright. Life of the party. Well, she saw me with a couple of my college buddies. I had decided not to bowl, but I tagged along anyway.”
Val’s pearlescent eyes were brimming now. “She saw an opportunity to give me so much crap for it. ‘Who comes to a bowling alley and doesn’t bowl?’ She teased me in front of everybody, and before I knew it, she had me in bowling shoes and was telling me my form was terrible. Stel was something else.” A single tear slid down his olive-toned cheek.
My own tears were flowing freely, though I continued to sit in silence.
“That last day you and I spent together—” Val’s voice cracked. He took a sip of his drink, shaking his head and swallowing. “When you left my apartment, you said something Stel always used to say. That whole drugging my drink to make me chill out was kind of one of our inside jokes.”
He spared me a fleeting glance before staring at his cup again. “It… Well, it forced me back to reality.”
Val slowly turned his stool to face mine, his glossy brown eyes serious. “I realized that night that you deserved someone more than me. I knew I could never get over Stel. I mean, how could I?” He gave me a sad smile. “You deserve someonewhole,Amantha. Not a man who’s left half of himself in the past. I couldn’t do that to you.”
The long-awaited answers hit me like a punch to the gut.
Val had been trying to protect me?
From his pain and suffering?
“Val, I never needed you to get over Stella,” I said quietly. “That place in your heart is always going to be hers, and I knew that. But I had also assumed there was room for me too.” Tears dripped from my eyes like the rain outside. “I could have made you happy.”
He leaned forward, taking my hands in his. The protective warmth of them only sent another wave of pain through me.
“I know that now. Being away from you brought me clarity. It forced me to process Stella’s death in a way I couldn’t before. No matter what happens between us, I’ll always thank you for that. But…”
His thumbs traced nervous circles over the backs of my hands.
“Amantha, Idohave room for you. A piece of my heart beats entirely for you. Not Stella’s piece, butyours. You have no idea how much I’ve missed you. Each day has been torture without you.”
My heart lodged in my throat.
Val scooted his barstool closer to mine, not breaking eye contact.
I ducked my head, lifting my hand to tuck a strand of hair, but Val arrested my wrist.
