My mate wiped tears from her eyes, “I hate it. I hate this. I hate them. Everyone who knows what happened to me carries the guilt of it around with them….and when I say most Black Path members didn’t like me…. I mean it…but even they felt guilty. I was never the tool Ezra or Edward wanted me to be, and I won’t… no, I can’t be your tool to punish yourself.”
Melanie asked, “Is it really so hard to see that I love you all? I’m hurt… and bitter. I’m really freaking angry, but I love all of you. I always did. That has never changed. This would be so much easier if I didn’t love you.”
She rubbed her face, “If I could’ve just let myself hate Jason for the words I thought were his or for turning his back on me... GOSH, that would’ve made my life much easier. It would’ve made the ONE Alpha blood in my life acting like one happier…. but I never could. We are family, and I get to protect you all too.” She meant Caine Davis.
Melanie took a deep breath, “I was going to try to seek out Jason before Xander came back from his mission to explain… that I did have a wolf… that maybe we could try to build some sort of relationship again. I was going to try then before knowing all the lies.”
“Now...Now I just don’t understand this. Why do we need to keep perpetuating the cycle of hurt? Is it not enough that you know Xander was deeply hurt by what he saw? You all want to share in that type of pain? For whom? I don’t think it’s for me… which means it’s about you.”
“I’ve been used to hurt enough people in the allied packs. I’m over it. I don’t want to hurt you, I never did… and I have done many things to make sure that didn’t happen. I want to move past all this and I’m trying, but I just don’t see how hashing it all out all the time does that... it just brings everything else back out when it could just remain in the past buried where it belongs.”
Sam argued, “Ladybug, that’s not true. What happened to you does hurt us, yes. I understand that it shouldn’t have happened, but it did. I hate that more than I can express. Holding it inside and to yourself hurts you, and that’s not what we want. No one wants you to have to keep your pain locked inside you.”
My mate shrugged, “I put myself back together a long time ago.” Addison’s left eye twitched which had me raising an eyebrow. Melanie said, “I’m going for a run.” I watched my mate take off like a shot. I stood to join her, but my mom grabbed my hand.
Mom urged, “Wait, a second. Let me go talk to Melanie. I am the person here who understands how she feels. Unfuckingfortunately for us both.” I told my mom, “There is no one I nor Melanie trust more to handle this. My mate sent all those people to you that were hurting emotionally or mentally because she believed in you.” My mom smiled and popped away.
Jason sighed, “Maybe it is about us and not her. Fuck. I don’t know anymore.” My Uncle Bjourn chimed in, “Wanting to know what happened to your sister is natural. I wouldn’t advise making her feel backed into a corner though.”
“Melanie believes what she just said, and I don’t think I’m the only one who caught the undertones. My nephew’s matewilling to keep her pain inside to not hurt those she loves. I do sympathize with your position. We didn’t want that for Haley either, but you just have to let her adapt in her own time in her own way. I’m sure my little sister will suggest therapy.”
Addison sighed, “It’s more than that, but you’re not wrong King Bjourn.” Jason asked, “What do you mean, Ads?” Addison took a deep breath before explaining, “Mel didn’t always wear hoodies or things that covered her back at home. She’s only embarrassed now because she’s here.” Damn it.
Addison added, “Because she’s afraid it will hurt all of you and we all know she’s not wrong either. Melanie has always, since I met her, kept things to herself that hurt her. Especially if she thinks it will hurt someone she loves.”
“Our, and I hate calling them this, pack leadership wanted to break Mel. She always says she put herself back together; however, it’s not true. They never managed to truly break her, or she would’ve given up and given in to Trevor.”
I snarled. Oden growled, “MINE!” I replied, “I’m aware.” Addison bit her lip and smiled, “But she never gave up on hope that Jase would come back into her life. Or that she would meet her Xander because he promised her that.”
Addison winced admitting, “Mel was both terrified and excited by the possibility of him. She just didn’t have a good life in Black Path. You already know they treated her as a pack slave, but there was more to it.”
“Mel wasn’t allowed to go to school and took a hell of a beating when her GED arrived in the mail. She just dusted herself off and continued to fight for everyone but herself. Melanie needs someone to fight for her after all this time.”
Addison looked directly at me when she said it. I told her, “She has someone to do that. More than just me if I’m being honest, but Melanie absolutely has me.” Addison smiled, “Good.” She made a face then stopped talking.
I said, “You can say whatever you want to, I won’t be upset with you.” Addison replied, “Ok then. While we are at it, she won’t say anything to you, but you should talk to Mel about wanting to have her Luna Ceremony and your Mating Ceremony. I know it hurts her feelings that me, Avery, Paige, and Si have talked about those things with our mates while you haven’t yet.”
I told her, “I’ve mentioned that I want her to be my Luna and my wife.” I got hit on the back of the head with a rolling pin. I rubbed my head exclaiming, “OW!” Oden grumbled, “Why did we get hit on the back of the head? I knew she was there, but dang.”
Nana Blanch came in front of me with her arms crossed chiding me, “I know your mother didn’t raise you to think mentioning something offhand was in any way actually discussing getting married. That girl has been convinced for four years you wouldn’t want her.”
“Now, because of this hoopla witchy shenanigans you can’t mark her AND you haven’t even brought up the topic. Because I already know that tone you use. You mentioned that during intimate times. That doesn’t even kind of count. Alexander Marcus Nathan Conners, don’t make me curse!”
Nana Blanch groaned, “I swear you boys know better. I see all of you looking with that confused look on your face. I should wallop you all a good one! Melanie needs to hear that you want to plan the ceremonies. HELL, you could start planning both ceremonies and the second she shifts, and you mark her, plans are all done.”
“For the love of god, go talk to that girl and tell her you want to marry her and have a serious conversation about it. Not in the heat of the moment I want you to be my wife kind of deal. You’ve been moping around for eleven years over that girl then she’shere and you still managed to trip all over your feet. Honest to Betsy.”
I gaped as she left the room. Cassie sighed, “Alexander, have you really not talked about it?” I frowned, “I mean we are twice light bound. I’ve told Mel I want her to be my wife. To be fair, a lot of fucking shit happens every five seconds around here now.”
Cayden snorted, “He’s right.” Cassie slapped his chest and sighed, “Men. I agree with Nana Blanch.” Nana Blanch came back in, “Because I am right!” She left again after pinning me with a glare. Cassie bit her lip before saying, “You have a ring anyway.” I knew that.
Jason jumped up asking, “You do?” I snorted, “Yes, I already have a ring and have for a while. I want to marry Melanie. That is obvious. I didn’t tell you before because I thought you all were keeping her away from me. Telling you ‘hey I bought an engagement ring for your sister, who I’m pretty sure is my mate’ wouldn’t have gone over well in my mind. It’s still obvious that I want her to marry me.”
Elise whispered, “To you. Nothing about you and Ladybug has been traditional.” I threw my hands in the air shouting, “If I could mark Mel, I’d already be married to her!” I heard a gasp and turned back to see Melanie standing there with tears in her eyes.
I linked, “Oden, can she stop sneaking up on us?” My wolf grumbled, “Presence concealing mates is unfair.” What?! Melanie asked, “You would?” I popped to my mom who was behind my mate. I touched Melanie’s face assuring her, “Of course I would.” Tears spilled down her cheeks.
I emphatically stated, “I want to marry you more than I want to do most things. If you want to file for our marriage license and have a small ceremony before I can mark you, I’ll do it. I believe the humans say, ‘go to city hall and get married.’ I’ll do it.I don’t care that it’s not done. If that’s what you want, it’s what will happen.”
