Alpha Peter said, “We never saw them, and we would’ve kept them. Whenever you are ready, we would love to see them. I had T ask Levi to track the presents we sent to the fake Melanie. We want to get them back for you to have as you were always meant to.”
I whispered, “You sent me presents?” Dad replied, “We all did.” I felt the tears coursing down my cheeks. I apologized, “I’m sorry you wasted the money… and I’m sorry I didn’t know.” I held myself and my dad moved quickly to hold me. I lost it in his arms.
I cried, “I was supposed to know… I should’ve checked and I didn’t… because I was hurt… and mad.” Mom said, “You were a pup, and very bad people hurt you. They pretended to be our family and those important to you that you loved. We don’t blame for you that.”
Dad whispered, “Not even for one second do we blame you for that. I know you blame yourself, but the weight of the world isn’t on you.” It was though. I was supposed to know things like that to protect the people I loved.
I hummed, “Anyway… we were talking about saving Alpha Peter. People were against it… but people were wrong, and I was right… so… that’s a thing.” Dad snickered but it his tone in the laugh held worry to it.
This is what I get for crying on people. Freya said, “No, Pepper is worried you ignored Alpha wolves.” Well… they were wrong so… it was fine. Freya snorted, “Not exactly. His concern isn’t unfounded. Beta wolves, don’t ignore Alpha’s.” Well…this one does when they are wrong. Freya chuckled.
Alpha Peter said, “I know people were against it. I talked to my daughters in law about it when Alexander popped you outto see your friend. You still didn’t have to warn us. I would’ve preferred a nicer warning for our first communication in years.” He might have a point….since I was snarky and angry.
Alpha Peter smiled saying, “I understand why it wasn’t though, and I’m not mad about it.” I hummed, “That’s good… since I’m not sure how that apology would go… since I thought you… said… and did… things you didn’t… so it’s all weird.”
Alpha Peter told me, “I’m proud of you. I know you’ll get lectures about the disrespect you’ve shown to me, Dalton, Dane, Dakota, Christopher, Sebastian, and my dad. Cooper seemed exempt for reasons I could guess.” Well… Cooper didn’t refuse to read my appeal and I’d planned to resubmit it to him. So… that’s why.
Freya laughed, “Thunder’s guess is correct then.” That wasn’t surprising. Alpha Peter said, “That lecture about respect isn’t going to come from our family. I always told you that respect is earned. I meant that. In your shoes with the lies you were told I did not deserve your respect. I understand your anger. I just want to and hope that one day get to the place we were.”
I sighed, “You are still a man who deserves respect. You didn’t do the things I thought you did…. and even when… it wasn’t about respecting you… I respected the Alpha you were… it was just… everything was different, and I was angry… and I wanted you to love me again.”
“I thought you lied to me….I thought you lied to my parents about being my guardians if something happened to them. I thought you didn’t even want me to call you Alpha Peter because you were so mad at me you wanted me to be the only one calling you Alpha Kyle.”
“I still don’t get why that’s the hill the wanted to die on with your title. Part of me just thinks they are actually dumb of to think it’s what you went by…then I told them you went by Alpha Peter and they’d already gotten it wrong…so they ran with it. Idon’t know…the point was…It wasn’t about respect. I was angry and desperately wanted you to love me again…but I felt like you weren’t going to.
Alpha Peter said, “I will never, for even one second, stop loving you as my own.” Why did hearing that make me feel like a balm was put on my broken heart? I knew that already… logically speaking. I hummed, “I agree that you were supposed to protect me. Logically, I don’t know how you could’ve.”
“You were compelled… and eating cookies… and I feel like that is where my problem is. My heart feels like you should’ve figured it out. Because… I said the cookie lady was evil… and that the peanut butter cookies were too…but no one listened to me.”
“I don’t know how to act or what to say anymore. Everything is confusing and it hurts. It hurts being here… in this pack… and definitely in this house. I can still see it in my head. I can see where Tristan died, where I was shot, where mom died, and dad.”
“I tried…I just it wasn’t logical but whoever was mom in that illusion because I do know it was a woman now…her head was in so many pieces…I remember thinking it was ok because I was so good at jigsaw puzzles, I could make sure mom was fine by putting her back together.”
“I remember thinking it was weird mom didn’t call us pups. I remember thinking dad should’ve been down in pain and his howl was wrong. Instead of questioning those things, I felt stupid for thinking them because I lost them.”
“I fought my way to dad…and it ….went badly…which you know. We laid right there where Luna Chelsea is on the floor… and I watched his chest stop moving…everyone said they loved me…except mom…because they shot her in the head….then I woke up in Nashville.”
Mom gasped and dad snarled in anger, but I knew it wasn’t directed at me. Xander popped in, looked around, and pulledme to him. Alpha Peter said, “I think we should’ve all realized how hard being in this house was for you. You said that to me, but I thought it was about who was inside the house not what happened in the house.”
“I’m sure it does hurt being here in the pack itself since you were supposed to be here all along. This was supposed to be a safe place for you. Not a place you were taken from, and our rescue attempt was far too late. That also didn’t come from this pack.”
“We should’ve spearheaded the rescue, but we didn’t know you needed us when we should’ve. I am sorry and I always will be for that. I’d do anything to take the pain away from you. I hate what was done to you.”
“I need you to know that no matter what happened, no matter what the scenario was, if anything happened to your parents I would have welcomed you into our home and protected you with all I had. I meant it when I promised your dad to love all of you as my own if something happened to your parents.”
The small doubt I’d been carrying in my heart dropped because his sincerity was on display. I guess I did need to talk to him. I said, “I’m not explaining being in the pack right… it’s not about my safety…I feel fine here….it’s just everyone is still the same… but I’m not.”
“It’s me who changed and everyone else stayed the same. I don’t know where we go… but I believe you. It’s hard to look at people I believed said, did, and wrote things they didn’t do. We spoke on the phone, but we didn’t.”
“I still heard your voice say things to me… read the words you both wrote in letters. It’s like I have normal moments with people and I think it’s ok…then I hear it or the words fly into my head again. I’m working on it…. it’s just…”
Luna Chelsea cut in, “Hard. I can’t imagine. The things you suffered were trials you were never meant to have.” I told them,“If you want to do something for me… just don’t teach the pups to look for Selene for protection. She has those she protects, and the deserving or good ones aren’t who she looks out for.”
I let them see my sincerity, “Pups don’t need to grow up believing she’d protect them from evil when she won’t. It hurts… having your Alpha turn on you hurts… so bad… and her inaction just compounds it… it’s like the world saying you’re on your own, pup.” Alpha Peter flinched.
Freya said, “Thunder wants you to know he will never turn his back on you.” I grimaced, “I… Umm... I mean I know you didn’t… but I thought you did… and we can be on the lookout for it… but the Ring knows this process worked and it hurt us… so… just… don’t let pups think Selene will help them because she’ll easily abandon them in their worst moments and it will shatter them.”
“I was at my lowest thinking….if Selene was ever going to help me it was going to be then… because I truly believed I was going to drown if she didn’t…but nothing happened. I had been treading water for hours…but no help came for a lot long. I started to hallucinate….it was a time…the point is… just don’t let them think she’ll help them. Selene won’t.”
