Page 34 of Destined for the Devil
This was breaking me apart.
"No. That's not why. I don't know why I let you stay at first. You wereso hurt...I couldn't just kick you out. But now...I think...actually, I’m sure that…I'm in love with you. And I can't stop thinking about you, Isla. I can't stop pining for you." The words came out as a plea, and I shut my eyes, no longer able to look at her. "I just want you; I don't want anything else. Not in bed. I want you with me, forever.”
She held back her tears as I drowned in her beautiful eyes. I took a second to collect the last of my frayed nerves, telling her exactly what was on my mind and heart. “But I'm a broken man, and you need someone who can give you what you deserve. Someone who’s not a…” I almost saidkillerbut held myself back just in time. “Someone who will be able to have a normal life and family with you. Like Thomas Grant. I will just hurt you. I don't know how, but I'm sure I'm incapable of doing anything else, just hurting people."
This was the end.
How the fuck did it all fucking crumble like this? My head fell into my hands, and we both just sat there and processed our reality.
I had no idea where I found the courage to tell her I was in love with her. Something stung in my chest, probably heartbreak—for the first time in my life. When I woke up in the morning, I didn’t expect for everything to blow up this way.
Tears raced down her plump cheeks as Isla remained motionless, save for her gentle hands wiping away the waterworks.
Too much. This was all too much.
18
Stay
Isla
Roman’sconfessionwasdifficultfor him and earth-shattering for me. A different person sat in front of me—defeated and sad, nothing like the dominant and confident man I had lived with.
None of his words made sense in my head. He burned down my apartment. He killed people.
He was in love with me.
Tears poured out of my eyes unrestrained, both from this conversation and the real fear that Sergei’s words ignited inside me. It was obvious he wasn’t joking, and I wasn’t sure what was safer, staying here or going back to New York.
How could he have fallen in love with me? Why did Roman know my ex-boyfriend’s first name? How did his poor sister die? What kind of a sadistic sicko was he to watch someone burn alive? Why did he have friends like Sergei?
All these questions intertwined with each other inside my head, but all I wanted was to shove my face into a pillow and cry. Cry, cry, cry until I had no more feelings—until I was numb.
It's like I was grief-stricken. Sergei’s threat scared me, yes, but I wassad…so incredibly sad. Because I said the words:it’s best that we don’t see each other anymore.I didn't want to do that. All I wanted was to be with him forever...just like he said.
"Can we please leave? I really want to shower and just fall asleep. I’lldecide what to do tomorrow.” My request was quiet, and all I got in response was defeat in his eyes, bringing on another wave of tears to mine.
In complete silence, Roman drove me home while my mind screamed at me with all the events of the evening. Roman was in love with me.In love.That was shocking to hear. Not only because I didn’t think Roman was capable of that feeling, but also because I knew, deep down, that he wasn’t the only one feeling this way.
Still keeping quiet, he helped me out of the car and walked me to my front door, like we were on some awkward date. But my heart hammered inside me, feeling like we were on the precipice ofsomething.
"I'll have security here tonight, but we have to figure out what to do now. That was a very serious threat." We stood outside my front door, but I had no courage to look at him. I merely nodded, unsure of what to say or do. The truth was that I really didn't want him to leave; I just wanted to stay with him, be beside him...touch him...love him.
"Okay? Sleep well and call me if anything. Okay?” He double-checked. “I'll come. Anytime. Even if it’s four in the morning,” Roman added, leaning in slightly to catch my gaze, but I kept my eyes on my shoes, nodding quickly.
Fucking fuck, I just wanted him to stay, but I had no words, my mouth refusing to open to pronounce the sentence. "Okay. Good night,” he concluded and waited a second longer before slowly turning away, taking a step toward the staircase.
It was now or never—he was going to leave because I had no strength; I was too timid, too spineless! But I could move. I shoved myself forward and ran up to him, grabbing his hand and stopping him mid-step.
I was either going to explode or pass out. I couldn’t catch my breath, couldn’t ask him, couldn’t even look at him! So, he took charge. Ever so gently, he stepped back toward me, never letting me go. He waited, insilence, for me to find my voice, but only tears appeared in my eyes.
"You want me to stay?" He finally fucking said it, and relief washed over me. Refusing to show him the tears that wouldn’t go away, I quickly nodded, hoping that he would just somehow accept my now completely mute state.
And then, his arm wrapped around my shoulder, and I fell into him, my face against his chest and my body pressed against his strong frame, holding on for dear life. He held me so gently, just supporting me through my silent sobs—just like when we first met.
I wasscared.Of everything. Of Sergei, of staying by myself, of Roman leaving...of my feelings.
His large, tattooed hand made it to my chin, and without hesitation, he lifted my face to him. I dared to open my eyes and drown in his once more.
