Page 66 of Play the Game
I can feel Evan’s smile without needing to see it. “Luxury liner gets hit by a tsunami on New Year’s Day. Very appropriate.”
I smile into her hair. “Impressive disaster movie knowledge, Rhodes—you’ll fit right in. So, what do you think? Wanna come hang with us on New Year’s Eve, eat too much takeout, and fight with Noah over whether gummy candy belongs in candy popcorn?”
She wrinkles her nose, and it’s the cutest fucking thing I’ve ever seen. “Ew, that’s just blasphemy. Peanut M&Ms or nothing.”
I lean down and smack a kiss to her cheek. “I knew we were meant to be. Please come. Don’t leave me hanging with three couples and no one to kiss at midnight.”
Evan sits up so she can look at me. “I think I’d like that. And maybe after…” She trails off and looks away, almost like she’s gathering her courage. When she looks back at me, there’s an uncharacteristic uncertainty in her eyes. “Maybe I can stay?”
I tilt my head and study her, going for casual even as all the blood in my body drains to my dick at the thought of having Evan in my bed. “I don’t know, Rhodes. I’m not sure if we’re there yet.”
She rolls her eyes. “So, you can fuck me in a conference room but not in your bed? I’m fucking pregnant, Cooper. The jig is up. I have the baby currently knocking against my stomach to prove it.”
I feel the grin spread over my face. “No fucking way—she’s moving? Like, right now?”
Evan shrugs. “Yeah. I think it’s the caffeine. It happens a lot in the morning after coffee. It was just a flutter at first, and it kind of gets stronger every day. It’s super fucking weird.”
I’m asking Evan the question before my brain even has time to process it. “Can I feel?”
She frowns. “Feel what?”
“The baby. Can I feel her move?” I have no idea how she’s going to react to that, but it’s out there, so I’m in it now.
“Okay, first of all, you don’t know it’s a her, and second of all, the only way to feel is for you to put your hand on my stomach, and even then, I don’t know if you’ll feel anything. I’m only, like, twenty weeks. It might not be strong enough.”
I smile at the confusion in her voice, like she doesn’t quite know what to make of me, and I realize I like the idea of throwing this gorgeous, formidable woman just a little off her game. “I do know it’s a her, and I might not know a lot about pregnancy, but I do know where inside of you that baby lives.”
She wrinkles her nose. “You want to feel my stomach?”
Toying with the ends of her ponytail, I laugh. “I’ve had my hands on almost every inch of you. You have a problem with me touching your stomach?”
Evan furrows her brow in thought. “I guess not. Like I said, it’s really weird to have this, like, thing inside me moving around. I don’t know how to feel about it.”
I shrug, giving her some of my truth. “I don’t know how to feel about it either, but if she’s doing something in there, I think it might be cool to feel.”
Now it’s her turn to shrug. “Okay, I guess.”
Eying me just a little warily, Evan turns, sliding a little closer and unwrapping herself from the blanket. Reaching out, I slide a hand under her sweatshirt and pajama top, laying it on the smooth, warm skin of her belly. She rests a hand over mine, moving it a little to the left, and a second later, I feel it. At the soft knock against my hand, I freeze, my breath hitching as my world tips on its axis.
When it happens again, it’s like I can feel my entire being shift. My cells reorient and rearrange themselves to make me into someone entirely new. In the space of a breath and a tinybaby kick, what was theoretical becomes concrete. What was uncertain becomes sure.
I’m someone’s dad.
“Holy shit,” I whisper, tears burning my eyes. When one falls, Evan reaches up and wipes it away, staring at me like she’s never seen me before in her entire life. “That’s our baby, Ev. She’s moving. Like, really moving.”
Evan smiles, but it’s just a touch sad. “I’m glad one of us is excited about that.”
Taking my hand from her stomach, I cup her face. “Why does that make you sad?”
Evan sighs, and this time when she leans into my touch, it’s for real, like she’s taking her comfort from me, and my heart pounds at the thought. “Sometimes it feels like everyone is excited except for me. Rio texted a hundred times yesterday with pictures of baby clothes he’s buying in Miami, and Chris is getting recommendations on the best strollers from his teammates with kids. Jo was practically bouncing in her seat at the idea of being an aunt again. When you felt the baby move just now, you looked like someone handed you the entire world on a silver platter. And then there’s me. The actual mother of this baby, still trying to figure out how I feel about it.”
I lean in and press a kiss to her forehead, wanting to reassure her. Needing to. “However you feel is the right way to feel. This came out of nowhere, and as much as I hate that it has to be this way, it’s you who has to do all the hard work and heavy lifting. It’s okay not to know how to feel today. It’ll be okay not to know how to feel tomorrow or the next day, the day this baby comes into the world or any day after that. This whole thing is a mindfuck, Ev, and there’s no instruction manual for it. I can think it’s cool that I can feel the baby and also wonder how on earth we’re supposed to actually raise a kid.”
Something like relief flashes in her eyes. “You wonder that? How we’re supposed to raise a kid?”
I smile at her hopeful tone. “Every day. I never thought aboutbeing a dad. Literally never in my life did I think,Hey I think I’d love to have a bunch of kids. I wonder all the time whether I’ll be good enough for it. Whether I’ll know what to do. Whether I can be what a kid needs.”
“Oh, thank god,” Evan says, laughing a little. “I thought it was just me. You’re always so calm about everything.”
