Page 31 of Lady Controversial
‘Four years, in childbirth, at about the time when I was being pressed into considering presentation. Mama was a lot younger than Papa, who was desperate for a son. Instead, he had to make do with Jane and me, the cuckoo in his nest.’
‘He resented you?’
Isolda lifted one shoulder. ‘Surprisingly enough, no. We actually got along quite well. He adored Jane, of course, because she is so very pretty. But he understood her limitations, admired what he described as my intellect and made me promise not to hide it, despite the fact that intelligent women are generally discouraged from showing any intelligence that they may inadvertently possess. Anyway, he made me promise to look after Jane if anything happened to him, which is why I am so determined to keep her out of Lord Brooke’s clutches.’ She looked away, absently observing the shower of leaves, and frowned. ‘I was determined to do so even before I learned about his character from you. I cannot precisely say why, there is just something about him that I have never entirely trusted.’
‘You are obviously an astute judge of character.’
‘Very possibly. Anyway, Mama’s transgression, when I learned of it, explained a very great deal about Papa’s coldness towards her. I had often wondered about that. He idolised the ground she walked on and was obsessively protective of her interests. No one seeing them together could have doubted that fact, and yet he was reserved in her private company, as though disappointed or holding something of himself back from her. I could sense the tension between them.’
‘How did you learn the truth?’
‘I heard Papa and my aunt arguing about it shortly after my uncle died in a riding accident. Papa was being very cynical, saying hurtful things to my aunt when she was clearly devastated, and I wondered why.’
‘You listened to their private conversation?’
Isolda flashed a rueful smile. ‘Of course I did. It is the only way to find out anything of interest when you are an unmarried female. I swear, if one more person tries to protect my sensibilities—which by the way are non-existent—by keeping things from me then I shall not be responsible for my actions.’
Lord Finchdean chuckled and held up a hand in a gesture of surrender. ‘Believe me, I would not dare.’
‘That’s very sensible of you.’ Her smile spread into a full grin. ‘I expect you think I am extremely impolite.’
‘Not at all.’ He returned her smile with a glamorous one of his own. ‘In your situation I should not hesitate to listen at doors.’
‘I was shocked, as you can imagine, but it also explained a very great deal. For instance, my aunt had always been distant with me and yet my uncle went out of his way to embrace my company.’
‘Was your mother still alive when you overheard this conversation between your father and your aunt?’
Isolda bit her lower lip but a smile still escaped. ‘Very delicately put, my lord, since you are well aware that I did not overhear the conversation but deliberately eavesdropped. In my own defence, they had raised their voices, otherwise I would not have known they were in dispute. But no, Mama had died a few months before. I think she had always secretly been in love with my charismatic uncle, who was so very different to Papa in every respect, and he with her.’ Isolda glanced away from the earl’s compelling features. ‘No one will ever convince me that he didn’t ride deliberately recklessly on the day that he fell during a hunt and broke his neck. He had no desire to continue living in a world that no longer had Mama in it, you see.’ Isolda impatiently swiped at an errant tear. ‘So ridiculous of me to get upset, but I believe it was the most romantic of sacrifices.’
‘You are a romantic, yet you don’t desire a husband?’ he asked with a provocative elevation of one brow.
‘From my own observation of the married state, romantic love seldom plays a part in unions—and if it does, it doesn’t endure,’ Isolda replied briskly. ‘Marriages, especially those enacted in the upper echelons of society, almost always seem to be contracts between families. One requires a brood mare, or an influx of blunt, the other is anxious to be relieved of an ageing spinster.’
Lord Finchdean tutted and shook his head, a cynical smile playing about his lips. ‘Harsh,’ he remarked.
‘I do not hear you deny it.’
‘The marriage mart could better be described as a cattle market, that I will not deny.’ He chuckled. ‘Why do you imagine that those of us who can avoid it do so?’
‘And yet you have a duty to beget an heir.’
A slow, somnolent smile graced his features. ‘What a charming prospect,’ he remarked.
‘Oh do be serious!’ Isolda was aware that her cheeks were flaming and regretted her inability to project a more mature image in her interaction with this most compelling of men. Instead she had found herself blushing like an outraged spinster at the first risqué exchange between them. ‘What I meant to imply was sympathy for your situation. Not that you deserve it. With privilege comes responsibility, a situation of which I’m sure you are well aware. I, on the other hand, can please myself. No one is the least little bit interested in my affairs, which is a blessing.’
‘There you are quite wrong,’ Lord Finchdean replied, so quietly that Isolda almost missed the words. She assumed it was a case of the gentlemanly conduct that had been imbued into him since the cradle coming to the fore, but could think of no way to respond to such an obscure compliment.
‘Well anyway, now you know why it would be impossible for me to live with my aunt. She would not miss an opportunity to punish me for a situation over which I had no control.’
‘Your sister is not aware of the circumstances of your birth?’
‘Oh good heavens no, and my aunt is unaware that I know, which is exactly the way I want it to remain. I tackled Papa on the subject shortly after I learned the facts. I felt I had a right to know all the particulars.’
‘That was brave.’
‘Actually, he reacted far better than I had supposed would be the case. He told me that he had wanted me to know but Mama had advised against it. There was nothing for me to gain from being aware that I had been born out of wedlock. She apparently insisted, and felt that it would make things even more awkward for me in my dealings with my aunt.’ Isolda offered up a wry smile. ‘How right she was about that. I have not been able to behave naturally in front of her since I discovered the truth.’
‘How did your mother come to have an affair with her sister’s husband?’ he asked, keeping any condemnation he felt out of his voice.
