Page 28 of A Sense of Turmoil
‘Very well. But try not to tax your strength.’
The old lady harrumphed and then closed her eyes, feigning sleep.
Flora left the countess’s room with Luke.
‘I had no idea she had fallen so low,’ Luke said, looking stricken.
‘She is actually a little better today. As long as we can keep her lungs clear, which I have managed to do thus far, she has a chance.’
‘But coming down…’
‘You know as well as I do that nothing on this earth will stop her once her mind is made up. Better to let her have her way rather than to sap her strength by arguing with her.’
Luke touched Flora’s forearm, sending spirals of awareness ricocheting through her body. ‘What would we do without you?’ he asked softly, fixing her with a probing look that made her shudder and forced her to look away from him. She absolutely didn’t want him to see the need in her expression—an automatic reaction to his empathy over which she had absolutely no control. It was better when he was distant with her. It reminded her of her place and stopped her from getting carried away by unrealistic fantasies. ‘If you had not come, we all know she wouldn’t have lasted as long as she has or been as comfortable in her declining years. We are grateful to you beyond words.’
Flora waved his gratitude aside. ‘You pay me to care for her. Besides, I am inordinately fond of her ladyship.’
‘And she of you, which is partly what has kept her going, I am absolutely sure of it. You are not afraid of her and don’t allow her to shock you.’
‘Actually, she often shocks and surprises me, but I know better than to let it show. I learned to keep my reactions in check as a child, mainly because they were seldom the ones that were expected of me and I preferred to avoid being punished.’
Luke smiled. ‘It’s not easy being so independently-minded. Especially not for a female, I would imagine.’
They both fell silent, standing far too close to one another in the corridor. Flora was conscious of her own erratic breathing and Luke’s enticing proximity. All the reasons why she couldn’t possibly have a future with this highly desirable man fled from her mind as she breathed in his unique masculine aroma, wanting him like she had never wanted anything more desperately in her entire life. She yearned for him, body and soul. He lifted a hand, gently touched her cheek and as quickly dropped that hand again.
‘I look forward to seeing you at dinner,’ he said in an acerbic tone that effectively broke the mood, and strode off down the corridor without turning back.
Flora wondered what she had done to alter the mood and cause him to become so distant with her again. But she had no time to dwell upon his idiosyncrasies and made her way back to the countess’s rooms. She spent an hour reading aloud to her, after which the countess shooed her away.
‘Go and make yourself fit to be seen and come back for me in an hour,’ she decreed.
‘You are still determined to go down?’
‘Anyone would think that I was no longer welcome in my own dining room,’ the countess complained. ‘It is still mine, until that silly boy decides to marry.’
‘We all worry about you, as well you know.’
‘So you would all have me think, but I know better.’
‘Of course you do!’
Flora smiled as she scampered off to her room, where she dithered about which of her many evening gowns to wear. She owned more than she had ever expected to, thanks to the countess’s generosity, and considerably more than she would have any need for once she lived alone. All the more reason to enjoy wearing them while she had the opportunity, she decided, settling upon the green muslin that eschewed the fashion for tiered bustles and instead sported a full train that flared from a twisted knot of flowers fashioned at the back of her waist and billowed behind her, skimming the floor as she walked.
Sandwell was not sent to help her dress on this occasion, but Flora managed on her own well enough, even if she couldn’t match Sandwell’s skill with her hair. She went back for the countess within the hour and helped her to negotiate the stairs. She had been told that apart from Archie and the Flemings, only Henry and his wife Louise would be joining the rest of the family.
Flora was glad. Much as she enjoyed the company of the rest of Luke’s siblings, large gatherings were especially tiring for her charge, who felt compelled to behave outlandishly for reasons that Flora failed to fully grasp. She had asked the countess about her need to make an exhibition of herself once, not expecting a rational response. But the countess had surprised her by saying that getting old tended to make one invisible and since she disliked being ignored, she found ever more inventive ways to remind her family that she was still very much alive.
‘Grandmamma!’ Mary ran up to her as soon as they entered the drawing room. ‘We have just received word that Miranda was safely delivered of a son earlier today. Isn’t that wonderful? You are now a great-grandmother twice over.’
‘Oh aye,’ the countess responded as Flora guided her to her favourite chair. She lowered herself into it with a heavy sigh. ‘Life goes on.’
‘I intend to call tomorrow and make the acquaintance of the new arrival,’ Mary continued. ‘I shall tell you all about him. I don’t think they have agreed upon a name yet. Do you have any suggestions?’
Flora was conscious of George Fleming watching her intently from the other side of the room. Ottilie sat demurely beside him, outwardly calm and looking exceedingly pretty, but Flora wondered if she was the only person in the room who could sense the young woman’s nervousness.
‘Grandmamma,’ Luke said, stepping forward and then leaning over to kiss the countess’s brow. ‘Allow me to introduce our guests.’
George and Ottilie stood up and joined Luke as he did the honours. George smiled and said how glad he was to make her acquaintance. Ottilie curtsied and behaved with becoming decorum. The selfish side of Flora’s character—a side that her father insisted existed and had been determined to expunge—wanted to dislike and mistrust the woman in the modish gown who had taken her place in Luke’s affections. But she could not. Despite Remus’s warning, she could find nothing to disapprove of in Ottilie’s conduct, other than the fact that she clearly had her sights set on Luke. She gave herself away with the sideways glances she frequently sent his way. But then why should she not? It was Luke who had invited her to stay in his house, so she had every reason to suppose that her feelings might be reciprocated. Besides, Flora reminded herself, she wassuitable,her family connections entirely respectable.Whatever objections Remus had to the girl had yet to make themselves apparent to Flora.
