Page 60 of A Sense of Turmoil
‘He is yours. Naturally, you must take him with you.’
‘No. I never agreed to accept him.’
Luke sighed and looked away from her. ‘It hardly matters now. I will not take any money from you, so if you are attached to the beast then you will just have to swallow your pride and accept him.’
‘Why are you being difficult?’ she asked softly. ‘Can we not put our differences behind us and part as friends.’
‘I have never wanted you as a friend, Flora,’ he said, not looking at her but sounding tormented.
She didn’t pretend not to understand him. ‘You shouldn’t say things like that to me,’ she replied. ‘It serves no purpose.’
‘No, it probably does not.’ He let out another long sigh. ‘I will have Amethyst sent down to you tomorrow, and Mabel as well.’
Flora gasped. ‘No!’
‘Yes. I have no need of the cob. I only acquired her to pull the gig for Grandmamma’s companion and I no longer have the need for one of those. But I dare say you will need a gig for transportation.’ He leaned forward and fixed her with an appealing look. ‘Let me do that much for you. God alone knows, it is less than you deserve.’
Flora capitulated with good grace because she knew he wouldn’t change his stance, and because she sensed his need to be generous. The tension in the room was palpable. Flora briefly closed her eyes, wishing she could turn back time. Wishing she had kept her second-sight to herself. Wishing so many things. But it was too late for regrets. This complex man who touched her soul in so many ways would never be hers now, and prolonging this interlude served no purpose.
‘Thank you,’ she said softly. She leaned forward impulsively, placed a chaste kiss on his cheek and quickly stood up. ‘Have a happy life, Luke. I doubt whether we shall ever speak to one another alone again but I want you to know that I appreciate all you have done for me. More than you will ever know.’
He stood too, and looked as though he intended to reach for her, but she slipped out of his grasp. If he touched her, she wouldn’t be able to find the strength to push him away. She ruffled Romulus’s ears and left the room almost at a run, before he saw the tears that were streaming down her face. He called after her but she didn’t turn back, instead running up the stairs to her own chamber. A room that she would sleep in for the last time that night.
Luke appeared at dinner that evening. Charlie and Henry were there too with their wives, all of them full of questions about Flora’s new home. Luke sat at the head of the table, sombre in his dark mourning attire, watching her constantly but saying little. Their gazes clashed from time to time, and on each occasion that they did, Flora died a little more inside. But she shook off her gloomy mood and retired that night with her head full of plans for her new home.
She could do this. She would survive. Her only concern now was interference from her family, but she wouldn’t borrow trouble and would deal with the problem when it arose.
‘A new beginning,’ she told Zeus, who curled up on her bed and purred in loud agreement.
Chapter Seventeen
Flora left Beranger Court for the last time the following morning with her possessions carefully packed in the trunk of Luke’s carriage and Zeus on the seat beside her. Paul and Mary stood on the gravel, waving her off. Mary kept dabbing at her eyes with the corner of her handkerchief. Luke didn’t put in an appearance, but she sensed him, standing at his library window as he so often did, an aura of sadness enveloping him.
‘Goodbye, my love,’ she whispered softly.
Flora then turned her face into the wind as the carriage picked up speed, determined to remain positive and look forward, rather than dwelling upon the past. She was both excited and apprehensive as she contemplated the enormous step she had decided to take. Vowing to live alone was one thing, but actually embarking upon a life as a single unmarried female and risking either being shunned or exploited was entirely another. But she had found the strength to defy her father and break away from his control. Making a new life for herself alone in a respectable village might raise a few eyebrows, but was nothing in comparison.
Her conflicting thoughts and emotional turmoil kept her distracted and before she knew it the conveyance had come to a halt in front of Fox Hollow. A round woman wearing an enveloping apron raised a hand in greeting. Her plump cheeks, the wisps of curly brown hair that escaped from her bun and the aroma of freshly baked bread clinging to her person gave her occupation away.
A man of about forty stood at her side, cap deferentially removed, calloused hands a testament to the fact that he was no stranger to hard work. He fixed Flora with an assessing look, but she didn’t sense any malice about him. He was merely curious. A young and very pretty woman with blonde hair pulled back behind a maid’s cap and wide, apprehensive eyes completed the contingent of servants that had been engaged to care for her and her property.
Flora felt inclined to pinch herself at this very visual reminder that she was now a woman of consequence and that these people’s wellbeing was her responsibility. Part of her wanted to tell Luke’s coachman that she had made a massive error of judgement and ask him to return her to the safety of Beranger Court. But of course that was impossible.
Such thoughts strengthened Flora’s resolve, and when Mr Renshaw stepped from the house and offered her a hand down from the carriage she was in command of her emotions once again. She straightened her shoulders, brushed the creases from her skirts and alighted from the conveyance. Flora was well aware of the hurdles she had yet to surmount if she was to be taken seriously, and cognisant of the value of first impressions.
‘Welcome to your new home, Miss Latimer,’ Mr Renfrew said, eyeing Zeus with some trepidation as the white cat stalked regally around the driveway, inspecting his new domain with a twitching tail. ‘Allow me to introduce the staff I took the liberty of engaging on your behalf, as requested by Mr Elliot. Beatrice and Will Harker are a respectable married couple, who come with excellent references. Beatrice, I can personally attest, is an excellent cook and Will…well, he can do anything with horses and turn his hand to gardening and all the heavy outdoor work. They will live in the apartment over the barn, if that suits you.’
‘Perfectly,’ Flora said, smiling at the couple. Beatrice beamed right back at her and bobbed a curtsey.
‘It’s a right pleasure to meet you, miss,’ she said. ‘And I hope you’ll find our service satisfactory.’
‘I am perfectly sure that I shall.’
‘And this here is Polly Sewell, maid of all work. But I’ll let her explain her circumstances for herself once you’re settled.’
Polly curtsied too and gave Flora a shy smile.
‘Come on, Will,’ Beatrice said. ‘Don’t keep the young lady standing about. Get her bags and take them upstairs so Polly can unpack them. You come right on in, miss. I dare say you could do with a cup of tea and a slice of my lard cake made fresh this morning in anticipation of your arrival.’
