Page 50 of A Sense of Turmoil
But she could see that her words hadn’t registered. He stood also and ran a hand through his hair, looking angry and conflicted. Romulus looked between them and whined, sensing the atmosphere.
‘George warned me the other day that I had treated you too leniently. That I had engendered expectations—’
‘You think I have expectations?’ She shook her head slowly. ‘You overestimate your charms and my ambitions, Luke. I am not looking for a husband, and if I was, I would not aim so high. I shall leave here when…’ She swallowed down her anguish at the prospect of the countess’s death and the loss of Luke’s friendship. She could never forgive him for that accusation. ‘I shall leave when I am no longer needed and you will never see me again. But beware of George, he does not have your best interests at heart.’
‘Rubbish! I have known him for a lot longer than I have known you. His father gave exemplary service and I trust George’s judgement. He told me that you embarrassed him at table the other night because you disliked my interest in his sister.’
Flora’s mouth fell open. ‘He said what?’
‘He is a gentleman, Flora. I can understand why he would find you interesting, but he would not overstep the mark, certainly not when seated at my dining table. Not at all, with a lady of your standing.’
Flora felt the anger at this unjust accusation swelling up inside of her and knew she had to leave the room before she said something that she would later regret. ‘I shall not bother to dignify that remark with a reprisal if you feel you can believe me capable of such deceit.’ She shook her head, feeling sad and disillusioned. ‘I thought you understood my character better than that,’ she said softly. ‘You disappoint me, Luke.’
‘I’m sorry, Flora.’ He looked anguished. ‘I wish I could take those words back. I am not myself at the moment. But my father and George’s were so close that I cannot suspect George or Ottilie of being dishonest. It would be akin to losing all respect for my father.’
‘It’s a good deal easier to lose respect for me, I’m quite sure. And I for you, come to that.’
‘No, that’s not what I meant.’
He tore a hand through his hair. Flora had never seen him so distraught. She knew how highly he had respected his father; how hard he tried to live up to his legacy, but Flora wondered, not for the first time, if that legacy was flawed.
‘Perhaps your father was not the paragon of virtue that you obviously believed him to be,’ she said softly.
Luke gasped. ‘How dare you suggest—’
‘I am not suggesting anything,’ she replied. ‘I came here with good intentions of putting you on your guard. I was aware that you would very probably dismiss my claims as unfounded, but I was worried enough about you to give it a try.’ She ruffled Romulus’s ears and turned towards the door. ‘Send the cable to Sam, Luke.’
She sensed the anger draining out of him as quickly as it had arrived. ‘Flora,’ he said. ‘Don’t go, we need to talk this through. I don’t want to see our friendship destroyed like this.’
But Flora couldn’t trust herself to stay. ‘You will never believe me, so ask yourself this. If, as you suggest, I am jealous of your interest in Ottilie, how can I be so sure that she has a head cold?’
Leaving the question hanging in the air between them, she quietly left the room.
Chapter Fourteen
Luke felt close to despair as he watched Flora walk from the room, shrouded in dignity that failed to contain her anger. Part of him wanted to call her back and apologise for the accusations he had thrown at her. Accusations that were beneath him.
He slumped into a chair and ran both hands through his hair, at a loss to explain her ability to rouse him to such heights of anger that he struck out blindly with words deliberately designed to wound. He had gone too far by accusing her of jealousy. It was presumptuous of him. He knew it the moment the words passed his lips, but it had been too late to recall them.
Because he harboured such conflicting feelings for her, it didn’t follow that they were necessarily reciprocated. It was possible for members of the opposites sex to enjoy an intimate friendship without engendering unrealistic expectations, was it not? Luke shook his head, no longer sure. Flora constantly reminded him that she was a servant in his household, but he had never treated her as such, so if she had developed expectations, perhaps he was at fault for encouraging them. Besides, would such feelings bethatunrealistic? She was the daughter of a highly respected senior cleric and society’s social divide was no longer so strictly regimented. Perhaps it was he who was guilty of being too set in his ways.
Luke felt a headache threatening as he tried to untangle his jumbled emotions. Damn it, the woman had the ability to make him forget his own name!
‘Well,’ he told Romulus, who had flattened his ears against his head, disturbed by the angry words he was unaccustomed to hearing his two favourite people exchanging, ‘she will have no expectations now, and heartily dislikes me. I did not behave well and I have spoiled whatever it was that we once had.’
But it would be gone anyway once he married. It would be unfair to any wife for him to continue to have such a close friendship with another woman.You could marry her.Luke recalled the promise he had made to his father and ignored the compelling suggestion raised by his sub-conscious. Flora seemed intent upon leaving Beranger Court when his grandmother passed on. The thought of letting her go cut to the quick, but short of marrying her himself, he could see no alternative.
Their recent exchange had opened his eyes to the stark reality he had been trying to ignore. Luke’s first thought was that she had spoken out of jealousy, perhaps because that was easier than accepting that she had turned to her supposed second-sight for guidance. He exhaled long and hard, telling himself that she had miscalculated badly this time, since he had seen the accounts in Boston and knew they were perfectly in order. He recalled as well that she had implied his father had been less than up to the mark.
Luke seethed at an insult that ought to see her dismissed without a reference. Even so, the rational side of his brain reminded him that her comments had echoed similar implications made recently by both Archie and Paul, two men whom he trusted more than anyone else in the world.
Even so, for Flora to criticise one of the finest men ever to draw breath—a man she had never met—when he was six-feet under and unable to defend himself was quite simply beyond the pale. Such thoughts hailed the swift return of Luke’s anger. He would send a cable to Sam later today and have him go through the books in detail, just to prove to Flora and himself that she had got it entirely wrong. That would make him feel more justified in what he was about to do. What he had delayed doing for too long.
He left his desk, telling Romulus to stay when he leapt to his feet, ready to follow him. Ottilie bravely tried to disguise the fact that she was afraid of Romulus. For a person unaccustomed to domesticated dogs, Romulus was large and fierce-enough looking to appear terrifying, despite the fact that he was no threat to anything larger than local wildlife. It would be better if he remained here for now. She would grow accustomed to the mutt in due course.
He found Ottilie alone in the small parlour at the back of the house, gazing out of the window instead of reading the book that was open on her lap. She glanced over her shoulder when he opened the door and looked surprised to see him.
‘I hope I am not disturbing you.’
