Page 52 of Verses and Blooms
I narrowed my eyes. “Let’s not downplay our successes. I think it’s fantastic that you’re embracing this and trying something new. And, we both know that you remembered that brownies are one of my favorite things.”
“Anything chocolate, right?” he teased with a grin.
“Exactly,” I confirmed with a smile, swiping my finger in the batter and tasting it. I hummed in appreciation and ignored his protests about raw eggs. If they couldn’t take me out, eggs wouldn't stand a chance.
“What’s something you’ve always wanted to do?” Rydell asked me as I stepped back to give him room to work. I could tell he needed something to take a little of the attention off of himself.
“Play my music,” I admitted. “It’s always been viewed as more of a hobby. My parents, at one point, tried to turn it into an obligation. I shut that shit down fast. My music was mine and mine alone, and I refused to change that. Especially for their supposed bragging rights.”
“What would you want to do with your music? Teach? Play for money?” Kane asked.
We already went through a heat together, but were still learning small things about each other. Everything about us was unconventional but I found comfort in that. It meant we did this on our terms and no one else’s.
“I never wanted to perform. I like the quiet emotions that music helps you experience. Those quiet moments where the whole world melts away, except for the melody, the feel of the bow sliding across the strings, and the meaning it conveys.”
“Then that’s what you should do,” Rydell said firmly. “Play music.”
“I can’t just sit at home and write songs and do nothing with it. I should work, help out the pack. Then again, that’s the other issue. Who’s going to hire a bunch of people that just came out of a facility like ARC?”
“You’re borrowing trouble,” Kane reminded me again, raising an eyebrow at me until I let out a breath and didn’t try to argue. “For one, you could write songs. We could even set up a recording room so you could record your music if you decide to share it with the world. Between the soulful edge to your voice and the melodies you play, people would love it. You could even record videos and start your own page where people can watch and download your music.”
“Would I have to show my face?” I questioned, letting his idea take hold. Maybe if I turned it into more than a hobby I wouldn’t feel quite as bad about not getting a ‘normal’ job.
Kane grinned, lighting up as an idea struck him. “You could go full artistic with it. We could set up the lighting perfectly so it’s dark and moody, with a single light shining on you in the center. They’d only see the back of your head while you play. You’d never have to face them.”
I could picture it perfectly, just as he described it. It would keep the same vibes as when I played in my dark corner of the conservatory. That place held significance now. It was where I connected to my pack and where I worked through some of my darker emotions.
The place I found myself again.
“I’ve written my own music before, and I used to sing with my grandmother. Maybe it’s time to explore that more.”
I could feel the excitement take hold at the idea. It was something to look forward to while we fought our way out of ARC.
“And what about you, brother?” Rydell asked, turning to Kane. “Something with your art?”
Kane shrugged. “I don’t think so. Art for me… it’s private. I wouldn’t mind displaying it, but I think—” He shook his head and stopped himself from saying more. “No, nevermind.”
“Don’t do that,” I cut in, calling him out just like he called me out. “We aren’t borrowing trouble. Let us hear your idea before you dismiss it.”
He chuckled. “You’ve got me there. I think I’d like to open up a tea shop. Somewhere I could paint my own artwork and decorate it exactly how I want. Tons of glass jars lined with ingredients, making custom blends and brewing steaming mugs of it up to brighten people’s days. I’d talk to so many people and hear their stories and just experience life in a way that would bring me peace.”
“That sounds perfect,” I said with a smile. I could already picture him with his apothecary of teas. It fit my beta so well.
“So, big bad alpha,” Kane teased, raising an eyebrow. “Aside from learning to bake, what do you think you’ll do when we have freedom again?”
“If I don’t have to choose between pack life and a job, I think I’d choose to open up a tattoo shop. After everything they didfor us, I thought I’d want to work with the Alliance. They’re the reason we found our omega, but I’m not sure I’d like the violence of it all. It makes me feel less in control and like I’m fulfilling all those shitty stereotypes. Plus, tattooing has always been my dream. I’m out of practice but if we have time to settle, I could get back to where I was before.”
“Our gentle giant,” Kane said fondly. “I think that you should work on that again. You’ve put in the effort and just because you had a forced hiatus doesn't mean you can’t hone that skill again.”
“Maybe I will,” Rydell said but didn’t look convinced. I hated that they’d built an insecurity in him he never deserved. “Unfortunately, a lot of my future doesn’t rely on what I’m capable of, or how I truly feel. I still havemonster status, remember?”
“Fuck that,” I growled. “I’m so fucking tired of hearing that. Monster status, my ass.”
“You may have to fight a little harder than the rest of us,” Kane said, “but keep showing this side of yourself. Embrace it. Talk in therapy, and I have a feeling you’ll convince them to let you go.”
Footsteps echoed in the hallway, and I was surprised to see Ansel and Ledger joking about something, laughing freely as they walked in.
“No, I’m just saying fantasy has always been better than reality,” Ansel said.
