Page 48 of Verses and Blooms
And they wanted me to give that up?
“Oh my god! Lilly!” I gasped, sitting up too quickly, head spinning in response. My body was a bit more fragile than I realized.
“Hey, it’s okay,” Caspian soothed, pulling me closer again. “Ares got me in contact with my sister. She’s waiting to tell Lilly until we’re in a better place. It would’ve been too hard on Lilly to see me and then for me to disappear again.”
I swallowed hard as guilt threatened to overtake me. “You should’ve been with her, not me then,” I said quietly.
“How about you just trust your alpha to know what he’s doing?” he countered gently, but firmly. “You needed me, and I needed to be here for you. We’re a new pack, and this was probably our biggest opportunity to build a bond that’s going to get us out of this mess. Sure, I could’ve stayed behind, let everyone handle it without me, and gone to my daughter. But my daughter is safe and cared for. This was where I belonged, at least for the moment.”
“I know, but—” He chuckled and put a finger to my lips.
“This is going to give us a higher chance of getting our lives back. They need to know that we’re competent and can handle the struggles of everyday life and keep the assholes who will be testing us to keep from speaking out against what happened here. I needed to get you through this heat and now we can figure out how to move forward with our families and lives. This just was another mark in our favor that we could sleep calmly under pressure and stay present, and we did that. How could they refuse now?”
I let out a shaky breath and nodded. It still felt wrong, but I knew he was right. Then I realized something else, eyes widening.
“None of us weaned off any meds, it’s been days now,” I said.
“The heat had a funny way of balancing us all, keeping us strong against the changes. We might have been a bit more exhausted this round, but we are finally all medication free. And not one of us has suffered for it.”
“Really? Kane is alright? Ansel’s anxiety?”
“Kane thrived focusing on the pack,” he said with a grin. “And Ansel has more than managed his anxiety. He might just need occasional medication for that now.”
“Wow,” I breathed out, shaking my head. “Just another reason that man was a fucking psycho.”
“Yes, and we will find him. Ares’s team has been checking in and they think he’s sticking close to the men who captured you,” Caspian admitted.
I didn’t know what to say to that. Getting my hopes up felt like the wrong move after spending half my life disappointed in humanity.
But I trusted my alpha.
“So, what happens now?” I asked.
“We’ve talked a bit about that,” he said as he tucked a loose strand of hair behind my ear and met my gaze. His honeybrown eyes were just as open as the bond, telling me I had his full attention and love right now. It was hard to wrap my mind around sometimes. Going from the girl with no one in her corner to a devoted pack was intense.
“We’re counting today as a recovery day, and we’ll tell them tonight that your heat is done so we can return. We shouldn’t have to go back until tomorrow,” he reassured me gently.
I sank back against my pillows, letting out a breath. That was something, at least. Rushing back would have ruined all the contentment this heat had given me.
“That means,” he said, tickling my side so I squirmed away, “you need to get a shower, and then we’re going to get some food and hydration in you, because that’s always a gamble during heat.”
Unlike the other guys, I realized this wasn’t his first heat experience with a partner. I paused for a moment, wondering if I should feel jealous. I sat with it for a second but none ever hit. We all had lives and different experiences before this. I’d been through things, and so had he. I couldn’t hold on to jealousy for a woman who was taken from this earth too soon. It wouldn’t do our relationship any favors.
Plus, knowing Caspian the way I do, she was a genuine and amazing person. He had a good judge of character.
Maybe that came with the territory of being a dad.
“Oh my god,” I gasped, as I processed that.
“What?” he asked, eyes widening as he sat up and patted me over like I was hurting and he could fix it.
“You’re a dad!”
He blinked, now looking at me like I’d lost my mind. “Yes… is that a problem?”
He sounded so worried that I was quick to reassure him. “No, of course not. Everything is fine, I promise. I just… I don’t know how to take care of a child. I never even got to be one.”
He chuckled. “No one ever does in the beginning. But if we’re going to be a pack, then we’ll figure it out together.”
