Later, after her body goes limp, I pull her into my chest and hold her like a lifeline.
She doesn’t pull away. She gives a soft sigh. And I don’t have the heart to ask her anything else.
I let her rest.
I run my fingers along the curve of her back. She falls asleep in my arms. I follow behind, darkness taking over.
CHAPTER SIX
Erin
I lay in his bed, tangled in his arms and sheets. I watch him sleep, mesmerized by the peaceful rise and fall of his breath. I had a plan. I came here with the fob so I could come clean and tell him everything, the whole story, every detail.
Then beg him to help me put an end to this madness.
That’s what I came here to do.
Then he knelt between my legs, and all hope for serious talk faded. I lost myself in our reunion. Then, I fell asleep.
I woke up sometime after two in the morning. I can’t go back to sleep. Now, my plan is a breakfast confession. He likes his coffee fresh and strong, and a hot cup will help the truth go down.
I hope.
I roll over onto my back and stare up at the ceiling, carefully choosing the words I will say. Even this makes me nervous. I’m giving myself a deadline. When he wakes up, that’s it. Skip the coffee. I'll tell him the truth the moment his eyes open.
I turn back to him, pressing my cheek against his shoulder.
In his sleep, he begins to murmur. Names. Whispered dark memories from his past.
And one word that strikes my heart like a dagger.
Betrayed.
The names, he says, are Carlos and Isobel. The pain in his voice breaks my heart.
Gently, I try to wake him, “Lucian?” but he shrugs me off.
As he mumbles, I brush my fingertips over the scars on his chest.
“Carlos. No. Not you. Anyone but you.”
“Isobel, you shouldn’t be here. Why are you here?”
“Betrayed. I’ve been betrayed.”
He’s having nightmares about that day. The day Carlos, his best friend in the world, turned on him, betrayed him, and caused him to endanger his men, killing them.
“Shh, Lucian. It’s okay. Everything is okay.” I run my hand over his hair, his face, his chest until he’s sleeping peacefully again, his breath coming long and even.
I stare at him, broken.
How can I tell him that I was going to do the very same to him?
A confession would cleanse me. But it would hurt him. And he’s already been hurt enough.
He can never know I betrayed him.
I think of Ryan. The way he walked into that preschool without a backward glance. Brave. Steady. Ready.