Page 58 of Corrupted Memories
My jaw works to answer but the words fall short. Would I leave? I’m not sure; I want to say yes. I fought like hell to get away from him for years. I fought like hell not to fall back in love with him. Yet everything inside me screams at the thought of being away from him. That I haven’t slept as easily over the years as I have the past few weeks with him right next to me again.
Clearing my throat, I shrug. “That’s like asking if you hadn’t forced my hand would I have gone on a date with you. We’ll never know.”
His eyes flash colder than ice. “You nearly collapsed in the bathroom the first night you saw me. You ran into the dirty streets, barefoot and in a panic. You would have run as far as you could.”
“I ran home and waited. Did I not? My brother offered to hide me again!”
He sneers. “I guess he couldn’t pass up the opportunity to use you for his gains instead. Let’s be honest, Gianna. You didn’t need the contract to come back to me. It was an easy out to put the blame on me for both Matt and Jeremy.”
My chin trembles, and I stare at him because the truthful part of that hurts. Sebastian did blackmail me with Jeremy’s job, but I could probably have fought harder about it. Matt had the reach to correct it as well, but I hesitated. I rub my hand over the ache in my chest, confronting the uncomfortable notion that I let Sebastian be the scapegoat to make my life easier. I feel like my mind is being split in two, one side torn about how I feel about Sebastian and the other how I should feel about him according to my brother.
He sighs. “Gianna,mon cœur. None of this is your fault, okay? I’m a right bastard for manipulating you back into my life, but I’m not the only one, okay? I had to enter the web that’s being spun in your life.”
I frown. “What does that mean?”
His phone chirps with a text and he glances at his watch before cursing. “I’d meant to come down here and fuck you because I missed the warmth of your body last night, but we’ve run out of time. I need to take care of one more thing, and then I’m all yours, okay?”
My eyes flicker to the tattoo peeking out from his unbuttoned shirt. “Okay.”
I should demand he stay and finish our conversation, but I want a little space. I need to wrap my head around a few things, and I can’t do that with him so close to me.
He stands, kissing my forehead before kissing me on the mouth deeply. “When I get back, we’re going to have that chat we’ve been putting off.”
Sebastian gives me one more lingering look before leaving me in the living room again with my drawings. I slump onto the couch, dragging the pencil and paper closer as I sketch the crest I’d just seen on his chest. It’s beautiful in a haunting way, like a symbol of loyalty, honor, and… death.
When the door clicks shut and the alarm beeps, I grab my phone off the kitchen counter and head to the balcony. It gives me peace to stare out over Lake Michigan, like this small corner of the world is reserved for my thoughts.
I dial my brother, nerves skittering over my skin.
“Gianna?”
My mouth dries, and my knee bounces as I will myself to speak.
“You okay?” Matt asks, panic rising in his voice.
I clear my throat. “Yeah, I’m okay.”
He falls silent, only our breathing passing between us.
I squeeze my eyes shut, bracing for the disappointment. “I won’t do it.”
“Do what?” he asks softly, almost a whisper, as if he doesn’t need the confirmation because he already knows.
“I won’t turn against him. I love him, Matt. I don’t think I ever stopped.”
“Gianna—”
“But I love you too,” I interrupt with a large sigh, and I smile weakly when I look over the water again, “and I need you both. I need you to be okay with this.”
Matt curses, and I wait for him to answer. It’s a lot to ask of him, considering all he’s done for me to avoid him over the years.
“Gianna, I promise you, you don’t know who he really is. Can you trust me on this?”
“No.” I breathe out.
“No?!” My brother’s outrage has me standing taller. I had all of last night to think about what to do with the boxes in Sebastian’s office, to think about what our future may look like, to think about how I want to fit into this world. And our small confrontation in the living room solidified my choice. I may not have the answers to all my questions, but I trust Sebastian. And while he may not say the words, Sebastian has shown me that he loves me deeply. I want to be with him more than anything.
“You don’t know him like I do,” I say, and my fingers curl around the railing. “I’ll give you time to accept it and check in with you then. I just wanted to let you know that you don’t have to worry about me. Love you.”
