Page 62 of Make Me Bleed
“AmIokay? Jesus fucking Christ, I thought you were about to just casually mention Elisedying.For fucks sake, Peris!” His eyes are wide, and I see the tear tracks down his face, and I don’t know why it just now hits me that he still cares.
But it’s evident he does.
I don’t know what to do with that.
Fuck.
I rub the back of my neck. “Yeah.”
“I mean, what the hell could be the worst phone call if it wasn’t Elise—” he cuts himself off, shaking his head, unable to say the words, and honestly, I can’t blame him. I can’t even think of Ma that way.
But I don’t know if I should tell him. I mean, at this point, I don’t really have much to lose—nothing, really. I’ve already lost it all. But he just came back, and if he knows… well.
I guess then, I’ll finally know.
Swallowing the lump of shame that still presses my throat closed, I rasp out, “My father.”
“Huh?” Abel says, distracted as he swipes at his eyes. He shakes his head and blows out a breath. “Fuck, that was intense. I’m sorry. I just… you know your mom. Anyway, you said your father?” Abel’s brows draw together the longer he thinks about what I’ve said. “I asked Elise about him before, and she was really vague…” he trails off, looking more confused, and I nod.
“Sounds like her,” I mutter, but I’m secretly really proud. Ma’s always had my back.
“Peris, what the hell is going on?”
I take a deep breath.
It’s now or never, Baxter.
I guess I’ll know if that love he claimed he felt is really true or not after this.
“My father,” I try again, and I’m forced to swallow the bile that’s rushed to my throat. I clear it and drop my head back between my shoulders to stare up at the white ceiling. At the textured pattern there because looking at that is better than seeing Abel’s eyes on me, and I honestly don’t know why I’m doing this. Truly.
It’s fucking insane.
But a part of me feels like I should have told him a long time ago. Because maybe if I did…
Fuck.
“My father…Luke,” I say instead with a sneer. “He molested me for years.” The words are surprisingly easy to get out. “He was in prison, and he called me that morning to tell me he wasgetting out.” I blow the rest out in a rush, feeling the bile rising.Come on, Peris. Just tell him the rest while you still can.
“I went to find you. Despite what had happened, I just knew I needed you, but you weregone.You left and took everything except the one fucking thing I needed to get ahold of you, and I didn’t understand then, and I still don’t understand now.” And as soon as the words leave my mouth, I’m rushing over to the sink and spewing the contents of my stomach into the basin—which thankfully just happens to be coffee.
“The nightmares…” he whispers the secret softly into the air between us, and I feel myself nod, even as my eyes burn.
Feet thud against the ground, and then, a hand is on my back. I jerk away from the stinging touch. “Don’t touch me,” I hiss before turning the tap on and rinsing my mouth.
Abel doesn’t say a word, but his touch leaves me, and I’m left cold and alone, and it hurts more than I thought it would, but it leaves my thoughts clear and less cloudy, which is what I need.
“I was molested, too,” Abel tells me, and I jerk out of my mind-warped reverie at the startling revelation of his words. They make me feel sick all over again. “And raped,” he adds. “In multiple homes I was in, but there was one that was particularly bad… with Mo,” he says.
“Mo…” I rasp, the name ringing a bell, but I can’t remember why.
“Yeah. Morana.” He smiles softly. “She’s like my sister. I did everything I could to protect her until we got separated, and I lost her.”
“What happened?”
“We got taken out of the home,” is all he says, and I nod, knowing not to push. It’s quiet between us as I distribute the now cold food, but neither of us complain as we sit at the counter and start eating slowly.
After we get about halfway through our food, I glance over at Abel, eyeing him curiously, needing to know.
