Just a sick, masochistic version of the man he made me into.
Abel Silver’s perfect vision.
Broken, lonely, and unworthy. Just as he always wanted.
CHAPTER 2
ABEL
I usedto love this version of me who stared back in the mirror… but not anymore. And I haven’t for quite some time, but there’s nothing I can do about it.
Kohl-rimmed eyes look back through the glass… gray irises glassy and cold, unseeing. I blink once and watch as my dark lashes brush against my cheekbones, long and delicate. The motion pulls me back into the moment, and I shake my head a few times, causing my spikey bangs to flop across my forehead a few times.
Blowing out a breath, I push my pink hair back, which causes it to stick up on all ends. The sight would be comical if it wasn’t the purpose of the look—freshly fucked out, even if that’s exactly what I am.
My phone buzzes loudly on the countertop, pulling me from my reverie. With a resigned sigh, I circle my neck with a few pops and pick it up, plastering on a fake smile, even as I roll my eyes at myself.
“What are you calling me for?” I answer the call softly but rudely because Lars likes a bit of a brat sometimes.
“Awe, baby, you’re going to be mean to me?” he asks quietly, his low timber vibrating through me. I fight the shiver of what it does to me.
“Like you don’t love it,” I hum, flicking my tongue along my crooked teeth, even though he can’t see it.
It’s all part of the game.
And I’m the fucking best at playing.
“Mmm,that is true.” I can just picture the way he’s dragging his thumb over his salt and pepper mustache right now, and it makes me squeeze my thighs together.
“So, why are you calling and interrupting my me-time?” I tap my tongue against the back of my teeth.
“I missed you,” he says like that explains everything.
Itskhim as I shake my head. I catch my own eyes in the mirror before turning my back on myself. My fingers curl around the lip of the counter as I fall back against it, my ass digging into the edge, and I tap my fingers listlessly.
“Missing me costs money, baby.”
He chuckles lowly. “Oh, I didn’t forget.”
I sigh loudly, making my annoyance known. “And yet…” I pull my phone away from my ear and put it on speaker phone as I check my notifications just to be sure. “My bank account is still a couple zeros short… interesting.” I feel my smirk pulling at my lips as I say it, and I know Lars can sense it too if his answering huff is any indication.
“I mustn’t forget to spoil my baby.”
I arch a pierced brow. “It’s not spoiling whenyoumissme.”
“That’s true. Give me a minute, honey.” After a minute, my phone buzzes, and my bottom lip curls inward. I don’t even need to look to know he just sent a good chunk of change—but I do anyway.
Both brows hike halfway up my forehead. “Well, well…” I drawl. “What’re you expecting for a grand, baby?”
Lars huffs softly, and the vibration travels down my spine, making me feel warm down to my core. I relish in the feeling. He’s one of my only clients that makes me feel this way, and I take every good feeling I can get.
“Video call me, honey. I want to see you for this.”
My breath hitches, and my eyes automatically flick over my shoulder to catch my own gaze in the mirror. I rove them over my appearance, making sure I look acceptable. From my bright pink mullet, the same piercings I’ve had since I was a teenager with a few new ones added, to the barbed wire choker that hasn’t left my throat since the day he put it on me—his claim over me.
I clench my jaw at the thought and shake my head, shoving the thoughts away, down deep where I try to forget they even exist.
I can’t think of him. Of us and what we were. How it changed me down to the marrow of my bones.