Page 27 of Shut Up and Jingle Me
And god help me—I kissed him back.
Snow still clings to my lashes, my breath fogging between us, but my lips are warm in a way that has nothing to do with the coffee still buzzing in my veins. He’s warm. Too warm. And for one long, out-of-control heartbeat, I wanted more.
Which is the problem.
I shouldn’t want more. Eli Starling is my athlete, my responsibility. He’s younger. He’s got this wide-open way of looking at me, as though he actuallyseesme, and I can’t remember the last time anyone did. I should shut this down before it gets complicated. Before it turns into something I can’t explain away as a mistake. And it ruins my future or his.
But I can still feel the press of his mouth against mine, sweet and insistent. The way he smiled into it, like he was just asrelieved as he was desperate. As if kissing me wasn’t something to regret, but something he’d wanted all along.
And that thought—dangerous, stupid, impossible—lodges itself in my chest, pulsing with every step I take back toward the dorms.
Yeah. I’m screwed.
By the time we reach the inside of our dorm building, my boots are soaked through and my hands ache from the cold, but none of it compares to the mess in my chest.
He stops first, turning toward me with that damn bag of pie swinging at his side. His cheeks are flushed from the wind, his hair damp with melting snow, and when his eyes catch mine, I forget how to breathe.
“So…” he says, drawing the word out, his grin tugging crooked. “Thanks for dinner. And, uh…” He licks his lips, and it’s unfair how my pulse kicks, trying to break out of my body. “For the kiss. I guess.”
I let out a rough breath. “Yeah,” I say, because anything more would betray too much.Like how I can still taste him on my tongue.
Silence stretches, but it’s not uncomfortable—just weighted. Charged. He shifts his pie bag from one hand to the other, unsure of what to do with himself, and I almost reach out.
Instead, I clear my throat. “Get your pie back to your dorm before it gets warm, Starling.” My voice comes out lower than I meant, and his grin widens as if he caught something in it.
“Yeah, Calder.” He tips his chin, eyes dancing. “See you around.”
He backs toward his hallway, still watching me, and only turns when he reaches the entrance for it. I stand there a beat longer than I should, snow melting in my hair, pulse refusing to settle.
Then I head to my side of the building, every step echoing the same truth I don’t want to admit.
This isn’t just attraction. It’s not just a kiss.
I like him.
And that’s exactly what’s going to get me in trouble.
By the time I reach my room, I’m almost thawed out, while simultaneously strung out. The door shuts behind me with a dull click, muting the echo of my boots on tile and the muffled hum of the storm outside. But it doesn’t mute the replay looping in my head of Eli’s mouth on mine, warm and insistent, that little curve of a smile he couldn’t hide even as I kissed him.
I drop the coffee cup and my beanie on the desk, strip off my coat, but it doesn’t help. My chest is still tight, buzzing with something I shouldn’t let myself feel. One kiss, and I already want more.
I’m pacing when it happens—everything goes black. The heater cuts off with a groan, my desk lamp flickers out, and the dorm falls into heavy silence broken only by the wind pressing against the windows.
“Shit.” I fumble for my phone, the glow of the screen harsh in the sudden dark. Power’s out. Campus-wide outage, probably. I wait, telling myself it’ll kick back on in a minute.
It doesn’t.
By the half-hour mark, the air has thinned with cold, creeping in around the window frame. I rub my hands together, but it’s not enough to chase away the oncoming chill.
And of course, my mind goes straight to him. Eli’s on the other side of the building, just a couple of hallways away, probably bundled in blankets, maybe holding that damn pie as if it’s a space heater. The thought makes my mouth twitch.
I shouldn’t. It’s too soon. But my thumb’s already swiping to his contact, hovering over the keyboard. The excuse forms easily, clean and casual.
Me: Do you have enough blankets to keep warm?
I hit send before I can second-guess it, heart thumping too fast for such a simple text.
The three dots appear almost instantly, as though he had his phone in hand too. My breath stalls, watching them blink.
