Page 32 of A Little Christmas 4: Teller
“I’m not saying never, Daddy. Just not yet. I’ve accomplished nothing to bring into our relationship, and until I can be your equal in some way, I’m just a dependent. I want to contribute, not just take.”
How could I tell him I didn’t care about that without hurting his feelings?
In April, after he quit his job at Bloomfield’s to work on his designs full-time, I took him to Paris. We stayed at The Ritz in Paris, and I planned an intimate dinner on the balcony of the Suite Grand Jardin after a guided tour of all the famous sights for tourists and a lovely lunch at a sidewalk café near the Eiffel Tower.
I ordered a special dinner prepared by a James Beard-awarded chef, and when it was time for me to pop the question,I reached into the pocket of my jacket for the ring. When Teller saw the red leather box, he held up his hand. “Not yet, Daddy. I’ve only been creating a fashion line for three months. I have no orders yet, so I still have work to do.”
He was right. I had agreed on New Year’s Eve to give him some time to get his sea legs under him, and I reminded myself that I hadn’t built my fortune in three months.
In July, I took Teller with me to Miami. I’d taken a business meeting there to sell one of our refurbished apartment towers so Barrett could stay in St. Louis. They were planning a wedding in October, so they were very busy.
Instead of a fancy hotel, I rented the penthouse at The Setai right on the beach. The views were spectacular. We had a private chef at our disposal, a hot tub on the wrap-around balcony, and we didn’t wear clothes a majority of the time.
We made love everywhere, and I didn’t think about how often other people had taken advantage of the privacy to do the same thing. I had to hope they had a top-notch cleaning company to disinfect everything.
One evening after dinner at a South Beach Cuban restaurant, we took off our shoes and had a walk on the beach.
“Did your meeting with that adult boutique in Clayton go well?” I wanted confirmation of what he’d mentioned on the plane down because I’d been reviewing the escrow documents for the sale of the building and might not have been one hundred percent paying attention.
“They gave me a small order for three of each of the boys’ playsets and four of each of the girls’ baby-doll dresses to see how they sell. I already had stock, so I delivered it yesterday before we left. We’ll see how it goes, I guess.” He didn’t sound hopeful.
“Yes, but it’s a start, baby boy. We all have to start somewhere.”
Teller stopped and turned to me. “I love you, but not yet. I see the bulge in your pocket, Daddy. I’m just getting started, as you just said, so please, give me a chance.”
What the hell could I do?
I didn’t propose at Barrett and Maizie’s wedding in October because, again, it was their night, but I wasn’t giving up. The day would come when I’d get my yes—I had to keep my eyes on the prize.
Teller
I pulled on the elf costume I’d made for myself to be sure it looked right. Daddy was playing Santa Claus again this year, and I wanted to be his elf, so my costume had to be perfect.
“Maizie, can you come in here, please, and help me pin the back of the shorts?”
Maizie graduated with her bachelor’s in psychology in May and was currently working as a volunteer at a battered women and children’s shelter in Eureka, about twenty miles from where she and Barrett lived.
Barrett worried that she might be hurt by a spouse or domestic partner if a woman seeking assistance was being housed at the facility, but he knew that it was something she wanted to do. He bought her a stun gun and pepper spray that he insisted she carry at all times and hired a car service—complete with a bodyguard—to be with her when she was at Meramec Valley House.
Maizie came into the third bedroom I used as a design studio with a tomato wristband with straight pins and knelt behind me, tightening the red velvet fabric of the shorts I was going to wear with a green-and-white body stocking.
“Where? They have pockets, and if you’re going to carry the ring, you need a little room. Besides, you’re going to be in public. You don’t want everyone seeing your twig and berries, do you?”
I laughed hard. Maizie had become pretty salty recently, and I wanted to get to the bottom of it. “What’s got you so sarcastic, missy?”
Maizie released a heavy sigh. “I think I’m pregnant.”
I wheeled around and stared at her. “You think or you know? Have you peed on a stick?”
This wasn’t usually something Maizie would keep from me. She had a pregnancy scare right after she started seeing Barrett, but it ended up being stress-related. She was late because of the pressure to do well in school.
Barrett had been of the “thank god” mindset when she told him, which hurt her feelings and nearly caused a breakup at the time.
“Well, I’m late, but I don’t have any pregnancy tests. I don’t want to take one while Barrett’s at home anyway, in case I am. I have to feel him out about whether he wants a baby or not. We haven’t talked about it since the scare.”
I stared into her eyes to see she was tearing up, so I hurried to undress and pull on my sweats. “I’m going to run to the store to pick up some tests. I’ll be right back.”
I grabbed the keys to the Bronco and rushed out the door. I hadn’t left the house that day because I had a lot to do, so I let myself in through the side door of the garage and opened the double door. I hurried to start the Bronco and peeled out of the driveway to go to Schnuck’s about a mile up the road.
