Page 48 of For Wrath and Redemption
Jonah scoffs a derisive laugh. It’s not a confirmation, but it’s not a denial, either. His jaw pops and his index finger starts picking at his thumb again. Such a subtle gesture that you wouldn’t notice if you’re not paying attention. I do. It’s my job to pay attention. Then he turns that piercing gaze back on me, challenge and avoidance flashing over his face.
“Who areyoujealous of, Trouble? Is it Callie?”
I roll my eyes. “You’re so full of yourself I’m surprised you have room for food.”
He shrugs and says nothing. I lower my voice, leaning forward so we aren’t overheard.
“Having feelings for your bandmate’s girlfriend is dangerous, Jonah.”
His eyes bounce between mine, then he surprises me by reaching up and fingering one of the curls that has come loose from my clip. He gives it a small tug, then lets it bounce back.
“I was wondering if it would do that.”
I shake my head with a sigh. “I’m serious. Have you talked about it with your therapist?”
His answering grin is sinister. “You’re cute thinking I talk to my therapist about anything of importance.”
“What?” My eyes widen with shock. “Therapy doesn’t work if you’re not honest.”
I would know.
He tilts his head to the side and changes the subject.
“Why did ‘Landslide’ make you emotional? Is it connected to the men you mentioned? The ones who fucked with women you love?”
My heart stops, stealing my breath, and my eyes sting.
I feel...
I feel exposed. In an instant, I’m completely torn open and laid bare, and I hate it.
“That’s none of your business.” My whisper quakes. It contains none of the ire I try to fake but all the shock. All the fear and hurt. This is bad.
“Stop deflecting,” I say, attempting to do exactly that. “Keeping things from your therapist is serious.”
“You’re going to make personal observations about me. It’s only fair I get to do the same.”
I grit my teeth and breathe through my nose, but I can’t look away. I can’t break eye contact as my stomach roils. My brain is so fuzzy that I don’t think I could respond even if I wanted to. Then he shocks me again.
“I’m not jealous, but I’m struggling with feelings of abandonment, and I don’t need a therapist to tell me that. I understand my emotions and actions perfectly. Callie chose Torren, and Torren chose Callie, and now I’m stuck with you.”
I flinch, but I don’t let myself dwell on that last sentence. I make myself take advantage of this rare moment of honesty. Not for leverage but for understanding.
“Did you and Callie date?”
His lips curl up slightly on one side.
“No. But we fucked. All three of us.” My jaw drops, and he laughs quietly before continuing. “Unfortunately, I didn’t realize how hard it would be to see someone every day after I’d fucked them. It was supposed to be casual—just a one-time thing—and she was supposed to leave. She didn’t leave. Now I have to watch her with Torren, and I feel like I’ve lost my best friend to her. It’s brought up a lot of repressed feelings of inadequacy, and I’m still trying to work through them.”
I blink at him. He grins. “See? I don’t need therapy. I need a lobotomy and a lifetime supply of Xanax.”
The last confession rings in my ears, and I make a mental note tohide my prescription. I know his drug of choice now. Or one of them, at least, and it’s the same as my brother’s. But his explanation...I wasn’t prepared to relate to him. I wasn’t prepared for this version of Jonah.
I’m out of my depth. I shake my head to erase the thought.
“Your turn.”
I look back at him and chew on the inside of my cheek. I shake my head again.
