Page 150 of For Wrath and Redemption
I move my piece and wait as he studies the board again. He takes a long time before making his move. Every turn of his is carefully considered, and it’s obvious he’s taking it seriously.
He doesn’t want to lose. It makes my heart hurt, but it also has me hoping he wins. I want him to beat me. I want to do this with him.
But then, in fifteen moves, I see a pathway to checkmate him with my queen. That blue wooden queen he made for me in Stockholm. Iflick my eyes to him and find him staring at it. He can see it, too, and he knows he’s about to lose.
It’s almost poetic that my queen, the queen he made for me, would be the piece to win it for me.
But what would I be winning?
My fingers tremble as I reach for the queen. I rest my forefinger and thumb on it and look at him once more. His blue eyes shimmer with unshed tears. He swallows roughly, and I watch that heart on his throat beat with the movement.
“Just do it, Trouble.”
God, his voice is so strained, like he’s holding back a sob. His breaths are ragged. His chest is heaving. Tears well in my own eyes. I won’tdo it. Ican’tdo it. Even if I wanted to, I couldn’t, and I don’t want to.
Without a second thought, I lay my queen on its side, forfeiting the game.
His eyes lock on mine. He blinks, causing those unshed tears to fall. He swallows again and his brows furrow in question.
I give him a small smile.
“Okay, Jonah. Okay.”
He blows out a puff of breath, then lunges over the chess board. I barely register the pieces falling to the ground as he cradles my face in his hands and presses his forehead to mine.
“Thank you. Thank you. I won’t let us down. I swear it. You won’t regret this.”
I nod, but I can’t speak, and when he kisses me, I let him.
I’m so scared. I’m so fucking scared, but just having him here makes me feel better. Even knowing he’s leaving on Monday to finish the tour my nerves have calmed a little. I wrap my arms around his neck and deepen our kiss, finally letting myself admit how much I’ve missed him. When he finally breaks away from me, it takes all my self-restraint not to pull him back.
“I came to tell you I’m going to rehab. I leave tomorrow.”
My eyes widen. “What? What do you mean?”
“I mean, at the advice of my therapist, I’ve admitted myself into a ninety-day residential program. I won’t have access to my phone or internet—no outside contact at all unless it’s an emergency—so you won’t hear from me until I’m out. I leave tomorrow.”
“You’re supposed to leave for the last leg of the tour on Monday.”
“Rock’s playing the rest of the tour for me.”
“You can’t...you can’t do that. What about the contract?”
“Nowhere in the contract does it say we can’t bring in musicians to fill in for us. Torren did it after Callie’s accident. I’m doing it now.”
“But the morality clause?”
“That was added as a gotcha. The label expected one of us to fuck up and for the tabloids to run with it, but Hammond’s already gotten ahead of this story. He’s reached out to the big media outlets, and they’ll be printing that I’ve been admitted forrest and recovery. Now that you’ve made me a media darling, they were nothing but supportive, so we’re expecting the same reaction from the public.AndHammond already told the label that if they try to say we’re in violation of the morality clause, we won’t finish the tour. They’ll be out a lot of money, and let’s be honest, that’s all those fuckers care about.”
I don’t know what to say. I just wipe at my tears and shake my head. How is this happening? Is this real? Can I trust this?
“You already set this up?” I ask, bouncing my eyes between his, searching for the lie. The trick. “Even before the chess game, you were going to do it anyway?”
He nods slowly and traces his knuckles over my jaw.
“That’s what I came to tell you. I came to beg for your forgiveness and prove that I won’t fuck up again. I don’t want to lose you, Claire. I’ll do anything to keep that from happening.”
He reaches up and fingers one of my loose curls, tugging it down before letting it spring back up, and then he smiles.
