Page 46 of Between Never and Forever
The crowd loved them, and I loved it. I’ve got a notebook filled with more to share.
I’ve never been the focus of so much positive attention before, and it’s been growing with each show. Even when I was busking in Nashville, I always had to read the crowd. Watch for cops or annoyed pedestrians. Once I had a whole soda dumped on me by an angry businessman in a suit.
Such a prick. It’s always the ones who appear respectable that turn out to be the biggest assholes.
When the lights shut off and I put my guitar back on the stand, the only thing I want to do is jump off the stage and rush to Levi. No matter what happened during our show, every time my eyes landed on him, his were on me.
And his attention?
It was better than anything else.
I want to run straight to him, but I need to talk to Torren and Sean first. I have shit to say, and they need to listen. I chug the rest of my water bottle, hold up agive me a minutefinger to Levi, then turn to face the stage.
I can’t find Sean, but Torren is standing just off the side of the stage, texting someone on his phone. His hair is sweaty from the set and pushed back on his forehead, exposing dark eyebrows slanted in concentration. I don’t know if the black eye and fat lip he’s sporting are from Levi or Jonah, but I’d be lying if I said it didn’t make me feel a little better about this whole thing.
I take a deep breath and walk up to him. We haven’t spoken since I got here. He tried to apologize, but I shut him down. Told him we’d talk after, so here I am.
“Hey,” I say, making him look up from his phone. “Got a minute?”
Torren nods and puts his phone in his pocket. `“Yeah. Want to talk out back?”
He looks so sad and nervous. Like a scolded puppy. It almost makes me feel bad. Almost. I tell Torren to lead the way, and I follow him through the door and into the alleyway where Jonah’s van is parked. When the door shuts behind us, muffling the sounds coming from inside the bar, he puts his hands in his front pockets and lowers his eyes.
“I’m so fucking sorry, Savvy,” he says, but he’s talking to the ground.
It pisses me off. It feels like a cop out. I use my booted foot to kick some rocks in his line of sight.
“Say it tome, Torren, not the damn gravel.”
He drags his eyes to mine, and I keep my face hard. When he doesn’t speak, I wave a hand between us, prompting.
“I’m sorry. I don’t even know what happened. I just saw Levi wailing on Sean.”
I scoff and roll my eyes, my irritation flaring hotter.
“What happened is that you got us high, and then Sean tried to grope me. I trusted you guys. I know he’s your brother, but you’re supposed to be on my side.”
“I am, Savannah. I swear. But it wasn’t like that with Sean.”
“Yes, it was! He twisted up my shirt and bra. He had my shorts undone—”
“He thought you were into it—”
“I saidNO! I remember. I saidno, Torren.”
He drags a hand over his face, embarrassed or ashamed, I can’t tell.
“God, Sav, I just...Sean says you said yes. He says you wanted it. He wouldn’t do this.”
I gasp, and my jaw drops.
“I tried to shove him off me! I kneed him in the gut. I wascrying.”
The words strangle my throat, and I feel like I might start crying again. It’s strange, saying all of this out loud. Watching him react. Realizing that it actuallydidhappen. I didn’t misremember it. I was high, and someone I trusted took advantage.
“Savannah, I’m sorry. He would have stopped.”
“That’s a lie. He stopped because Levi made him stop, and now you’re defending him? Even after I’m telling you what happened? You’re taking Sean’s word over mine? God, Levi was right. You don’t care about me at all.”
