Page 2 of Between Never and Forever
Brynn’s only just stopped tearing up every time one of their songs comes on the radio, and their songs come on the radio constantly.
“Actually, Dad, they didn’tbreak up,” Brynn corrects, a slight edge to her voice. “The Hometown Heartless ison a hiatus,and now I know why.”
Brynn shoves her tablet into my hand, tapping the screen to show me the news headline.
“Sav’s going to be in a movie,” she squeals. “The movie that’s filmingherenext month! Oh mygod, Dad, I can’t even believe it. This is prodigious. This is...this is...immaculate!”
Brynn continues to chatter excitedly, but her voice fades into the background as I focus on the tablet screen. The headline confirms what Brynn said.
Sav Loveless, frontwoman for rock band The Hometown Heartless, has been cast as the lead actress in a new movie.I don’t scroll to read the rest of the article. I can’t. Instead, my attention is held frozen by the photograph of the woman staring back at me.
It’s the same woman whose face taunts me daily from the posters plastered on Brynn’s bedroom walls. The same face I avoid in every grocery store checkout, smirking or scowling from the covers of magazines boasting tell-alls about her various rehab stints, numerous Hollywood hookups, and scandalous on-again-off-again relationship with her bassist.
It’s the same face I’ve seen in my dreams. In my nightmares.
Sav Loveless is a lesson in contrasts.
Every detail about her directly contradicts another. Silver hair and soft, pale skin, with swirling, storm gray, depthless eyes. A heart-shaped face. A delicate jaw. Cupid’s bow lips. Her angelic features suggest innocence and kindness, but the stories that precede her prove the exact opposite. She projects this façade of fearlessness, as if nothing can hurt her, while her lyrics rage with pain. Her tongue slices as sharp as a jagged piece of glass, but I know from experience how plush the lips are that contain that tongue, and I know how gentle it can be when coaxed.
She’s ethereal and untouchable, yet she was so soft under my palms...
I close my eyes quickly, severing the invisible line of tension between myself and the woman in the photograph.
I’ll never forget the way I felt the first time I saw her photo in a tabloid. I almost crashed my car the first time I heard her voice on the radio. My gut still twists at the memory.
After years of nothing, she was everywhere overnight. Then, as if her global popularity wasn’t enough, my own daughter had to go and become a diehard fan.
It’s been a poetic sort of torture. Perhaps deserved.
Most people get to move on from their first love. Heal from their first heartbreak. Learn from their first big mistake.
But me? I can’t seem to escape mine.
I take Brynn’s tablet and tell her she needs to go back to sleep. She’s got school in the morning, and even though there’s only two weeks left until summer break, she still needs to be awake for class.
In theory, anyway.
I think Brynn might be a bit more advanced than the average seven-year-old. I had to download a dictionary app on my phone just to look up the words she uses on a regular basis, and the other day she spent an hour lecturing me on ways to make my business more environmentally friendly.
I’m proud of her intelligence, but it makes me nervous for the years to come. I can barely keep up with her now.
Once Brynn’s light is off and her room is quiet, I make my way out onto the back deck. The rhythmic sound of the water flowing from the ocean and the briny scent of the air, usually so relaxing, do little to calm my nerves. I have an early job in the morning, but I’ll never get back to sleep. I might as well make some coffee and enjoy the sunrise in a few hours.
I brace my hands on the deck railing, the cool band on my left ring finger glinting in the moonlight and drop my chin to my chest. I close my eyes, focus on the sounds of the water, and take a deep breath, letting reality settle over my skin.
It prickles uncomfortably, and I grit my teeth.
Savannah is coming here. Back into my life.
She’s occupied a space in my head for years. A space that I’ve tried like hell to avoid. To forget. But here, in my town, avoiding her will be impossible. I have to prepare myself for that.
Savannah may be coming here, but I can’t let her back into my heart.
And I can’t let her upend my life again.
THEN
PART ONE
