Page 30 of This Life and All the Rest
Lennon sits stiffly on the couch, and I hand Evelyn and the bottle to her.
“Relax, Len, Jesus,” I say with a laugh. “You were just holding her and were fine.”
“That was before she was eating. What if she chokes?”
I smirk. “Trust me, she’ll be fine. Just take a deep breath, sit back against the cushions, and chill. She’s gonna feel your stress.”
I watch as Lennon nods and does exactly what I instructed. Deep breath in, then out, then she sinks back into the couch cushions and makes a conscious effort to relax her shoulders. It’s hilarious, and I try my hardest not to laugh. I can’t hide the amused grin, though, and when she sees it, she rolls her eyes and flashes one of her own.
“Good.”
The sight of Lennon and Evelyn makes my chest tight and my throat dry. I open my mouth to say more, but my phone vibrates in my pocket. I pull it out and check the ID.
Jessica.
“I gotta take this,” I say to Lennon. She flicks her eyes to my phone, then to my face and nods. I put the phone to my ear and answer as I walk through the sliding doors onto the back deck.
“Hey,” I say to Jessica. “Sorry to bother you.”
“It’s not a problem,” she says warmly. Just hearing the smile in her voice eases some of my building tension. “What can I do for you this fine day?”
ELEVEN
I sneaka peek at the phone screen just before Macon answers—Jessica—then I watch him through the glass sliding glass doors as he speaks to the person on the other end.
First Nicolette. Now Jessica. He has always beenpopularwith women.
I study him as he paces back and forth, agitated and tight, but soon, his body grows loose. I watch as the tension in his shoulders disappears, and the irritated wrinkles on his forehead give way to lighthearted laughter and smiles.
Whoever this Jessica is, she certainly has a strange, calming effect on Macon.
I have to actively fight to keep my body from stiffening. I have to work to unclench my jaw. The jealousy and concern I feel surprise me. Jealousy, because the idea of Macon having a Jessica pisses me off in a way I don’t want to admit. And concern because...
Well.
I recognized his body language when he first took that call. Jittery. Clenching and unclenching his fists. Rapid breathing. Short temper.
I remember what Macon would do when he got like that in high school. I learned quite a bit more about his habits from Sam, how they used each other. If Jessica is now filling that role...
I don’t know which bothers me more—if she’s an actual girlfriend, or if she’s a dealer—and that makes me feel like a terrible person.
I don’t want him to be using. Of course, I don’t. But do I want him in love?
He hasn’t seemed high at all since I’ve been back, but he’s had years to get better at hiding it. He hasn’t smelled like weed, either, but there are a lot of things he could be doing that don’t have a scent.
And he was discharged from the Marines for a reason.
I’m still staring at him when Andrea steps in front of me, dressed in jeans and a t-shirt with her wet hair still up in a towel.
“Thank you,” she whispers with a smile, gesturing to Evelyn, who is now sleeping on my chest. “Sorry you had to do that. I got caught up on the phone.”
I shake my head and smile back.
“It’s okay. Macon did it. I’m just the holder.”
“He’s here?” She looks around the room, then glances at the clock on the wall. “Shoot. I really lost track of time.”
“He’s outside,” I say, then study her closely when I add, “talking toJessica.”
