Page 29 of This Life and All the Rest
“My memory is perfectly fine,” I say, cutting her off and closing the distance.
I scan her face, seeking out the anger I know I’ll find in those hazel eyes. Her mouth is parted slightly, her chest is rising rapidly, in time with my own. My attention sticks on her lips before I finally drag my eyes back up to meet hers.
“I remembereverything, Lennon. I wish I fucking didn’t.”
“What?” Her brows scrunch in confusion. “What does that even mean?”
“Forget it.”
I look her over, settling my eyes on her auburn hair.
“Your roots are showing,Capri. Funny how that works, yeah? Not even a fancy French makeover can erase what’s at your core.”
I turn away without another word, grabbing my phone and shooting off a text as I walk outside. This time, Lennon doesn’t follow.
I take my pack of cigarettes from my pocket, shake one out and place it between my lips. I check my phone again, sending another text, before lighting up and taking a deep drag.
Fuck, and I was doing so well with the whole quitting thing.
I know Jessica is off today. I don’t want to call and bother her, but this is itching like it could turn into an emergency. I’m agitated as fuck, I’m pissed off, and I’m overthinking everything.
Who even is that woman in there? One moment, she’s Lennon—my Lennon—and the next, she’s someone I don’t recognize.
I’m torn between wanting to kiss her and wanting to send her packing, and it doesn’t help that I’m so keyed up, I’m not thinking straight.
I finish off my cigarette just as my phone alarm goes off, telling me it’s bottle time for the squirt. I stub my cigarette out and drop it in the flowerpot Mom keeps on her porch. I’ll snag it later and trash it properly on the way out. I twist my head slowly from side to side, trying to work some of the tension out of my neck, then I head back in the house.
Sure enough, Evelyn is starting to fuss.
Lennon has her in her arms and is swaying back and forth. It’s doing a decent job of keeping her calm, but it won’t last long. That baby gets hangry.
“It’s feeding time for the monster,” I tell Lennon.
“Oh. But Andrea just gave her breakfast not that long ago.”
I move to the fridge and pull out one of the bottles Mom’s got prepared for the day. She fixes them up for me when I’m watching Evelyn, since I can’t do the whole breastfeeding thing. I take the bottle to the sink and run it under some hot water, warming it up.
“Yeah, she eats three meals of solids,” I tell her, keeping my eyes on the bottle, rotating it under the faucet, “but she still gets like four bottles. She’ll nap after this.”
I take the bottle and test the milk on my wrist, then turn off the faucet and look up. Lennon is staring at me like I’m an alien, and Evie is sucking on her own fist.
“What?” I ask, rounding the counter and walking toward them. Evie starts bouncing in Lennon’s arms when she sees the bottle, and the grabby hands andbabababachant start up immediately.
“Nothing.” Lennon shakes her head, then hands the wriggling monster to me. “You just, I dunno, know a lot about taking care of this baby.”
I snort, maneuvering Evie to one arm and giving her the bottle.
“She’s notthis baby,” I say, as Evie wraps her hands around my wrist and lays her head on my chest. “She’s my sister, and this is what family does.”
I don’t mean for the last part to sound as biting as it does. I don’t mean to shade Lennon, but I do it anyway, and I feel like an asshole. I flick my eyes to her and consider apologizing, but the way she’s watching Evelyn with longing makes me bite my tongue. Instead, I offer an olive branch.
“You wanna feed her?” I ask, and Lennon shoots her eyes to me.
“Really?” Her back shoots straight, then she screws up her lips. “What if I mess it up?”
I laugh and gesture for her to sit on the couch.
“You won’t mess it up. She can pretty much do it on her own, anyway. I just like to hold her.”
