Page 131 of This Life and All the Rest
“Oh, this is too cute,” Mom says when she sees us, whipping out her phone and snapping a picture. “I’m going to frame this one.”
I give Lennon’s hip a squeeze, and she winks at me, and I watch as she talks with everyone. Her friends, her family. She dyed her hair back to her natural color a few weeks ago when she couldn’t ignore her roots any longer, and ever since then, I’ve had to pinch myself a few times.
She’s my Lennon, again. MyAstraea.
We’ve both changed in some big ways during the past four years, but at our core, we’re still us. She’s still my Lennon. I’m still her Macon. We’re at our truest when we’re together.
My mom says something about dinner being ready, and she lifts Evie out of Lennon’s arms and heads into the kitchen. I keep my hand on Lennon’s thigh, holding her on my lap while everyone else filters out of the room.
When we’re alone, she looks at me.
“What’s up?”
I reach up and tuck a strand of hair behind her ear, then trace my thumb over her jaw. This feels like healing. It feels like we’re going to be okay. Better than okay.
“I love you.”
She smiles and presses a soft kiss to my lips.
“I know.”
It’s almostmidnight by the time we get back to our apartment.
Dinner was great. The cake was better. Evie still won’t say Macon or walk. We talked and laughed and had a great night. I can’t remember the last time I was this happy, but I’m certain it was a time that involved Lennon.
Lennon is in all of my happy memories.
We drop the gift bags by the door, shove the leftovers Mom sent home with us in the fridge, and strip naked before crawling into bed.
Lennon curls into my side, her head on my chest and my arm wrapped around her body.
I used to joke that my left side was unlucky. Broken wrist, broken femur, broken heart. But it turns out, Lennon likes the left side of the bed, and her head fits perfectly on the left side of my chest.
My left side wasn’t unlucky. It was just waiting for Lennon. She heals my hurts. She strengthens me. I’m so stupidly in love with her.
“Did you have a nice birthday dinner?”
I brush my fingers back and forth over the soft flesh at the curve of her hip, and she purrs. I love that fucking sound.
“It was wonderful.” Her breath dances across my chest as she speaks. “I was a little worried, to be honest, but it’s been great being home.”
I smile. I haven’t heard her call it that yet. Just before she left to pack up her apartment, she was still referring to Paris as home. But just now, it came freely.
“Home?”
“Yeah, home. Here with you. With Dad and Drea and Evie. Home.”
She has no idea how strongly I feel those words. The absolute joy they give me. I bring my free hand to her chin and tilt her head upward, then I kiss her lips gently.
“You’remy home,Astraea.”
She smiles and kisses me again before laying her head back on my chest.
“You want to know a secret?” she whispers, and I nod.
“Yes,” I whisper back. “I want to know all your secrets.”
She pauses for a moment, just the sounds of our breathing in the dark bedroom, and she gently draws hearts on my chest with her index finger. I’m sure she can hear my heart racing.
