Page 34 of Undone
He didn’t flinch, but it was a near thing. He’d forgotten that he wasn’t alone.
Lifting his gaze, he met Jon’s blue eyes. They were sightly narrowed in contemplation, sharp and assessing as Jon nursed his own drink.
Anthony sighed, knowing that pretending there was nothing bothering him would be useless. After a decade of serving together, they knew each other too well.
But he didn’t know what to say. His mind was still reeling after what had happened last evening—after he’d basically jerked off another alpha at a goddamn ball.
He still couldn’t believe it had really happened. He didn’t know what had gotten into him, why he couldn’t seem to stop pushing Michael, why he’d felt a profound, twisted sense of satisfaction from making him come undone.
Was he attracted to other alphas?
The mere idea made Anthony grimace. But he had to consider the idea before dismissing it.
His gaze fell on Jon.
Objectively, Jon was very handsome. If Anthony really had... unnatural inclinations, shouldn’t he find Jon attractive too? But imagining touching Jon that way was beyond unappealing. Revolting. It made his skin crawl. And Jon was his oldest alpha friend—the only alpha friend he had besides Michael. If he ever started being attracted to alphas, Jon should have been the obvious choice. But thinking of him sexually was downright repulsive, and it had nothing to do with Jon being his brother-in-law.
So whatever this... madness was, it didn’t mean he was suddenly attracted to other alphas. He wasn’t. Michael seemed to be the only exception, the only alpha he wanted to mark up and dominate.
It was a small comfort.
“Can I ask you a question?” Anthony said, dropping his gaze back to his drink.
“Depends on whether you’re trying to dodge my question or if it’s actually related to it.”
“It’s related,” Anthony said curtly.
“All right, then. Go ahead.”
Anthony took a sip from his drink. “Have you ever done anything with other alphas?” His voice sounded much calmer than he felt about the issue.
Silence.
At last, Jon said, his voice careful, “You mean, as in sex?”
“Yes.”
“No,” Jon said, in the same carefully neutral tone. “It never appealed to me. But I know some soldiers made casual arrangements during the war. With long deployments and no omegas around, options were limited.”
Anthony gave a clipped nod, but Jon’s words weren’t exactly comforting. If even the war and lack of omegas around hadn’t turned him into a degenerate who wanted to fuck other alphas, what was his excuse now?
“Are you...” Jon trailed off. He cleared his throat and said, sounding uncharacteristically awkward, “Are you attracted to an alpha?”
“No,” Anthony bit off instinctively, though he wasn’t sure how true it was. He wasn’t sure if what he felt around Michael was attraction. It didn’t feel like attraction. It felt more like compulsion—his vision zeroing in on the other alpha, rational thought dying as everything else faded away, leaving only the overwhelming urge to crush, claim, and make Michael submit.
“I don’t know,” he admitted roughly, meeting Jon’s eyes. “It’s just Michael.”
Something flickered in Jon’s expression. “Ah,” he said faintly, then grinned. “That’s a relief. For a moment, I was afraid you were nursing atendrefor me. I was already wondering how to let you down gently.”
“Fuck off,” Anthony said with a snort. “I have better taste than that.”
“You’re maligning yourself too, considering how alike we look,” Jon said with a chuckle before his expression turned serious. “He is very handsome, I guess.”
Anthony twitched. He didn’t like Jon’s words—didn’t like that he’d noticed Michael’s looks. It was ridiculous. Jon would have had to be blind not to notice how gorgeous Michael was.
“Is it a new thing?” Jon said. “You’ve been friends for years now.”
Anthony sighed, running a hand over his face.
