Page 57 of Casper
“Thanks but I’m not hungry. I just want to get back there in case there’s any news on Casper.”
“I understand.”
We returned to the hospital to find that there had been no news yet. Casper’s friends waited in the waiting area. Rebel and Auryn spoke quietly amongst themselves. Stray scrolled on his phone, shifting uneasily in his chair while Dom simply stared at the silent TV in the corner. Codie never left my side. Not even when I anxiously paced the halls, unable to sit down.
I knew that I should probably call my mom. This wasn’t something I could hide from her. I probably wouldn’t tell her every detail. However, she deserved to know what happened. I wanted to tell her about Casper and how amazing he was. Once I knew how he was doing, I would go outside and give her a call.
It was well into the following day when they came to tell us that Casper was in recovery. The surgery had gone well. Apparently, the bullet had primarily penetrated soft tissue, only grazing his intestines. The injury could have been so much worse. He would need to stay for several days for observation and to make sure there was no sign of infection.
I collapsed to my knees in the hallway, bursting into tears. Codie knelt next to me, hugging me tight. She rubbed my back softly, murmuring words of encouragement. I’d never been so grateful.
Casper was going to be all right. Jace didn’t win.
When we were finally allowed to see him, I went first. My pulse pounded as I approached the door to his room. I needed to see for myself that he was okay. And yet, I worried thateverything between us would have changed after what happened with Jace in the basement.
I entered the room to find Casper in the bed, hooked up to various machines and tubes. He was pale, his skin ashen other than the cuts and bruises. A bandage had been placed over the gash on one side of his head. Seeing him in a hospital gown with all of those machines around him made my eyes sting with fresh tears.
He blinked sleepily at me, waving me over to the bed. “Flower,” he signed. “You have no idea how happy I am to see you.”
“How do you feel?” I asked. “I’ve been so worried about you, Casper.”
“I feel like I was shot in the gut. Guess I’m just glad it wasn’t a head shot. How are you? Did they take care of you?” He held a hand out to me. His eyes were lacking their usual light, yet he still studied me with a keen intensity.
Trying not to disturb him in any way, I sat gingerly on the edge of the bed. The way he clutched my hand made me overcome with emotion. “They did what they could. They think I should talk to someone. A therapist or something. I’m not sure I want to do that.”
He released my hand so he could sign. “Maybe you should think about it. That kind of thing can really haunt you.” Pausing, Casper glanced away, his shoulders shaking in a shuddery sigh before he continued. “I’m so sorry that I failed you. I promised to protect you, and I let you down.”
Seeing the self-loathing that filled him made me ill. None of this was his fault.
“Casper, no. You didn’t. You did everything you could. You took a bullet for me. I thought I was going to lose you. Don’t talk like that. You have never failed me.” Tears slipped down my face.Careful not to touch him too much, I leaned over to lightly press my lips to his.
He tenderly held my face, making a pained sound as he kissed me back. I remembered the way he’d screamed my name. The sound of his voice fueled by such distress and agony. I hated that something so devastating had been the first thing to make him break his silence in so long.
I wondered if I would ever hear him speak again. Without such horrific circumstances driving it. I would love him either way.
“Promise me that you’ll talk to someone,” he signed, pausing to caress my bruised face. “Don’t carry this burden alone. You’re free of him now. Don’t give him power over you in death.”
The concern in his eyes was enough to make me break down again. I nodded, choking back a sob. “I promise.”
We were interrupted then by a knock at the door. Two police officers entered.
“Casper Callahan and Luna Burke?” One officer asked, acting as the spokesman for the two. “We have a few questions for you.”
CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR
CASPER
As the days passed, I fell deeper into the dark pit that threatened to swallow me whole. Lying in that hospital bed, feeling like a failure, all I could think about was what happened to Luna.
Over and over again, I saw it play out in my mind. Watching Jace hit her before pinning her beneath him. Climbing on top of her while he shoved her skirt up. Violating her.
Several times I made myself physically ill, vomiting from the image that lived in my memory. I kept thinking about everything I should have done differently. How I should’ve double checked her location before entering that house. I should have made sure she never showed up there.
Despite how many times she told me during her frequent visits that I couldn’t blame myself for what happened, I did anyway. She was mine to protect. He’d hurt her on my watch.
I didn’t deserve Luna. Not anymore. Maybe I never had. For all I knew, I wasn’t even supposed to be here at all. I was supposed to die that night with my parents in the accident. The fates had made a mistake by sparing me.
Several times throughout the week Luna came by the hospital, spending as much time with me as possible. Shewas doing her best to stay strong. Going to class, working on homework. Pretending that everything was fine and normal.
