Page 97 of Take My Breath Away
PERRY
“I said I can take you. There’s no need for a cab.”
“I’m not getting a cab. Alfie’s borrowed a car. He’s coming to collect me, and he’ll be here in a minute.”
With a large suitcase and a bin bag at my feet, my life with James is packed up and ready to go. I scoured the house to make sure I’d got everything. If there’s anything left it won’t be important and he can throw it away.
I look at my watch, willing Alfie to get here so I can leave this phase of my life behind. James is hovering, still and awkward like he’s a stranger in his own house.
“Perry…” His voice sounds so small, pathetic even, it’s not the voice of the man I know. Or knew. Thought I knew.
Fuck it.I rub my eyes, dry and gritty from a sleepless night.
“Perry?”
“What?” I snap, glaring at him. I have to snap, I have to glare because if I don’t I’ll cry.
“Please, if there’s anything I can do, any time, you’ve got to let me know.”
I can’t believe what I’m hearing. He’s done plenty, he’s done more than enough. I keep my gaze locked on to his and a red tide washes up over his face. There’s a part of me that wants him to squirm, but a bigger part only wants this to be over.
“If it’s easier for you,” he says quietly, “I’ll go out and—”
He’s interrupted by a long ring on the bell. It’s Alfie, I know it is, keeping his finger pressed to the button. I almost smile. Thank God for friends who act like twats.
I drag on my coat which has been lying on top of my suitcase, as I make for the door.
“Thanks Alfie,” I say quietly. “I’ll just get my stuff.” I jerk my head towards the sad little pile of belongings that represent my life in this house.
“I’ll get it.” Alfie pushes past me and I follow him back down the hallway, where James is still hovering.
Alfie doesn’t even acknowledge him as he picks up my things before striding back down the hallway and out of the house. I’m on his heels, and he hefts it all into the back of a large estate car, idling at the curb. For a moment I wonder who it belongs to because Alfie doesn’t have a motor.
“It’s Leo’s,” he says, answering my unspoken thought.
I wrack my dull and heavy brain, trying to remember who Leo is. Of course. Leo, the new man. The one Alfie’s decided to stay in London for. I make a mental note to pass on my thanks.
“You ready? Got everything?”
“Yes. Oh no, wait. Just a minute.” I may have everything, but there’s something I have to return because there’s no way I’ll be using it again.
The front door’s still wide open and James is standing in the hallway, exactly where I left him.
“Here.” Delving into my pocket, I pull out a set of keys.
I hold them out to him, but he only looks at them as though deciding whether or not he should take them. My heart, my fucking treacherous heart, picks up the beat in the sudden hope that he doesn’t.
He does, of course, because this is real life and not some crappy romance.
There’s no last minute change of heart, no last minute declaration of love, no last minute begging me to stay, there’s only quiet acceptance as he takes the keys I hold out to him. But it’s not quite that simple, as he wraps his palm around my hand and brings it to his lips to place a gentle kiss on my knuckles. I should drag my hand away, but I can’t. He looks up at me, his eyes sadder and duller than I’ve ever seen.
“I’m sorry.”
My throat’s frozen. I can’t talk. But what would I say if I could?
Turning, I walk away and James doesn’t follow. I close the door quietly, on the man I love and on the life that could have been.
* * *
