Page 92 of Take My Breath Away
“Married?” The word feels like glue in my mouth.
James pushes Freddie down into the chair, his hand planted on Freddie’s shoulder stopping his attempts to get up.
“That’s not true. I don’t know where Cosmo got that idea from.”
James’ attention is all on me, Freddie forgotten. His gaze is fierce, and I look away fearing I’ll be burnt.
“Don’t bother with the coffee,” I mumble, looking at Freddie. He’s fallen asleep.
James doesn’t even spare him a glance.
“I can only think he’s talking about Alex, but civil partnerships and same sex marriage weren’t even thought of, let alone legal, when we were together. But you know we were serious, until I screwed up.”
He winces as though realising how apt the use of the wordscrewis. Because that was the problem by his own admission. James had loved Alex, but hadn’t loved him enough to not screw around, adding notches to his bedpost.
“You know all about him, and why it finished.”
“It’s not my business, what you did or didn’t do before we got together.”
James sucks in a deep breath, his jaw clenching, eyes narrowing. He looks away as though he’s trying to steady himself. As though he’s trying to tamp down on a rising anger, but when he turns back to me his words are measured and though quiet, are sharp and crystal clear.
“Everything he said… Look, I’ve got a history, Perry. You know the kind of man I am.”
I force myself to meet his hard and unflinching gaze, looking out at me from a face that’s as still and unreadable as granite.
I am.
Not,I was, butI am.
“I know.”
And I do know, because he’s never tried to deny who and what he is.
It’s not James who’s deceived me, it’s myself.
Chapter Forty-One
JAMES
It’s almost three in the morning as we stumble out of the cab and into the house, slamming the door hard behind us. We’re drunk, or at least we should be.
We’d both hit the booze hard with an almost frenetic desperation to get rid of the tension, not only because of Freddie’s clumsy words but of the last few days, too. It’d been the same on the makeshift dance floor in the living room.
Under the pulsing multicoloured light ball hanging from the ceiling, we’d writhed and rutted against each other, lips locked on lips in wet and dirty kisses. We’d been like starving men, frenzied in our gorging, yet never sated.
My gaze falls to Perry. His black jeans are so tight they could be painted on, and his shirt’s ridden up to reveal a strip of tantalising pale skin. Desire, need and want, overlaid with more complex emotions I don’t want to examine, combine to heat low in my belly.
Perry edges round me, or tries to, but I grab him by the wrist. He doesn’t pull out of my grip as his gaze meets mine. His dark eyes are made darker by his distended pupils. There’s a kind of defiance in them, just as there is in the slow upwards curve of his lips and the tilt of his chin.
I step in close, crowding him, never breaking eye contact as I force him back against the wall. Force? No, I don’t force him. He doesn’t push me away but just stares, full of provocation and dare. I crush my body to his and claim his mouth.
Perry doesn’t resist and kisses me back with a heated fervour I’ve not felt from him before. It’s sloppy, soaking, a fevered, starving clash of teeth and tongues. He groans low in his throat and ruts up against my leg, the hard length of his erection igniting further the inferno raging inside me.
Without breaking the kiss, refusing to lose the wet heat of Perry’s mouth, I fumble at his buckle, at the zip on his jeans, forcing them open, hooking my fingers beneath the waistband of his underwear and shoving them down over his hips. I stagger back a step, ripping our lips apart.
Perry kicks off his shoes, his jeans and boxers following, as I tear my own away. I’m panting hard but so is Perry. For the briefest moment the dense haze of lust that’s overtaken me lifts, and all I can do is drink him in.
Messy dark hair, wet lips bruised and puffy, his skin warm and flushed. His sweet beauty, just as it always does, catches at my heart. He moans, guttural and deep, as he wraps his palm around his dick and begins to fuck into his hand.
