Page 91 of Take My Breath Away
The sounds of the party fade to nothing. Here and now, it’s just us.
I close my eyes as the heat of his hands warms me and the brush of his lips over mine flips my heart and sends a wave of flutters through my belly. I want to fall into him, I want to feel his arms encircle me and hold me tight, so tight I can feel our hearts beat as one. The words rise up in me and tingle on my tongue. I want to go, I want to leave this house where I don’t know anybody, I want us to go home where it’s just us, and where we can turn the lights low and kiss and touch, entwine our bodies and make love and try to bridge the gap that’s broken the ground beneath our feet and is pulling us further and further apart.
“James, can—”
His hands slip from my face and I open my eyes. He’s looking not at me, but over my head, his eyes dark and intent. My heart plunges and for a second I feel dizzy and faint, but I turn and search the crowd for what — or who — he’s looking at but—
James’ face lights up, and he grins.
“I thought it was you,” he says, as Freddie pushes his way through, a bottled beer in his hand. He’s grinning and red-faced.
“Not interrupting anything, I hope?” Freddie’s swaying a little, and he bumps into me. “You looked pretty…” he frowns as though searching for the right word. “Intense,” he says with a decisive nod, before he takes a glug from the bottle.
“Is Elliot here?” James asks, and Freddie shakes his head and snorts.
“No, he said he had a stomach ache and didn’t feel well, but I know he wants to snuggle up with Jasper and OD on a Line of Duty boxset. Or maybe Drag Race. He thinks he can fool me, but I see through him every single time, ‘cause he’s pretty easy to suss out, isn’t he, Perry?” Freddie grins at me, blinking his bloodshot, drink-fogged eyes.
“Well, I suppose it’s my job to work him out so—whoops.” I catch hold of Freddie.
He’s gone to put his empty bottle down and almost tripped over. He slings an arm around me and leans down. Like Elliot, he’s tall. When he speaks I have to stop myself from veering backwards from his beery breath.
“You’re so sweet. Has anybody ever told you that before? He is, isn’t he?” Freddie shifts his very out of focus gaze to James.
“Very sweet indeed.” James unfolds Freddie from me.
“Unlike you.” Freddie staggers into James, who has no option but to wrap his arms around Freddie to stop him falling. “You were always trying to talk me into bed, whenever you came round here to see Cos, but I didn’t fancy being just another nutch… nitch…” Freddie’s face scrunches up in a frown. He’s pissed as a fart, and everything he says is down to that, but his words make my blood run cold.
“Notch.” Even above the noise of the party, my voice is clear, the word cutting through like a rapier.
Notch on James’ bedpost.
“Yeah, that’s it, Perry. Got it in one. Never did give up the goods though. Didn’t want to be a… notch.”
He takes his time with the word. I can hear the grin of triumph in his voice, whether for saying the word correctly or because he’d resisted James’ seduction, I don’t know. Because I’m not looking at Freddie, I’m looking at James, who’s staring back at me.
“It was a game, that’s all. Flirting. The more he resisted, the more I pushed.”
Like me? Except in the end I did give up the goods…My stomach rolls over, the few sips of wine I’ve had burning my gut like acid.
Still clinging onto James, Freddie mutters something. Neither of us take any notice.
“You were a free agent; you both were.” I shrug my shoulders in an attempt to look unconcerned. James flirts, he always flirts. It’s built into his DNA.
Then why does a winter chill wrap itself around my heart?
James’ eyes bore into mine, but Freddie shifts suddenly and James has to steady him, dragging James’ gaze from me.
“I think you need to sit down and have a coffee,” James says.
There’s a chair in the corner of the kitchen, near the door leading to the back garden, but Freddie refuses to budge.
“Don’t you dare let him make you a n—n—nudge… oh fuck it, you know what I mean,” Freddie says, ignoring James, swinging around to me and almost stumbling. He locks his gaze to mine. His hazel eyes may be drink glazed but they’re steady. “Fucks anything with a pulse. That’s what Cosmo says. James and his slutty ways. Elliot says so too. Fucks ‘em and leaves ‘em. James—”
“That’s enough Freddie. You’re drunk and you need to sit down and get some coffee in you.”
James barks out the words, as tight as his face, and he tries to steer Freddie to a chair in the corner, but Freddie shakes him off.
“Cosmo said you were going to get married, ages ago, but you couldn’t keep it in—”
