Page 99 of Take My Breath Away
Elliot nods but he doesn’t look happy. “I’m all for people starting up their own businesses. More should take the plunge and I completely support you and what you’re doing. If I can be of any help, in any way,” he says, his gaze steady on mine, making me understand he’s not just talking about my potential new venture, “don’t hesitate to let me know.”
We talk business for a little while, taking us back onto safe ground, before I retreat back to my own desk and bury myself in work so that I don’t have to think.
* * *
“I thought we could get in pizza, have a few beers and watch some porn.”
Alfie walks in from work seconds after I do. Despite how crap everything feels, I can’t not laugh. I look him up and down. My favourite shepherd and urban poet has turned into Mr. Corporate Accountant.
He knows why I’m laughing, and he glares at me.
“Thought it might cheer you up a bit,” he grumbles.
“It’s a nice thought and I do appreciate it, but you seem to forget I’ve seen some of your porn collection. Very hairy men dressed in thongs, stockings and tutus doesn’t really do it for me.”
“I was going through a phase.” Alfie tries to look affronted but it’s not very successful. “We can go for whatever you want. What makes you get hot and sweaty?”
Men with moss green eyes who wear fuck off three piece suits…but I guess that’s not the answer he’s looking for.
“I’m all for the pizza and the beer but can we shelve the porn? I’m really not in the mood.”
“You should be. Kind of get you back on track, you know?”
Alfie, my good friend. He may be wayofftrack with the porn idea but his heart’s in the right place just as it’s always been, and I can’t help but wrap my arms around him.
“Hey, what’s this all about?”
“Oh, for being a twat. You know.”
Alfie chuckles before he disentangles himself from my death hold and phones up the order as I head off to get showered and changed.
“Here, have one of these,” he says, handing me a beer when I re-emerge. Flopping onto the sofa, I knock it back and close my eyes.
It’s Thursday evening, five days since I walked away from James. I tuck away the thought, refusing to keep count.
“… from him?”
“Hmm? What? Sorry, what was that?
“I said, have you heard anything? From James?”
So much for not thinking about James Campion.
“No, but then I don’t expect to. It’s not like we were together for long so there’s nothing much to unpack. You know, emotionally speaking.”
Lies, lies, and more lies.
“The man’s a fool to let you go.”
I shrug, and swallow the sudden very hard lump lodging in my throat.
“Maybe, but now we’ll never know.”
Alfie wraps a muscly arm around me and pulls me in, and I rest my head on his shoulder.
He doesn’t say anything, he just holds me. I’m grateful for his touch, almost as much as I am for his silence.
A few minutes later the pizza delivery guy arrives. We set up the boxes on the little coffee table in front of the telly. It reminds me of when we were students together, living in one crappy flat after another, eating pizza straight out the box and licking greasy fingers. It’s a nice, warming memory from a life that seems like it wasn’t as complicated as the one I’m living now.
