Page 33 of Morally Black Betrothal
“People in Boston eat cheese and bread, just like everywhere else,” I said calmly.
“Oh, please, you know what I mean.”
“I don’t, actually.” I couldn’t help but snap a little. “And what does my kitchen have to do with you borrowing money you know you can’t pay back?”
“I’m just saying, you have to make money at this, right?” She waved her hands at the appliances again and toward the breadthat was almost done baking. “Dad said you’re trying to open your own shop.”
“Wasbeing the operative word there, since I’m about to give you everything I’ve been saving for it.”
“That’sallyou’ve saved?”
I took a long, deep breath before replying. “I can’t give you everything, Sel, no matter what Dad said.”
“Why?”
Because I’m not a bank!I wanted to shout.Because you need to grow up!
Instead, I just repeated the other promise we both knew I had to keep. “Didn’t Dad tell you what’s going on with the farm? I have to send money home before he loses it to bankruptcy. The bread, the cheese is just for fun right now. It’s like testing. My main income is from the bar, and trust me when I say it isn’t as much as you think. Aside from volunteering, I don’t have much time for anything else.”
“You know that’s your problem, right? It’s that stupid hospital. It’s so depressing. If you didn’t waste your time mooning over sick old people, you’d have time to make more money.”
“I’m not quitting the hospital.” I turned back to my strata, though frankly, I was losing my appetite.
“It’s just so pointless. You’re not a nurse or a doctor. What could you possibly be doing there that adds any real value? It doesn’t matter how much time you spend there, it’s never going to bring Mom back?—”
I stood quickly, the leg of my stool interrupting her with a screech. I wanted to scream. I wanted to throw her out of the apartment and tell her she was on her own.
Instead, I took another deep breath and met the blue eyes that mirrored mine but held so much more bitterness. And fear. Selena talked a good game, but deep down, she was scared, likea trapped animal. And just like any animal, she lashed out when cornered.
I was used to being collateral damage. But Kylie deserved better.
So instead of arguing with her, I went to pour myself another cup of coffee. “Like I said, I’ll give you half. You’ll have to figure something else out for the rest.”
“Simone, you don’t understand,” she whispered, shooting a quick glance at Kylie. “If I don’t pay it back, I’m terrified of what Ezra might do. I think they may hurt me, or abduct Kylie—or, or kill me!”
I honestly couldn’t tell if she was acting or if she was honest. Either way, I only had one answer.
“I’m already offering you what I have. Give Ezra half, and see if he will accept another trade once you get a job.” I didn’t want to do this, but it was the only other option. “You and Kylie can stay here until it’s paid off. But that’s the best I can do.”
And it was.
Unfortunately, it wasn’t good enough.
“You’re so fuckinglazy!” Selena seethed. “You could do anything with your life, and look at what you choose. Slinging drinks at a shitty bar, working for free at a hospital. You don’t take chances, you never did, and now we’re all paying for it. I thought I could count on you, Simone, I really did.”
“I’m giving you everything I have!”
“And I’m telling you that will do me absolutely no good!”
I stared up at the ceiling. The plaster was cracked, like so many of these old buildings. When I’d moved in, the imperfections like that were charming. Now they just felt symptomatic of the poisons I couldn’t ever seem to flush from my life.
“Well, then I suggest you figure out another way,” I said as calmly as I could manage. “I can only do what I can do.”
“Yeah, you know what? You’re right. I should have known I was on my own, just like always.”
Selena stomped over to the “bedroom” area of the studio, where, behind the screen, she dressed in a hurry, then grabbed her purse and headed for the door.
“Sel, where are you going?”
