Page 3 of Mase
My legs give way, and I slump against the chair as realization sets in. Unable to hide the hurt welling inside me, a pained gasp leaves my lips. “Please no, Tara.” I hold the back of my neck with both hands and drop my head between my legs, trying to dispel the storm brewing inside me. Please no.
There’s no way she’d betray me.
My lungs seize, and I struggle to suck in air. I can feel myself unraveling as my entire body shakes with a panic I can’t contain.
She wouldn’t. A sob catches in my throat, and I bite my lip to stifle its escape, trying desperately to remain in control.
No way.
She would never hurt me in that way. No, I refuse to fucking believe it.
Never.
We took vows; we promised one another a lifetime of commitment, love, and respect.
A lone tear trickles down my face, and an acute coldness takes over me while my mind races with the facts.
She was having another man’s baby. The one thing I always wanted, and she knew it. I gave her everything, and she committed the ultimate betrayal, knowing how much it would hurt me.
“She told me she loves me,” I whisper into the abyss.
Right?
Even as I tell myself all this, I feel it in the pit of my stomach, a sickening awareness coming over me. She lied to me.
I grip the arms of the chair as my world tilts on an axis.
She betrayed me, and there’s no coming back from that.
In one night, our entire future is destroyed.
Another tear slips down my face, and I stare into the abyss, uncaring of how many hours have passed. She cheated and destroyed us after she promised us a future of happiness and loyalty.
I thought I’d escaped the path of deception when I left my father’s home with her. I chose her; I promised her a lifetime of commitment, and I meant it. Jesus, I was prepared to fight for our relationship despite our flaws. Not once have I considered sleeping with someone else.
Losing our baby broke me; it’s something I never want to experience again. Discovering she willingly chose to have a baby with someone else, knowing how much I wanted a family of our own, is what hurts the most. It twists my stomach at the thought of her doing this to me, to us.
“M-Mase?”
I slice my gaze to hers.
“I lost the baby, didn’t I?” She reaches for my hand, but I keep them tightly balled at my side despite having a crazy urge to reassure her and protect her from the pain she’s enduring. She’s my wife, and she’s in agony, the same pain we felt before, yet probably worse with how much she must have wanted this baby to carry it for so long in secret.
I clear my throat, but it’s still scratchy. “Yeah. I’m sorry.” My voice is monotone even though I feel sympathy for her. I want nothing more than to console her, but I’m broken, and I don’t think there’s any coming back from this.
“Mase, I need you.” She sobs, and I squeeze my eyes closed as the harrowing tone of her voice has a flashback assaulting me.
“Mase, I need you to promise me you’re going to be a good man when you grow up.” My mom pushes my hair off my face. She’s kneeling before me with a bruised eye and a split lip. Her firm hand holds me in place with a harsh grip that is unlike her. The way her eyes bore into mine with desperation makes me nod, eager to comply and soothe her. “Say it. Say the words, Mase. Promise me you won’t be like him,” she says, giving me another swift shake.
I pull in a deep breath and broaden my shoulders. “I promise, Mom. I promise to be a good man.” Her solemn face sparks with happiness, and a warm feeling spreads through me like a wildfire. I love making my mom happy, especially when my father makes her so sad.
“You’re going to be a good man, Mason Campbell, I just know it. You won’t let me down.” She beams, and I replicate the expression, feeling it deep in my soul, and a determination sets in. I’ll make my mom proud. My wife too. I’m going to have a family one day, one I will love and cherish, and they’ll give me that very same feeling back.
Just like a family is meant to.
“Mase, did you hear me? I said I need you.” She sobslouder as if feeling me slipping away. “It’s happened all over again. My baby is gone; it’s gone, Mase.” Hearing her say that out loud causes a gut-curdling sensation to twist deep inside me. She’s getting louder with each word she sobs, and I finally take her hand in mine and stroke her thumb. “Our baby is gone.” My breath catches in my throat at the tortured sound of her wail.
“Shhh, it’s okay. Everything is going to be okay.” I stroke the hair from her face, and it seems to soothe her.
