Page 89 of Still Bruised
“You agreed to my demands because you felt guilty. Nothing more.”
“I won’t say that I don’t feel guilty, but if I didn’t want to be here with you, I wouldn’t be.” Foster caressed the side of Jude’s face. “When you’re not here, all I can think of is the next time I’ll see you.”
“Don’t get sappy on me now,” Jude muttered.
“Fine. If you need to tell yourself you’re collecting on a debt, go right ahead.”
“What does that mean?”
Foster searched his face a few seconds before shrugging. “Nothing, I guess.”
Jude’s heart thundered against his ribcage.
It became harder to breathe.
The apartment was suddenly suffocating. He had to get outside.
Fresh air.
Freedom.
“Jude?” Foster asked, a concerned look on his face.
Jude climbed out of bed and stretched for his clothing, tugging his briefs on haphazardly.
“Stay,” Foster implored, reaching for his hand.
Jude pulled away and looked at Foster—sitting on the bed they’d just ransacked, his hair tousled, and his big, blue puppy eyes pleading. He hated how enticing the invitation was and the way his body leaned in that direction, ready, willing, and able to slide back in to snuggle with Foster.
I can’t fall for him.
I can’t.
A voice whispered inside his head. Too late, asshole.
“I have work early tomorrow,” Jude said as he buttoned his jeans. He couldn’t look at Foster, or he’d end up back in that bed.“I can’t…” He shook his head. “I can’t run across town like I did last time.” Jude scoffed. “And this bed is way too small for the both of us.”
“I can drive you home,” Foster offered. “And… I could stay with you there. If you wanted me to stay, that is.”
“Wearen’tin a relationship, Foster,” Jude snapped, finally looking at him.
Foster stared for a moment before tearing his gaze away. Had the pain he’d noticed been a figment of his imagination?
Jude pulled on his shoes and then reached for his jacket. “By the way, congrats on the job.”
“Thanks,”Foster replied, his tone flat and his gaze trained on the bed they’d just shared.
Jude stood there a few more seconds, the urge to give in and ask for that ride home screaming in his head. To sleep in Foster’s arms again. To wake up to a big, hairy body cuddled beside him. He’d never imagined wanting to do that with anyone… but there he stood wanting it with a desperation he couldn’t comprehend.
Wanting it from the wrong man.
Jude didn’t do relationships, and even if he did, Foster wasn’t one he could trust to get close with. If they stayed on this path, it wasn’t going to end well.
“It wasn’t supposed to be like this,” Jude whispered.
Foster’s gaze jumped to his.
“It was supposed to be just sex. I was clear about that from the very start. If you’re having feelings, then you need to get them in check,” Jude said. He wasn’t completely sure if he wasreminding Foster of that—or himself. “Because that’snotgoing to change.”
