Page 55 of Still Bruised
“Have you been denying it so long you can’t even admit it to yourself?”
“I…” Foster winced. He paused a few seconds. “I wasn’t aware there’d been anyone else there that day.”
“I never said anything. To anyone.”
Foster was suddenly right back in that locker room with Jude staring up at him. “I regret a lot about that day. And what happened to Jude after it all went down.” He wet his suddenly dry lips. “It was all my fault. What he went through… yet I felt powerless to stop it.”
“He really did go through a few months of hell. I felt bad for him.” Cary sighed. “But it wasn’t your fault. It was Rick.”
“I wasn’t harassed. It wasn’t fair that I didn’t get the same heat.”
“Maybe, but that still doesn’t mean you were responsible for what happened to him,” Cary said. “If you’d intervened, Rick might’ve added your name to the shit list.”
“Maybe it belonged there,” Foster said.
“Neither one of you should’ve been bullied for what happened.” Cary shook his head. “Not gonna lie… witnessing his torment probably kept me in the closet longer.”
Foster sat in silence a moment, wondering if it hadlockedhim in the closet. Was that why he’d allowed Ashley to draw him into a life he’d never wanted?
“I wondered if it might’ve been Jude myself. I looked him up on social media and found a photo. I don’t think it was him. Jude’s shorter and heavier than the guy I was with—and he has a thick beard.” Foster took a sip from his glass. “I’ve crossed him off the list.”
“Ah,” Cary said. “Well, that’s the only person outside of Rick I could think of, and we know it wasn’t Rick.”
“I went over to Jude’s shop,” Foster said. “A couple of weeks ago. It was Sunday, and they were closed.”
“To see for yourself if it was him?”
“Not really, but confirmation wouldn’t hurt. I went to apologize for everything that went down,” Foster said. “I keep telling myself to go back, but I can’t seem to do it. What could I possibly say to make anything better?Nothing.There are no words that’ll convey how terrible I feel about what he went through.”
“I don’t think you have anything to apologize for—but if it’s something you feel you’ve got to do, then do it.”
“I should’ve defended him. I should’ve called out the bullies.”
“Weallshould have defended Jude, but we were all too young and too stupid to realize Rick didn’t really have any power over us. Had we banded together and fought against him, he never would’ve had the influence he did back then.” Cary scoffed. “Half the guys who bullied Jude were probably only doing it because they didn’t want Rick coming after them.”
“That’s almost worse,” Foster said. “Bullying because they’re afraid of being bullied? That’s no excuse. Just like there’s no excuse for me letting him go through all that, either.”
“You were a scared kid, caught with his pants down. You freaked out. I might’ve done the same thing in your shoes.”
“My pantsweren’tdown,” Foster corrected.
Not yet. But they might as well have been. Foster had been hard as fuck, nearly creaming his pants just from the idea of Jude wrapping his lips around his cock. They’d both lost their minds doing what they’d donewherethey’d done it.
But it had just happened.
Spontaneous.
A spark had lit an inferno.
After he’d pushed Jude away, he’d seen pain flare in the guy’s eyes. He’d known in that instant that he was the worst human being on the face of the planet… one too terrified to tell the truth. He’d been scared to stop the taunting and bullying Jude experienced those last few months before he quit school.
Christmas had come and gone. School started again. There had been no Jude walking the halls in his skinny jeans anymore.
There was little surprise why. He’d been absolutely tormented. Rick and his pack had started the ball rolling. They’d spread it all over campus that Rick had caught Jude sucking some guy’s dick under the bleachers and it had been too dark to see who he’d been blowing. Why the scenario had changed or why Rick had covered for him, he didn’t know.
He’d been too scared to ask.
Foster had avoided Rick like the plague, which was really hard when they played for the same team. With its two best players at odds, the team crumbled. They didn’t make it to state after all, which was probably for the best. Three games and they were done. Foster never had to step foot into that locker room beside Rick again.
