Page 137 of Still Bruised
“She is,” Mia said, beaming. “Thanks.”
“She got a name yet? Roan didn’t say.”
“Not yet. They told us we were having a boy. Surprise-surprise.”
Jude frowned slightly.“That’swhy Anton said it was going to be a boy. Nobody told me.”
“If you’d come to the gender reveal party, you would’ve known,” Mia said, a hint of judgment in her tone. “But then, the doctor was wrong, so I guess that party was pointless now, hmm?” Mia shook her head. “We were so ready for a boy. We’ve painted the nursery pale blue and bought blue this and blue that. God must’ve saw that and laughed.” She chuckled, smiling down at her baby. “But I’m not mad. She’s perfect. She’s going to be wearing a lot of blue, but oh well.”
Jude inched a little closer for a better look. “Who knows? Maybe she’ll be a tomboy and appreciate all that blue.”
“Maybe. Now we just need to settle on a name for her. We didn’t bother picking a girl one after they told us she was a boy.”
“Do you have any top choices?”
Mia chuckled. “I have a few favorites, but Roan’s pushing hard for his pick.”
“What’s that?”
“Antonia Judith. Named after his two best friends,” Mia murmured.
Jude met her gaze, shocked.
“It’s not the worst choice he could’ve suggested,” Mia said. “My only problem with it is the Judith part.”
Jude stiffened. “Look, Mia…”
“Are you still his friend, Jude? I mean, you don’t come around. You don’t come to our parties. Roan misses you. A lot. I don’t want her name to end up painful for him down the road. A reminder of a close friend he no longer speaks to.”
“I think you know why I don’t come around.”
“No. I actually don’t.”
Jude sighed. “You don’t want me there.”
“When did I ever say that?”Mia asked, eyes wide.
The baby cried out when she’d raised her voice. Mia soothed her until she drifted off back to sleep. As soon as the baby was settled, Mia turned her focus back on Jude.
“When? I’ve invited you toeverything,”Mia said. “I’ve welcomed you into our home. Every party. Every holiday. I’ve never wanted him to feel like he has to make a choice between us. Then you stopped coming and it almost feels like you’re punishing him for being with me. I don’t want him to feel like I’ve robbed him of a friend.”
“I tried, Mia. When you two got serious, I came and I tried. But it soon became clear that you weren’t comfortable around me. I thought it would get better, but it didn’t… so I stopped coming instead of making things awkward.”
Mia sat with that a moment. “I’m not going to lie. Iwasuncomfortable.”
Jude sighed. “See?”
“I feel guilty every time I see you.”
Jude’s gaze whipped to hers.“Guilty?For what?”
“I wasn’t exactly kind to you after you came out.”
Jude sat on the edge of the armchair near the bed, not sure what to say. Losing her as a friend when he’dreallyneeded them had been rough. It had hurt to have one more person turn their back on him.
“I thought I was in love with you and to find out you didn’t have those same feelings—likeat all—was devastating. Being young and dumb, I assumed it had something to do with me. Was I so terrible a girlfriend that you had to switch teams? Hindsight, I realize how stupid that was.” She paused, searching his face. “I was hurt. I was angry. I was embarrassed. I abandoned you when you needed me in your corner. I watched what those people did, and I said nothing. A tiny, little evil part of me was almost glad you were being bullied, if I’m being completely honest.” She cringed. “That was early on, before it got really bad. Before the threats. The longer your torment went on, the worse I felt for being a petty bitch. You never deserved any of that, Jude.” Tears shone in her eyes. “So, yeah. I feel really guilty when I see you. And I didn’t know how to tell you how sorry I was. I think a part of me worried that you’d never forgive me, so I avoided it altogether. But the more I avoided apologizing, the more uncomfortable I was around you.”
Jude couldn’t help but chuckle.
