Page 126 of Still Bruised
“What?”Anton asked, frowning.
“After the party, you talked all kinds of shit about him.”
Anton chuckled, but there was no mirth in the sound. “So, now we come down to the real reason. You were afraid I wouldn’t approve. Sure, Roan, too, but it was mostly the me part, amiright?Sure.Let’s blame Anton.”
“I didn’t say that,” Jude said.
“Although, I have to wonder. Maybe I was wrong about the two of you.”
Jude sighed with relief. Maybe now Anton would leave it be.
“Sounds like you didn’t like himthat muchif you weren’t willing to fight for him,” Anton replied.
Jude tensed. The battle wasn’t over yet. “I never said I liked him in the first place.”
“Oh, come on. I think we both know you did, so let’s move on to the real reason why you dumped him.”
“I didn’t dump him,”Jude muttered.
“What was that?”
Jude sighed. “I didn’t dump him.” Jude toed a small rock on the sidewalk before lifting his gaze to Anton. “He overheard what I said to you the night you caught him at my place—and it hurt his feelings. He said we were over and walked out.”
“That was a couple of days before Halloween, right?”
Jude nodded.
“He sure looked ready to patch things up at Paradise.” Anton paused. “Wait… when I found you, you said you’d gone and had some fun on your own.Foster?”
Jude met Anton’s gaze but didn’t answer.
Anton laughed. “You fucked him… and then… what happened?”
“He wanted more than I could give him right now,” Jude said. “I asked him to back off. It’s over.Officially.”
A hint of a smile stretched over Anton’s lips. “So all that shit about how your friends wouldn’t approve was just a bullshit excuse. You didn’t want to admit you were too chicken shit to get serious with him. You don’t have the strength to fight for who you wanted.”
“That’s not what I said…”
“It’s okay, Jude,” Anton said. “I get it now. You absolutely should’ve broken it off. If you weren’t willing to go to battle to have him, you didn’t really care about him.”
“Of course I care about him! I lov?—”
Jude froze as soon as he realized what he’d almost said.
Anton watched him, silent and wide-eyed.
“I… I lovedthe sex.”
“Liar,”Anton whispered.
Jude winced. He closed his eyes, hating the look of victory in Anton’s eyes.
“There’s no way I love him,” Jude said. “I never let my walls down. Not fully. I was mean to him. I think a part of me wanted him to walk away so I didn’t have to be the one to end it. That’s not love. It’s fucked up and twisted, but then, I’m fucked up and twisted, so maybe in my mind, that’s what love looks like.”
“You saw what love looks like,” Anton said. “Your mother and father treated you to one of the best versions I’ve ever seen. I want what they had. And you should, too.”
“I fucking miss them,” Jude whispered, fighting back a tingle at the backs of his eyes.
